Sunday, December 28, 2014

"How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb"

With all due respect to Dr. Strangelove, I think Peyton Manning is the true wise man among us.  Such remarkable wisdom at such a (relatively) young age.  What a guy!


As everyone who lives in the six-county Dallas Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area (all 6.5 million of 'em) knows, my lovely and talented wife K has been a bit under the weather recently....she has a cold.  Here is what I've heard for the past week:

K:  I don't feel good.

ME:  Sorry babe.  What's the matter?

K:  My throat feels scratchy....and I can feel something in my chest.

ME:  Yuck.  Take some aspirin.

K:  Will that make me feel better?

ME:  I dunno, but it can't hurt.

*an hour later...*

K:  Now my head is feeling clogged.  I don't think aspirin works.

ME:  OK, then look and see if we have any of that Zicam stuff.

K:  No, it makes me feel weird.

ME:  Suit yourself.

K:  Oh, and my head aches, too.

ME:  Sorry.

K:  Do I have any fever?

*feeling forehead....*

ME:  No, you're fine.

K:  You sure?  I'm pretty sure I do.

ME:  OK, then you do.

K:  So what should I take?

ME:  In another 3 hours you can take two more aspirin.

K:  Will that make my fever go away?

ME:  Umm....since you don't have any now anyway, yeah, that will cure your fever.

K:  And my back.  It hurts, too.

ME:  Sorry babe.

K:  Will you fix me some soup?

ME:  OK....we have chicken noodle in a can. 

K:  No.  I like Chicken and Stars.

ME:  But a star is just a five sided piece of noodle.  You won't know the difference.

K:  Yes, I will.  I want Stars.


ME:  OK, on my way.

*back from the store with her soup*

K:  My Facebook friends say I should try lemon and honey.  Will you get me some?

ME:  But I just got back with...


ME:  OK, on my way.

*back from the store with lemon and honey*

K:  Oooooooo....I hurt.

ME:  Sorry babe.





Yada, yada.

By Saturday, at my Clarence Nightingale's wits end, I thought I'd share some wisdom from that great Wise Man, Peyton Manning....

ME:  "Rub some dirt on it."

Today, 7 days after she caught a cold, she's well(ish).  Amazing how that medicinal dirt stuff works, huh?  :)  *Thanks Peyton*



  1. Actually it is wait 7 days and then rub some dirt on it.

    Glad she is wellish.

  2. That sounds more like a Man Cold. Peyton is very wise.

  3. When Mrs. C. Is under the weather no amount of care from me will do. It takes a long time for me to recover when she gets sick.

  4. Doctor up and make someone feel better.

  5. Couldn't you just buy a bigger shirt?

  6. Poor poor K - she'd better stock up on stuff that will really help her before the next time she gets sick :)

  7. Here's hoping your new year is filled with less yuck and more yocks!

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