With all due respect to Dr. Strangelove, I think Peyton Manning is the true wise man among us. Such remarkable wisdom at such a (relatively) young age. What a guy!
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As everyone who lives in the six-county Dallas Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area (all 6.5 million of 'em) knows, my lovely and talented wife K has been a bit under the weather recently....she has a cold. Here is what I've heard for the past week:
K: I don't feel good.
ME: Sorry babe. What's the matter?
K: My throat feels scratchy....and I can feel something in my chest.
ME: Yuck. Take some aspirin.
K: Will that make me feel better?
ME: I dunno, but it can't hurt.
*an hour later...*
K: Now my head is feeling clogged. I don't think aspirin works.
ME: OK, then look and see if we have any of that Zicam stuff.
K: No, it makes me feel weird.
ME: Suit yourself.
K: Oh, and my head aches, too.
ME: Sorry.
K: Do I have any fever?
*feeling forehead....*
ME: No, you're fine.
K: You sure? I'm pretty sure I do.
ME: OK, then you do.
K: So what should I take?
ME: In another 3 hours you can take two more aspirin.
K: Will that make my fever go away?
ME: Umm....since you don't have any now anyway, yeah, that will cure your fever.
K: And my back. It hurts, too.
ME: Sorry babe.
K: Will you fix me some soup?
ME: OK....we have chicken noodle in a can.
K: No. I like Chicken and Stars.
ME: But a star is just a five sided piece of noodle. You won't know the difference.
K: Yes, I will. I want Stars.
*sigh*
ME: OK, on my way.
*back from the store with her soup*
K: My Facebook friends say I should try lemon and honey. Will you get me some?
ME: But I just got back with...
K: I WANT LEMON AND HONEY!
ME: OK, on my way.
*back from the store with lemon and honey*
K: Oooooooo....I hurt.
ME: Sorry babe.
Monday....repeat.
Tuesday....repeat.
Wednesday....repeat.
Thursday....repeat.
Yada, yada.
By Saturday, at my Clarence Nightingale's wits end, I thought I'd share some wisdom from that great Wise Man, Peyton Manning....
ME: "Rub some dirt on it."
Today, 7 days after she caught a cold, she's well(ish). Amazing how that medicinal dirt stuff works, huh? :) *Thanks Peyton*
S
S
Actually it is wait 7 days and then rub some dirt on it.
ReplyDeleteGlad she is wellish.
That sounds more like a Man Cold. Peyton is very wise.
ReplyDeleteWhen Mrs. C. Is under the weather no amount of care from me will do. It takes a long time for me to recover when she gets sick.
ReplyDeleteDoctor up and make someone feel better.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't you just buy a bigger shirt?
ReplyDeletePoor poor K - she'd better stock up on stuff that will really help her before the next time she gets sick :)
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping your new year is filled with less yuck and more yocks!
ReplyDeleteHey, I had a great time reading your website. Can I contact you through email?. Please email me back.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
Angela
angelabrooks741 gmail.com