You may now kiss my ring.
This is a momentous occasion in American history, according to the esteemed junior Senator from Texas. That's because he, Ted Cruz, aka "Mister Modest", "Scuz"*, and "Teddy the Turd"** (hereinafter referred to in polite company as simply "TT"), has announced his candidacy for President of the United States of America.
On a social media message today he asked us to look at his record, proving he's the one-and-only true conservative that can lead us to the Promised Land. He's not a poser, he says, but a true conservative's conservative. Go ahead, look at his record. See for yourself.
In the interest of political enlightenment I have compiled here his complete two-year record of Congressional accomplishment:
There you have it. So if you want more TT (and there's plenty more where this came from), your time has come. Oh joy!
S
* Late night talk show hosts, feel free to use this.
** Late night talk show hosts, feel free to use this.
I know very little about most of the potential candidates and almost nothing about Ted Cruz. He does not seem like one who will change the current atmosphere of divisiveness and roadblocks and complete failure to work together, talk, compromise and get shit done. This party politics of my way or the highway is not how a democracy is supposed to work. Both parties are guilty, both parties should be ashamed, and I suspect this dude is not the solution.
ReplyDeleteBingo, Joe! TT is literally the leader of the my-way-or-the-highway obstructionists.
DeleteI understand he is very smart, and as you probably know I don't trust very smart people, I'm never sure if they are right or just tricking me.
ReplyDeleteOh this made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteI wanna see his birth certificate.
ReplyDeleteHe was born in Canada. They have since renounced his citizenship.
DeleteWhenever I see a picture of Ted Cruz, all I see is Senator Joe McCarthy, and I shiver.
ReplyDeleteI needed a good laugh, Thanks!.
ReplyDeleteIt will be so much fun to see what the late night comedians will do with his candidacy... *sits back and gets popcorn*
ReplyDeleteI may even watch Jon Stewart tonight. I hope he's had time to prepare. As I wrote a good (liberal) friend tonight, "the fun has begun."
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, Ted Cruz' biography says he's a very intelligent man. So how in the hell did he get these lunatic ideas?
He's an opportunist. He has identified a hard-core fringe conservative movement and positioned himself to be their poster boy, their primary mouthpiece. He's telling (some of the) people what they want to hear. Now he's just hoping the other candidates self destruct over the course of the campaign, leaving him alone to face...Hillary(?)
DeleteWell, I'll be hoping he self destructs right along with the rest of his lunatic rivals. Its times like this that I realize that TV shows like "Scandal" and "House of Cards" aren't so farfetched after all.
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait until Perry announces, too!
ReplyDeleteI was just telling Mike that if we had to have a candidate announce this early I'm glad it was him - it's good for some entertainment!
ReplyDelete