Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Hello, India? Is that you? SUP...yeah, it's me, Scott. Again.



"And we'll all be drinking that free bubble up, and eatin' that rainbow stew."

When I buy something, I expect it to work as advertised.  Every time, all the time.  Is that asking too much?

RING:  Service Department.

ME:   Oh hi.  I have a new ____ less than a year old, and it won't start.  I need an appointment, please.

SERVICE DEPT:  Whoa, hold on there buddy.  You know what we have to pay a technician?  We only use those guys as a last resort.  Let's try something else first.

ME:  Umm, OK, like what?

SERVICE DEPT:  I want you to pull out your resistor coil capacitor pack, turn it upside down, and see if the whiffledagger plug has worked itself loose.  If it has, take a hair dryer, turn it to "high heat", get the whiffledagger good and hot, and try and force it back in.  That should take care of it.  Have a nice day.

ME:  No, no, wait...DON'T HANG UP!  Although I can barely understand your English-as-a-second-language speech, you're all I have.  

That's pretty much what it's like talking to AT&T about their U-verse internet/cable TV service.*  They want US to unplug it, wiggle it, whap it a few times, wait 10 seconds, do the hokey-pokey, and finally reconnect it.   Plan B is for them to do a diagnostic on-line, and then grudgingly agree to send us a new box.

It usually arrives in just a few days, but then they want ME to take the old one to a "nearby" (NOT) UPS store and send it back to them.  Umm....it's THEIR box, why can't THEY come get it?

Our cable TV has been an on again/off again thing for weeks now, and this morning the Wifi has given it up, too.  I don't know if it's their service, their equipment, or some faulty wiring preventing the various parts from talking to each other, but in any case, it's THEIR stuff.  

They are sending one of their precious techs out tomorrow to make it work.  If they can't fix it, they can just take it back with them.  I'm too old for this shit.  (Actually I only need TV during football season.  The rest of the year I can happily just do without.  Oh, and 20 Formula 1 race days a year.)

Anyone know anything about Apple TV?  I'm headed there today to check out what they have to offer.

S

*Actually it's K who has been on the phone with the Land Of The Ganges.  My patience gave up years ago.


84 comments:

  1. I play stupider than I actually am to get Mrs. Cranky to handle those things.

    I hear, "Oh, give me the damn phone a lot."

    I feel your pain.

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  2. What frustrates me is when you get service from a cable company, Directv or Dish and they rent a box to you. Then they ask if you want to pay a monthly service agreement if THEIR box breaks down. Seriously?! I'm renting the box from you and you want me to either pay a monthly maintenance fee or pay to have someone come out and fix it if it craps out when it is YOUR box?!

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  3. If it weren't for needing internet I'd just say to heck with it all. Well, *I* would, but the good doctor does have a say in our house too & he does watch documentaries & such. And I got my comeuppance the other day - I figured out that I get a better connection using our land line when I'm working from home when I have work conference calls. Yes, this is the same land line I've been trying to get Mike to agree to get rid of for years :)

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  4. Going on several years now without regular tv. When I am occasionally exposed to it, in a barber shop or car repair waiting room, my decision to live without it is re-validated...in spades! Some of the stuff you watch should be available on the net, which you can then hook onto a large tv screen.

    Our initial introduction to Uverse internet was stormy and explosive, but once they got the quarter mile of cable on poles and off the street, the experience improved to quite good.

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  5. It is frustrating I'll admit. I have little luck with Netflix, yet everyone else I know says it works fine.

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  6. I've got Directv and it's pretty good but the BRD just got it with a bundled package that promised Internet at 40 to 50 MB and she was getting 1.5 the other day. When she called the techie person he just laughed. And so it goes.

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  7. Well, you already know that we cut the cable about two months ago. If you have a "smart" TV or one of the Internet streaming sticks or boxes, you should be able to get most of what you want at a much cheaper rate. I don't know much about Apple TV - aren't they in negotiations with major networks right now?

    We have a little indoor antenna (less than $50) that gets us the stations from Orlando and Tampa, and we have Amazon Prime with all their stuff. If I really missed cable, I could always go to the gym...they have a TV on every single treadmill, bike, and elliptical machine.

    Be brave, Scott, be part of the New Wave!

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