I know to most people I might seem like a relatively normal, well adjusted person, but deep inside I'm hurting. All my friends get together and talk about the new 200" HiDef 1650 LP Nuclear Accumulated Sprocket-Monitor TV's they got for Christmas, and all I can say is, "Gee, that baby sure is thin!" The looks I get are so....so hurtful.
It hurts more than getting picked last for dodge ball or not getting to sit at the lunch table with the cool kids. Actually I was middle-of-the-pack on both of those, but I'm pretty sure being technologically challenged in the 21st Century is worse. My old computer regularly spit out !!!WARNING!!! notices that "Error 521 might cause irreparable damage to my drive 'something' unless I reboot the excecesor", or something like that. All I could do was sit there and say, "I wonder if we're out of queso?"
This was brought to mind yesterday when I tried to set up the new TV one of my vendors gave me for Christmas. (Thank you Jack!) Once I got past mounting the TV on the stand I was hopelessly lost. The instructions seemed like some sort of foreign language. Whoever wrote them just assumed I already had a Master's Degree in Computer Gibberish....they didn't explain crap!
I knew I needed the cables to hook the TV up to the cable box and to the jack in the wall. A trip to the electronics store revealed a wall full of different types of wires to choose from. I finally flagged down some little zit-faced 17-year-old "Sales Associate" who asked, "Is your TV HDMI compatible?" Come on kid, gimme a break! (Naturally I bought the wrong ones and had to go back a second time.)
I finally got the TV to come on and all it said on the screen was "VGA". What the f--- does that mean? What am I supposed to do with that jewel of information? Out of frustration I just started pushing buttons on the remote, buttons that said things like "YPbPr, CC, MTS, EPG, and FAV". I was as lost as a Neanderthal dropped into modern-day Manhattan.
Finally K came home, wiggled a couple of wires, pushed a button somewhere, and it worked.
All I know is that baby sure is thin! ;)
S
