I know to most people I might seem like a relatively normal, well adjusted person, but deep inside I'm hurting. All my friends get together and talk about the new 200" HiDef 1650 LP Nuclear Accumulated Sprocket-Monitor TV's they got for Christmas, and all I can say is, "Gee, that baby sure is thin!" The looks I get are so....so hurtful.
It hurts more than getting picked last for dodge ball or not getting to sit at the lunch table with the cool kids. Actually I was middle-of-the-pack on both of those, but I'm pretty sure being technologically challenged in the 21st Century is worse. My old computer regularly spit out !!!WARNING!!! notices that "Error 521 might cause irreparable damage to my drive 'something' unless I reboot the excecesor", or something like that. All I could do was sit there and say, "I wonder if we're out of queso?"
This was brought to mind yesterday when I tried to set up the new TV one of my vendors gave me for Christmas. (Thank you Jack!) Once I got past mounting the TV on the stand I was hopelessly lost. The instructions seemed like some sort of foreign language. Whoever wrote them just assumed I already had a Master's Degree in Computer Gibberish....they didn't explain crap!
I knew I needed the cables to hook the TV up to the cable box and to the jack in the wall. A trip to the electronics store revealed a wall full of different types of wires to choose from. I finally flagged down some little zit-faced 17-year-old "Sales Associate" who asked, "Is your TV HDMI compatible?" Come on kid, gimme a break! (Naturally I bought the wrong ones and had to go back a second time.)
I finally got the TV to come on and all it said on the screen was "VGA". What the f--- does that mean? What am I supposed to do with that jewel of information? Out of frustration I just started pushing buttons on the remote, buttons that said things like "YPbPr, CC, MTS, EPG, and FAV". I was as lost as a Neanderthal dropped into modern-day Manhattan.
Finally K came home, wiggled a couple of wires, pushed a button somewhere, and it worked.
All I know is that baby sure is thin! ;)
S
ha ha... so true! Even *I* have my problems with all that computer gibberish. No matter what manuals or magazines you get, they don't explain anywhere the basics. I guess they assume you have a subscription for some fancy magazines since the past 20 years. geeeeez Luckily I have my own "Kelly's", eh computer guru's, who explain stuff to me.....
ReplyDeleteI definitely married "up". It's good to have a tech savy spouse. :)
DeleteS
VGA...vagina? It's a girl TV? I guess since it took a girl to get it to work.
ReplyDeleteSo where is the "Midol" button? ;)
DeleteS
Damn!!! How do they make them so thin?
ReplyDeleteMiniaturized transistors?
DeleteS
If they make em any thinner a fly will be able to pass right through them.
ReplyDeleteCareful....I've heard these new TV's are filled with either LSD or plasma.
DeleteS
I know the feeling. As a one-time semi-professional musician, I was always the odd one out when fellow bandmates and others started discussing equipment. Someone would say, "I've got a Gibson 250 G with humbucking pickups, dual phasing volume controls, and a maple-inlaid neck with Surrulian tension rod, and I'm playing it through a 350-a-side Marshall with such-and-such pedals and so-and-thus wiring..." and I'd just be staring down at my bass thinking, "All I know is I turn it on, I press my fingers down one place and pick in the other place, and it makes noise."
ReplyDeleteWe both have a lot of experience checking our shoe shines, don't we? ;)
DeleteS
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind tech stuff. My TV is just a 19" flat screen (not even hi-def) but I always built or serviced my own computers. I haven't built a complete one in nearly eight years, and I would need help now picking out the parts :-)
ReplyDeleteI've told my husband that he can't divorce me, because I don't know what buttons to push on the TV in order to watch a DVD. He's in charge of handling anything TV/DVD/computer related. I'm in charge of spelling and conjugating irregular verbs.
ReplyDeleteYou are SO right, Scott. I've finally figured out (mainly) how to get my TV and DVR and DISH to work together. But not always. I still sometimes have to call the tech support people who give me some ridiculously simplistic question like "is it turned on?" (Frequently it isn't.)
ReplyDeletegolden gooses
ReplyDeletejordan shoes
moncler
nike x off white
kd shoes
supreme shirt
kyrie 6
kyrie 6
supreme clothing
air jordan