Jack? We don't need no stinkin' jack!

This afternoon it was a beautiful day so I took Jax on a long walk around our neighborhood park.  As we walked on the far side a young lady approached me and asked if I knew how to change a tire.  Always willing to help a damsel in distress, I told her I would be happy to change it for her (and thought to myself I would also SHOW her how to do it herself in a dire emergency).

Under the floor in the back of her Toyota Prius I found the donut spare tire and the jack, a standard jack-screw type.

These are simply positioned under the hardened jacking point behind the front fender well (or ahead of the rear fender well) on level ground, and you turn the crank to raise the car.  Piece 'o cake!

Except on a Toyota Prius. 

There was no hardened jacking point where there normally should be.  It was just a mass of cheap plastic.  Putting my Man Card on the line, I asked to see her owners manual.  It showed there to be only one front jacking point, under what looked like an engine mount.  It was a good 1 1/2 ft back from the front bumper.  It was physically impossible to get the jack back there, then crank the handle to raise the car.  WTF?

With my manhood now in serious jeopardy, I decided to....shhh....read the instructions.  *gasp*   This is what it said:

Toyota, you idiots!  It didn't come with a FLOOR jack, but if it had, you're saying to NOT use it?  No Plan B, no "see next page"?  Nuthin'?  So what am I supposed to use for a jack then, huh?  And what was that useless jack-screw thing for?  

Her boyfriend and his buddy eventually arrived and had no more luck figuring it out than I did. I think those smarty pants Toyota engineers are sometimes too brainy for their own good....they might can tell you how to build a watch, but they don't know how to tell time.

You think this was some sort of Japanese passive aggressive revenge for that little atomic bomb thing back in '45? 

S

Chameleon Man

It's funny to me how everyone today wears a label of one sort or another, usually "liberal" or "conservative".  I'll write one thing, and my conservative friends will scream, "He's a raving liberal".  Then a few weeks later I'll give another of my unsolicited opinions and my liberal friends will yell, "Oh no, he's sipped at the Tea Party well."  Truth is my opinions are usually based on a longer ranged, common sense, outcome based models.  Consider this:

I saw this in a recent online business journal....

Our income is grossly unequal and needs to become more balanced.

*I knew it.  He's gone raving liberal.*  Look carefully.  Look at the dates of the last time things got this skewed.  1928-1932, the beginning of The Great Depression.  When the massive, consuming middle class is held down, our economic system bursts under the strain.  We almost saw that in 2008, but were saved (temporarily?) to see stock market highs again today grow into the stratosphere.  Can this go on forever?  Does anything?

Look at our most stable period, 1948-1970.  Our largest employer was GM, and their average pay/benefits adjusted to 2014 dollars was over $50 an hour.  Today our largest employer is Walmart, and their average store employee makes $8.81.  Figuring in their executives and salaried workers, their average pay packet is still only $12.78 an hour.  Numbers like those don't have the buying power to keep our economy going indefinitely.

Beginning in about 1970 (see chart) we became enamored with the idea of "trickle down economics"....giving breaks to the more affluent so they can accumulate even more wealth and use it to create new jobs for an expanding middle class, or so the theory went.  As we now see, many of those new jobs were often bottom-feeding jobs, but *big shock* the 0.1% began their rapid rise to controlling 22% of our wealth.  Again, this can't go on indefinitely.  Never worked, never will.

Change tack:

We need to approve the Keystone pipeline ASAP.  *Oh Jeez....now he's a card carrying Tea Partyer.*  Why?  Because the oil will make it south anyway, only more and more will come here via railroad tank cars, traveling through towns and cities, where accidents and terrorism can bring down havoc on us all.  Common sense says moving oil by rail is NOT ideal.

Plus this is just one more component in some day making us energy independent.  That means more US dollars staying at home vs going overseas to countries that do NOT have our best interests at heart.  It will make us STRONGER, and it's at a time of economic strength that we can begin to phase out all the tax breaks, subsidies, and other perks the wealthy have used since the 1970's to gain a strangle-hold on the middle class.  Over time income will begin to level out, and in the long run we'll all be better off for it.

Is the US going downhill?  Unless we do something, yes, we probably are.  But does it HAVE to be this way?  NO, not at all!  We need to sit together, liberals and conservatives, look at things from a longer ranged perspective and not just from a "what's in it for me now" position, dust off our 'common sense' gene, and make some tough decisions.

It's the start of a new year.  Let's begin it with a new, can-do attitude.  Anyone have the guts to give it a try?  Think we can get any politicians to compromise for our common good?

S

"How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb"

With all due respect to Dr. Strangelove, I think Peyton Manning is the true wise man among us.  Such remarkable wisdom at such a (relatively) young age.  What a guy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As everyone who lives in the six-county Dallas Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area (all 6.5 million of 'em) knows, my lovely and talented wife K has been a bit under the weather recently....she has a cold.  Here is what I've heard for the past week:

K:  I don't feel good.

ME:  Sorry babe.  What's the matter?

K:  My throat feels scratchy....and I can feel something in my chest.

ME:  Yuck.  Take some aspirin.

K:  Will that make me feel better?

ME:  I dunno, but it can't hurt.

*an hour later...*

K:  Now my head is feeling clogged.  I don't think aspirin works.

ME:  OK, then look and see if we have any of that Zicam stuff.

K:  No, it makes me feel weird.

ME:  Suit yourself.

K:  Oh, and my head aches, too.

ME:  Sorry.

K:  Do I have any fever?

*feeling forehead....*

ME:  No, you're fine.

K:  You sure?  I'm pretty sure I do.

ME:  OK, then you do.

K:  So what should I take?

ME:  In another 3 hours you can take two more aspirin.

K:  Will that make my fever go away?

ME:  Umm....since you don't have any now anyway, yeah, that will cure your fever.

K:  And my back.  It hurts, too.

ME:  Sorry babe.

K:  Will you fix me some soup?

ME:  OK....we have chicken noodle in a can. 

K:  No.  I like Chicken and Stars.

ME:  But a star is just a five sided piece of noodle.  You won't know the difference.

K:  Yes, I will.  I want Stars.

*sigh*

ME:  OK, on my way.

*back from the store with her soup*

K:  My Facebook friends say I should try lemon and honey.  Will you get me some?

ME:  But I just got back with...

K:  I WANT LEMON AND HONEY!

ME:  OK, on my way.

*back from the store with lemon and honey*

K:  Oooooooo....I hurt.

ME:  Sorry babe.

Monday....repeat.

Tuesday....repeat.

Wednesday....repeat.

Thursday....repeat.

Yada, yada.

By Saturday, at my Clarence Nightingale's wits end, I thought I'd share some wisdom from that great Wise Man, Peyton Manning....

ME:  "Rub some dirt on it."

Today, 7 days after she caught a cold, she's well(ish).  Amazing how that medicinal dirt stuff works, huh?  :)  *Thanks Peyton*

S

Remember my words!

I see that our illustrious Congress has passed a $1.1T spending bill to keep our gubment up and running for a while longer.  So be it.  But what really chaps my hide is that the unbelievably powerful banking/financial services industry has scabbed on to it a provision that pretty much guts the Dodd-Frank Banking Reform Bill.  WE...ARE...SCREWED!!!!

Basically the banks have been given a green light to get involved in highly profitable, but highly risky investments that are likely to eventually blow up in our face.  I say "OUR face" instead of "THEIR face" because when it all hits the fan again the banks/Wall Street will simply form a line at the Taxpayer's Bailout Window.  Congress has just put us all on the line....we just co-signed a TRILLION DOLLAR note!  *how's your sphincter feeling now?*

Gamblers eventually lose, and these days banks are just glorified, and very highly paid, gamblers. But when these gamblers lose, THEY don't lose.  Their money is safely tucked away.  It's OUR piggy banks that will get robbed.

So when is the bottom gonna fall out again?  Three years?  Five years?  Eight years?  Who knows?  But I fear this next time, unlike the financial meltdown of 2008, the rest of the world will be in the tank ahead of us, with no strong player(s) to pull us through.  (In '08 Europe and China were doing pretty well, which helped absorb some of the carnage.  Today they are in trouble, too.)

I hate being the bearer of bad news, but please don't shoot the messenger.  Shoot Congress and the bankers*.  Please.

S

*figuratively speaking, of course  *Hi NSA*  :)

A new family member!

I found her trolling the internet, looking for someone from a warm climate to rescue her from Minnnesnowta.  She was...oh, wait...wrong family member.  *ahem*

It's the little gray and white furball in K's lap that is actually the one pulling the strings in our family now.  His name is Jax, which means, as best we can tell, absolutely nothing.  (But give me some time and I'll concoct an exotic story he can use to impress the ladies  ;)

In the approximately six weeks since our Luke abruptly died we've both been in mourning.  Hard as we try, dog people like us just cannot properly function without a dog nearby.  It's been a miserable six weeks.  That all changed on Friday when I stumbled across Jax in a SPCA rescue shelter in Plano. 

Our previous dogs had all come from quality breeders because, well, we didn't know where else to look.  There were breeders, and there were dog pounds, and that was it.  The fact that our thoroughbred dogs came with the proper papers meant little to us as we weren't going to sell them or breed them anyway.  

Now we've become more aware of all the thousands millions of dogs needing forever homes, and who will be put to death if they can't find one.  *sniff*  Not on my watch!  There's certainly nothing wrong with quality breeders (NOT puppy mills!), but at least now we have options.

Jax is a mix, Miniature Schnauzer and Poodle.  He's about two years old and is a bit scrawny at 14 pounds.  I think we can get another couple of pounds on him and then he'll be juuuuuust right.  He's almost freakishly good.  He's already house trained, and sheds virtually none at all, as you would expect from either a Schnauzer or a Poodle.  

He's already been fixed, has all his age appropriate shots, and is instant friends with everyone....us, other people young and old, and the other neighborhood dogs, too.  Street noises, including fire trucks passing by on hot runs, and even vacuum cleaners don't faze him.  He has the softest coat, and is a good strong walker.  (He'll no doubt walk a few pounds off me, which is a good thing!)

I had planned to post a few other pics of Jax, but he won't sit still long enough to capture anything but a blur.   He loves chasing tennis balls and playing with his squeaky toys.  He eats and runs and plays enthusiastically, but can also turn it off and just sit and chill with us.  He'll accept belly rubs until the cows come home.  (For the record, so will I.  Just sayin'  :)  

I'm hoping he's a football fan, as Saturday's this time of year will require him to share my attention with a couple of games on TV.  I'm sure we'll work something out.  ;)

Can you tell I'm pretty stoked abut the new kid?  K is too.  In fact, earlier she called for me, and there was a pregnant pause while she tried to remember my name.  :)

All is well here now.  And Luke, Emma, and Tara, just know that the new kid will NEVER replace you in my heart.  You just have another brother now. 

S

EDIT:  Oh, did I mention he has ONE blue eye?  It is the coolest thing!  The vet said sometime dogs with one blue eye are deaf on that side, which if true, might explain his acceptance of noises that other dogs freak out over.  All of which is just fine with me.  :)

"I didn't do it, nobody saw me (?), you can't prove a thing." Those days are gone.

I recently wrote on how, regarding the Ferguson, MO police shooting incident, we shouldn't be too quick to assign guilt or innocence without knowing all the facts first.  I said that hopefully cities will understand that personal body cameras on all police officers would be able to shed considerable light on, and perhaps definitive proof of, what happened during controversial police/public confrontations.

Now we see body-cam video of the police officer in NYC who subdued a large black man who was "resisting arrest".  The grand jury decided to no-bill the officer after the subject died as the result of choking/asphyxiation.  I would love to know what the grand jury heard that would lead them to override what they saw on the video.  It seems like pretty convincing evidence to me.

At least 5 officers had their man surrounded.  His "resisting arrest" consisted of backing up with his hands in the air in a non-threatening manner.  One officer came up from behind and put a choke hold on him, taking him down.  The man repeatedly complained that he couldn't breathe while several officers cuffed him, and several others stood and watched.  He was on the ground with his face kissing the pavement.  His outstretched hand/fingers still didn't seem threatening.  He looked desperate.

With that much manpower on the spot, and with the guy repeatedly saying "I can't breathe", I wonder why #99 couldn't back off some?  Wasn't he sufficiently subdued by then?  If there is other relevant evidence off-camera that we can't see, I wish the authorities would release it because this looks like a pretty cut-and-dried wrongful death to me.  The damage this is causing goes way beyond a monetary settlement with the family.

I don't know about NYC, but I do know that many cities are facing extremely difficult police recruiting challenges.  They want to keep their education/background/training requirements high, but I suspect they are dumbing down their standards to meet their numbers.  That is a recipe for disaster.  

Don't cops know....doesn't EVERYBODY know....that pretty much everything they do outside their own home is likely to be captured on video?  Count on it!

Yes to body cameras.  Now, more than ever!

S

The Rest of the Story (in my best Paul Harvey impersonation)

 Yesterday at Target:

K:  Wait here.  I need to get some wrapping paper.  I'll be right back.

15 minutes later...

ME:  Ah, there you are.  What's taking so long?  How hard can this be?

K:  *sigh*  Men!

ME:  Get this roll.  It looks like it has a lot of paper on it.

K:  No.  The quality isn't right.

ME:  Quality?  What quality?  Who cares...it's disposable.

K:  I'm not sure what color to get.

ME:  DUH!  It's Christmas...get red or green, or red AND green.

K:  *sigh*  Men!

I'm not 100% for sure, but I suspect the same guy who was behind Valentine's, Halloween, and the ever popular Mother's/Father's Day invented wrapping paper, too.  He was a marketing GENIUS!  He shouldn't just be IN the Marketing Hall of Fame, his name should be ON the building!

Think about it....Valentine's:  The flower growers had nothing to do after the Rose Parade floats were built.  All their greenhouses were empty, but capitalism being what it is, they wanted to make better use of their now-idle assets, so they hired a guy to dream up a holiday that would be "flower heavy".  Hence, Valentine's.  It was a totally made up event.

Halloween:  Already gloating over how well his Valentine's promotion had gone over, he approached the candy makers and pitched to them a holiday that would move a lot of candy.  They bit (pardon the pun), and sensing an easy double-dip commission, he pitched the same thing to the costume industry, too.

Mother's/Father's Day:  Hallmark called him and said, "Hey, we want some", and Wah-Lah, greeting card sales quintupled.  Cha-ching!

The wallpaper industry has suffered through innumerable booms and busts.  Wallpaper's popularity goes up and down like women's hemlines.  Grabbing at straws, looking for anything that could give them some stability, they called the guy.

"Help!  We've got a warehouse full of cheap-ass wallpaper we can't move.  We need a holiday.  Quick."

He said, "A holiday.  Just A holiday?  I can make EVERY day a holiday for you guys.  Instead of just handing mom a pot holder or dad a tie, we'll make 'em wrap their gift with your crappy wallpaper.  But we'll call it 'Gift Wrap Paper'.  It sounds much classier.  Whatdaya think?"

"And check this", he added.  "You can wrap just a couple of feet of your crummy wallpaper...er...Gift Wrap Paper...around an over-sized cardboard spool and sell it for ten-times the price!"

GENIUS!

And that's where Gift Wrap Paper came from.

Now you know The Rest of the Story.  :)

S