Here's what I'm proposing to end the stalemate: I'll offer myself up as President. Actually "Dictator" might be more appropriate.
My agenda:
First, I'd banish all professional politicians to France. That would mean no more Congress. Those 9% of you who still like Congress....get over it! They're now France's problem.
Next I'd go to "Wall Street" (the term to include all the ivory-tower crooked financial types), round 'em all up, and banish them to France.
Telemarketers and those who load up my mailbox with junk mail will be banished to France. (This means YOU credit card companies!)
Anyone who's mean to dogs....let's make that just mean people in general....will be banished to France.
Chefs who insist on putting "colorful vegetables" on the same plate with my steak....will be banished to France.
Football would become a year-round sport, playing in two shifts. Each plays for six months, then takes six months off for knee surgeries and rehab while the other shift keeps
Anyone driving an electric car will not have to pay taxes. Not because I like electric cars, but because they're saving lots of gasoline....FOR ME! They'll be allowed to vacation in France, but they won't have to.
Anyone not in construction or agriculture who owns a pickup truck will be banished to France. Minivan owners are on thin ice, too.
And people who are in front of me at a traffic light, yapping and texting and not paying attention, who wake up just as the light turns yellow again, making me miss MY turn to go.....will be banished to France.
I think I'm gonna like this Dictator thing.
Feel free to petition me with those you'd like to see banished to France, too. After all, I'm here to serve. :)
S
LOL - so France is the new Australia in your world? Oh, & I hope it's nice there because I am NOT agreeing with the football thing at all. :)
ReplyDeleteThen dust off your beret. ;)
ReplyDeleteS
I'm thinking I could be on thin ice since I drive a mini van. But I do agree about the one with texting or talking on a cell phone they definitely need to be banished for our safety!
ReplyDeletebetty
When can I expect my first class tickets to France so I can begin my banishment, Oh Great One?
ReplyDeleteSteve...you too? What was your crime?
ReplyDeleteGee, I kind of liked France when I was there briefly back in '85. Couldn't you maybe send the evildoers to . . . . Utah?
ReplyDeleteUtah? Hmm....OK, I'll look into it.
ReplyDeleteCan we also send those people who talk on their phones while they're walking, then stop suddenly to make a dramatic point, causing a pedestrian traffic jam? The annoy the shit out of me.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Kellie. If they can't talk and keep moving at the same time, we don't need 'em.
ReplyDeleteS
France is perfect, they already hate us. I nominate sending anyone who wears a shirt saying a urging and then asks "what are you stark g at!". That should be saying anything.
ReplyDeleteI hate this tiny keypad!
I think you're making a mistake sending all those evil people to Carla Bruni country...just sayin'. How about Antarctica?
ReplyDeleteAnd if you'll make all weekends 3-day weekends and Halloween, April Fool's Day, and my birthday a national holiday, then you have my vote for dictator!
Oooooh....I forgot about Carla. Good point. What do you think about Utah? That was Bruce's suggestion.
ReplyDeleteLots of national holidays, sure. That means no mail, which means NO BILLS! ;)
Dictators don't pay bills Scott, they mail them out.
ReplyDeleteDo I get to print money? PLEASE say yes. ;)
ReplyDelete