I've come to believe statistics are just some high-end slight-of-hand tricks that very highly educated mathematicians use on us to pull in big-buck paychecks. And by "us" I mean the American taxpayers. For example, just this morning I heard on 'da news that, according to the Labor Department, in December the US economy generated 156,000 new jobs, AND THE JOB CREATION FIGURE FOR NOVEMBER WAS ADJUSTED UPWARDS TO 204,000.
What do they mean "adjusted upwards"? I suspect what they were trying to say, without giving away their little scam, is that they just made up a number a month ago, but since then they've looked around and seen fewer panhandlers on the street, so, yeah, more people are probably working than they first guesstimated.
"So what do ya think, guys? Should we bump it another 20,000?"
"Sounds good to me. But hurry it up, Genius Jeopardy is on in 20 minutes."
And how can we check their numbers? If you Google it, Google refers you to the GOVERNMENT STATISTICS!
WELL, DUH! Seems like pretty good job security to me.
Hmmm....methinks I've just figured out their dirty little secret. *wink*
S
NOTE: I actually meant this to be satirical, but the more I think about it, the more it seems to resemble reality.
