The Dallas Morning News is a worthless piece of s__t!

Finally....a legitimate use for The Dallas Morning News.

If I had a bird, I wouldn't insult it by lining its cage with the Dallas Morning News.  

Many years ago Dallas had two daily newspapers, the Morning News and the (afternoon) Dallas Times Herald.  The Times Herald eventually closed its doors and the very next day (as I recall) classified advertising rates in the Morning News nearly doubled.  Bastards!

With the increasing popularity of internet news, most print newspapers have seen nothing but financial losses in recent years.  When the Dallas Morning News let go most of their writers to save a buck, the size of the paper was nearly cut in half....there wasn't much left worth reading.  AND the price shot up.  AND they lost 20% of their subscribers the next year.  Including ME!

I suspect they're staying afloat these days by being the local print and delivery source for a few national papers such as The New York Times and (I believe) The Wall Street Journal.  Trouble is, they can't reliably deliver them.  Literally half the time K has to call the paper and tell them they missed our delivery.  It's an ongoing battle.  

I quit!  Today we switched our national newspaper subscription to a digital online version only.  As I see it, though, I didn't fire the Dallas Morning News.  They fired themselves.  Good riddance.

S

Customer Service....RIP

"Our Director of Customer Service is Helen Wait.  If you want customer service, go to Helen Wait."

Is anyone reading this old enough to remember newspaper boys?

They were usually elementary or jr. high age kids who would make their delivery rounds by bicycle early in the morning before school started.  Part of their job was to deliver the paper TO YOUR PORCH.  Anything less would usually result in a call to the newspaper, who would dispatch the kid back out to knock on your door and hand you your paper, along with an apology.

Later, for whatever reason, the rules were changed.  I guess the kids' work ethic was beginning to slip, so the newspapers gave the kids plastic baggies and told them to bag the papers and just try to hit the front yard.  

Later still, I suppose they couldn't get enough kids to do the job so they recruited adults who had cars to cover larger areas of town.  They would drive down the street at 40 mph and just sling papers out the window.  If it landed anywhere at all on the property it was considered a successful delivery.

IMO today we've hit absolute bottom.  One of the (print) papers I like to read is the Sunday NY Times.  It's printed locally by the Dallas Morning News and distributed by their crack crew of delivery specialists crack heads.  At least every other week....sometimes several weeks in a row....we have to call the paper and remind them who we are, where we live, that we are one of their "valued" customers, and that we want our paper!

I'm surprised they don't just tell us to come on by and pick one up, or better yet, just go on-line and read it there (which is what I do M-Sat) and quit callin' and wakin' em up.  "Paying customers are just so darn demanding these days...sheesh!"

Listen up Amazon, REI, LL Bean, and those handful of others who still have excellent customer service:  Don't let your people mingle with the general public.  Filter the air in your buildings and boil all water before use.  Offer all available immunizations against this insipid "give-a-shit" disease that is devouring customer service across our land.  Your reputation, your very existence even, depends on it!

S

Suddenly I feel like a techie!

I never thought of myself as being too technologically savvy.  Far from it.  I proudly wear the label "Neanderthal".  Then I read about Larry Rogers and his wife Joan in the local newspaper.  We'll just conveniently skip over the fact that they're 86 and 84 years old respectively.  


To quote Larry, he doesn't have a "computer, cell phone, iPhone, uPhone, myPod, yourPod, hisPad, herPad, answering machine,VCR, cable TV," etc.  He still uses a rotary dial telephone, a manual typewriter, and watches TV on a boxy 19-inch model.  He did have to break down recently and buy a digital converter box so he could keep his antique Magnavox TV up and running.  He's never used an ATM machine.  When he buys something and the clerk expects him to swipe his credit card, he just hands it to them instead and says, "Here, you do it."  He said "I tried a time or two, but after twisting that credit card around every which way, putting the stripe on this side and that, I just started saying 'you do it'".


He drives a 1992 Ford Crown Victoria.  It has a cassette player and cruise control, neither of which he has ever used.  He says he doesn't own a tape, and "the idea of sticking the gas pedal open just sounds nuts.  Why, I wouldn't feel in control."  And Joan doesn't even own an electric clothes dryer.  "I get out there in the sun and hang clothes on the line.  It's good exercise."


Understand, these aren't poor people, and they're certainly not dumb.  Larry, a veterinarian, retired 30 years ago thanks to his smart investments, and since then they've traveled all over the world.  (By airplane?)  He still manages his portfolio with spiral bound ledgers and a hand held calculator.  He did, however, recently buy a new calculator after his decades-old TI model finally died.  (Whoa.....slow down there, Larry!)


So you see, next to Larry and Joan I feel like an absolute techie.  I have an iPhone with lots of apps, several of which I can actually use.  I have a Kindle and a computer and I know how to blog.  I have a digital camera and, yes, even an electrical clothes drying machine.  


No, I'm not making fun of the Rogers'.  Deep down I actually envy them.  Imagine being happy with what you have and where you live and what you drive.  Do all these modern whiz-bang tools we have today really make our lives easier and less complicated?  I think I know how Larry and Joan would answer that.  I'd be willing to meet them half way.  ;)


S