How awkward was THAT?

The big story in today's newspaper was the State Dinner hosted at the White House last night by Brick and Michelle O'bama in honor of their special guest, the President of France.  I read that, then looked at the photo and thought, "Since when did Bob Newhart become the President of France?"

I looked closer through my steroid-eyedrop-filled inflamed eye and saw that it wasn't Bob Newhart at all, but Francois Hollande (pronounced "o-LAUND").  The awkward part was he showed up alone, or as we called in back in my yout, stag.

Poor Francis.  Poor France.  It looks like they've pretty much hit bottom.  For a while it looked like they might make a comeback when they dumped that old guy (can't remember his name) who used to be President and elected Nicholas Sarkozy.  Actually he wasn't anything special either until he hooked up with my old girl friend (before K, of course), Carla Bruni.

I first met Carla when she was a singer / songwriter...

She would sing me beautiful love songs in French.  Or maybe it was just the Paris phone book put to music, I have no idea.  Anyway, we kept our fling private, or at least she did.  VERY private.  (She used to cryptically call me Who?)

But like most long-distance romances ours eventually floundered and Nick the Shark got her on the rebound.  I really didn't mind because he was pretty much a zero by himself and now he at least had an attractive lady to take to fancy parties.

I like to think of it as my little contribution to American / French relations.

But now look what the French have gone and done.   They elected "o-LAUND", their economy sank even deeper into the toilet, he left one "companion" for another (which now looks like they had little more than a one night stand), and now he shows up stag at a fancy party in his honor.  He couldn't even get a woman to go with him on a private jet to a free dinner in America!

But as they say, all's well that ends well.  Michelle made a few calls and set "o-LAUND" up with a friend of hers on a blind date.  It was said that everyone had a nice time, "o-LAUND" agreed to keep sending us Dannon yogurt, and we agreed to keep sending France old Jerry Lewis movies.  Diplomacy at its finest.

Vive la France!  ;)

S

       

!! BREAKING NEWS !!

Kidding....this must be the most boring news day ever.  Did Beyonce lip-sync the Star Spangled Banner at O'Bama's inauguration?  Why would anyone care?

Michelle O'Bama rolled her eyes at something John "Boner" Boehner said at lunch.  The big deal is they won't tell us what he said.  Shouldn't there be some Freedom of Information Act rule that applies here?

Apache helicopter pilot Prince Harry (Capt. Wales if you're curious) is in trouble with the Taliban....shouldn't that be a mark of honor?....for saying popping terrorists is like playing a video game.  Take note Xbox....I've found your next celebrity spokesman.

All the world's big-name bankers are assembled in Davos, Switzerland trying to tell us they're really good guys and asking us to pleeeeease not regulate them any more.  Now that's an uphill PR battle.  "Listen to what I say, just don't watch what I do."  

One of the Williams sisters lost her match and destroyed her tennis racket in frustration.  Like that's never happened before.  Next they're gonna tell us some golfer got pissed and threw his clubs in the lake.

Hold the presses:  The AP headline reads "Foes of NYC Soda Size Limit Doubt Racial Fairness".  Huh?  

Airlines still have all their Boeing 787's parked due to the plane's insistence on smoking in the lavatory, and in the cockpit, and in the cargo hold, and in the avionics bay....

To try and make a few bucks off of them while they're just sitting there smoldering, how about this:  Open them up as kid's playgrounds.  I mean, are those cool slides or what?  :)

And finally, it's been leaked that this year's Super Bowl XLVII will be heavy with beer, car, and cola commercials.  Unlike the other XLVI Super Bowls that came before it. 

Y'all behave.

S