The Royal Baby

He probably looks something like this.

Daily life in Great Britain, the US, and much of the rest of the world came to a standstill for a few minutes yesterday when Princess Kate Duchess Windsor Middleton Cambridge gave birth to a new heir to the British Throne.  Little Prince Elroy* and his mum are both said to be doing well.  A beaming Prince William was quoted as saying, "Me?  Don't we have Royal Hired Help to change those?"

With the new expanded Windsor-Middleton-Cambridge family scheduled to come home today, Extreme Home Makeover, UK crews "gave it the beans" (English euphemism for "hurried things up"), getting the baby's room painted blue and the wood-cut-out letters E L R O Y hung over his crib.  

Elsewhere Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip were spotted wearing floppy hats and dark sunglasses trying to quietly get a few last minute things at We Be Toys.  Besides a lamp and a small rug, the Queen reportedly bought a gilded photo frame for the autographed picture of Herself she planned to present to the Royal Tyke.

Royal Bookies currently have Baby Elroy eventually becoming a Royal Air Force Sea King helicopter pilot like his dad, 5-2 odds over becoming a British Army Apache helicopter pilot like his uncle Harry, despite the fact that Apache's are way more cool.

The Lowandslow's have sent their congratulatory email, and we look forward to someday meeting King Elroy when we visit England for a little sightseeing.  I'm sure he's looking forward to meeting us, too.

S

*Prince Scott was ruled out early after Scotland announced they would soon hold an election on whether to remain in the United Kingdom or go it alone.  An incensed Queen Elizabeth reportedly said, "Well then, shag 'em."

!! BREAKING NEWS !!

Kidding....this must be the most boring news day ever.  Did Beyonce lip-sync the Star Spangled Banner at O'Bama's inauguration?  Why would anyone care?

Michelle O'Bama rolled her eyes at something John "Boner" Boehner said at lunch.  The big deal is they won't tell us what he said.  Shouldn't there be some Freedom of Information Act rule that applies here?

Apache helicopter pilot Prince Harry (Capt. Wales if you're curious) is in trouble with the Taliban....shouldn't that be a mark of honor?....for saying popping terrorists is like playing a video game.  Take note Xbox....I've found your next celebrity spokesman.

All the world's big-name bankers are assembled in Davos, Switzerland trying to tell us they're really good guys and asking us to pleeeeease not regulate them any more.  Now that's an uphill PR battle.  "Listen to what I say, just don't watch what I do."  

One of the Williams sisters lost her match and destroyed her tennis racket in frustration.  Like that's never happened before.  Next they're gonna tell us some golfer got pissed and threw his clubs in the lake.

Hold the presses:  The AP headline reads "Foes of NYC Soda Size Limit Doubt Racial Fairness".  Huh?  

Airlines still have all their Boeing 787's parked due to the plane's insistence on smoking in the lavatory, and in the cockpit, and in the cargo hold, and in the avionics bay....

To try and make a few bucks off of them while they're just sitting there smoldering, how about this:  Open them up as kid's playgrounds.  I mean, are those cool slides or what?  :)

And finally, it's been leaked that this year's Super Bowl XLVII will be heavy with beer, car, and cola commercials.  Unlike the other XLVI Super Bowls that came before it. 

Y'all behave.

S