I'm not a "joiner"

I had a fun day yesterday at the Frisco Gun Club.  I thought the Dallas Gun Club was nice (that's where I took shooting lessons once from the guy who was the "hunt master" (?) on the estate of The Earl of Something-Or-Other in Scotland), but I think this place could give it a run for it's money.

Ahh....nothing like "Hard Liquor and Handgun Night" at the club with the family.

I remember after a day of shooting sporting clays at the Dallas Gun Club a few years ago I was impressed enough I thought I would join.  I went online and filled out the membership application, then was instructed to send it in along with $5,000 and they would see if my nose was stuck sufficiently high enough into the stratosphere to warrant them talking to me any further.  

POP!  *the sound of my bubble bursting*

I seem to have a knack for taking my thinly papered wallet to places that require a personal financial statement be submitted prior to entry. 

When I was still in high school researching which colleges I wanted to go to I decided on the University of Hawaii.  At the time they didn't have any out-of-state tuition, so it sounded affordable.  

Then my dad asked how I was going to get to Hawaii, and then home again for the summer?  I said, "No prob....I'll just fly."  He asked, "On who's dime?"

Umm....  it was about then that Texas Tech, located in beautiful picturesque West Texas, rose to the top of my list....

That's "Diamond Head on the Plains" on the horizon, left.

Then when I was in college I saw a story in Life magazine (?) about an experiment at Vassar College in NY whereby they would begin admitting a few males to the previously all-girls school.   I wanted to be one of those select few.

  
Go Vassar!

I went so far as to write them and ask for an application and a catalogue.  They sent the application, but said I would have to fill it out and send it back with a $50 application fee (times were simpler then) before they would send me the catalogue.  I'm guessing I wasn't the only guy making that same request.

As it would have been challenging for me to scrape together $5 at the time, much less $50, my experience at Vassar was brief....and all in my head.  :)

Now that I think about it, I'm just gonna pay per visit to the Frisco Gun Club....no membership for me.  Groucho Marx might have been on to something when he said, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."  

I do have my standards, you know.  :)

S

Fun and games at the DMV

A while back I received a letter from our Department of Public Safety (aka the DPS, our State Police), what you folks in the other 49 would call the DMV, telling me that this year I needed to renew my drivers license in person.  

Something about they were pretty sure my appearance had changed since my last mug shot.  (I've just been renewing online without having to pose for a new photo since they invented the internet back in the '90's.)

I sent them a more current "selfie"....

...but they emailed back they couldn't use it because they can only take "head shots", then added a very nice note about how I should try out for that new TV show Last Comic Standing.

So this morning at 10:30, after I thought the line would have thinned out some, I mosied down to the DPS office.

Missed it by thaaaat much.

I finally made it inside to the "check in" window where they gave me a form to fill out and my very own personalized number, then pointed me towards the packed waiting area.  After watching the lawn boys mow the grounds outside....twice....they eventually called for me...."now serving number 12,368". 

I gave the nice man my properly filled out paperwork and he looked pleased UNTIL he got to the part about my Social Security number.  It seems it didn't match the number in their database.  He insisted I wasn't me.  He wanted my Social Security card or a W-2.  I told him I didn't usually carry my file cabinet around with me, so he was just gonna have to work around it.

It was about then I think I saw him reaching under the counter to push a button which I assumed would bring out a SWAT team or something.  Trying to defuse the situation I asked him how I could be in their system since 1966 and they just now figured out something was amiss?

He turned his computer monitor around and showed me:  The first two digits of my SSN had been reversed.  He told me I MUST return with my official Social Security card or the FBI, Homeland Security, and Interpol would be super pissed, or worse, the Tea Party might have me deported as "undocumented".

In my always playful, pleasant tone I told him it seemed pretty obvious to me a DPS clerk somewhere made a data entry error and FRICKED up my file, and therefore it was up to the DPS to UN-FRICK it!

Did you know there are uniformed, armed State Troopers there patrolling behind the customer service counter?  (I wonder how badly you have to screw up to get assigned to the Drivers License Division?)  

After a twenty mile round trip home to search through files that haven't been touched since the Carter Administration, I returned with my official Social Security card.

All is good now.  After an exchange of money, a donation to some wayward urchin fund, and an agreement to be an organ donor I am now once again authorized to drive on the Highways of the Realm.

Tomorrow....I'm sleeping in.  :)

S

RANT WARNING!....RANT WARNING!

If you're one of those morons who wants to star in your own Jackass movie by jumping off your roof into a cup of water, I say go for it.  As long as you don't hurt anyone else, I see it as positive for the rest of humanity.

But when you start doing things that hurt others, or the defenseless....especially the defenseless....then you have just found yourself a new mortal enemy.  ME!  Yesterday I came face-to-face with one of the latter.

K and I met my daughter and granddaughter for lunch, then we drove a couple of blocks to a mall that had an indoor kids playground.  As we left and were walking across the parking lot, K heard a dog barking.  She went to investigate and found this....

....a little tiny cha-hee-hee dog locked up in a black car, with a black interior, parked with the windshield facing west.  The poor little thing was panting heavily. It was in the low 90's outside, but I'm sure it was 110, 120, maybe more inside.  The window was cracked maybe 1 1/2", but BFD!

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

I felt like that comic strip character who gets all riled and turns green and starts going after bad guys.  While the ladies stood watch over the little guy I went into the nearest store and instructed them to have mall security meet me outside immediately.  In less-than-record time Paul Blart, Mall Cop arrived.  It was apparent he had an IQ well short of triple digits.  

He radioed mall HQ and they dicked around on their little walkie-talkies for a few minutes, then I said screw you, I'm calling for the REAL cops.  Fortunately several of Plano's finest drove through about that time and I flagged them down.  They requested animal control come immediately, took my name and number as the complainant, and we waited.

By this time it had been at least 20 minutes since we arrived....no telling how long the dog had been like that before we arrived....and I was fully prepared to grab the glass and rip it out of the car door if something didn't happen fast.

About that time a little preppy girl came out to the car, and I went off.  

"Oh....I was only in there for a minute."  

"A minute" my ass!

She got the dog out and K had some water ready.  The little dude seemed most appreciative.  I read her the Riot Act, told her she almost killed her dog, what a despicable person she was, etc....and the cops sat back and let me.  *thanks cops  :)*

After I spoke my mind the cops took her ID and were running it through all their databases, so we left.  K said she hoped the girl had warrants against her and they hauled her in.

I do not apologize for my loud, belligerent attitude towards her.  I would happily do it all over again.  I hope you would have the cajones to step in, too, if you saw something similar.

And if you're one of those who has a dog (or any kind of pet) and aren't willing to properly care for it, why have it?  Give it up to someone who will.  Or face someone like me who will REALLY, REALLY make you want to give it up.

Fair warning.

S

Black Mazda 2, 4-door....sorry excuse for a human being inside.  Somewhere in the west Plano, TX area.  Considered intellectually unarmed, but still very dangerous.

Cars and Coffee, July 2014

As I suspected would be the case, attendance at this month's Cars and Coffee event was down by roughly 25% due to many of the regular attendees being out of town for the holidays.  That turned out to be a blessing in disguise as it was much easier to walk around and take photos....there were lots of unique cars there I hadn't seen before.

The oddest of the odd had to be this 1960 Panhard.  Can you guess its country of origin?

A clue?  OK...."stinky cheese"...."escargot"....DOH....

Yes, France!  The home of the world famous Le Odd School of Automotive Design.

Doesn't it just scream, "Stop the assembly line!  We're out of wine." 

It completely out classed the East Germans, who nevertheless proudly displayed their ever-popular Trabant.  How 'bout that fine build quality, huh?  (Take note J.D. Powers.)

McLaren was there showing off their uber-exotic P1.

Fetching from any angle.

Here's one I'd never heard of...a Rossion Q1.

It's a specialty American maker and it's based on the British Noble M400.  Meh.

I saw this Jaguar F-Type coupe there, the first coupe I've seen in the flesh.  It is truly spectacular from this angle. 

Unfortunately IMO the front doesn't impress as much.  It seems a bit busy.

This was a true rarity....a 1990 BMW Z1.

The owner told us there were only 8000 made, all for Europe, although a dozen now reside in the US.

The most interesting thing about this unique car were the doors.  They "opened" by sliding down into the door sills.  Oh, those wacky Germans!

Whatcha lookin' at Scott Tweety?

Anglophile that I am, you knew I'd be drawn to the British sports cars.

This very nice 1962 Triumph TR4 stirred me.  ( I said "stirred", not "shaken".  :)

Likewise did this classic Triumph Spitfire, although I think it would have looked better in British Racing Green, especially with that tan leather interior.  That's my favorite color combination on British sports cars.

How about some vintage off-roaders?  This was one of the best back in its day, the Toyota 40-series Land Cruiser.

Newly refurbished Ford Broncos like this have developed a cult following and are now demanding top dollar.

Most unusual paint job of the day went to this iridescent purple/green Mazda RX-8.  The verdict is still out.

The worst....this Fiat 500, although Peter Max fans might disagree.

This BMW 1600 Cabrio was impressively restored and maintained. 

Beautiful!  Love it!

Some classic Americana....

....a '59 Cheeevy.  Fins rock!

Anyone remember the Nash Rambler?

Yes, this was the car immortalized in >>the "Beep Beep" song<< by the Playmates in 1958. 

Ahhh....Hula girls, fuzzy dice, curb feelers, and necker knobs.  Who remembers?

I know!

Looks like the rolling Tacky Party made it to Dallas just in time. 

Note the Sapporo beer tap handle as the gear shift. (Walmart, here they come!)

But for simple, classic understated style....

....I think I'd take this '70's-era Ferrari 308 home.

Hope you enjoyed Cars and Coffee/Dallas, July 2014.  :)

S

So, how YEW doin'?

I found this interesting graph in the news this morning, accompanying a report that the US economy gained a whopping 288,000 jobs last month.

I wonder what the stories are behind those stats?


Some are easy to figure out.  We're drilling lots of oil and gas in North Dakota and Texas, so that explains those states stellar numbers.  DC's good fortune is due to the ever growing number of gubment employees and the lobbyists who own them.
Alaska's numbers are due to the film crew up there filming that fishing show.  And Colorado has their weed growers.  Oklahoma is experiencing a huge number of people buying new teeth, so the denture industry there is booming.  (It's a peer pressure thing.  That and home pregnancy test sales.)

Minnesnowta has added a couple million new folks to their always popular snow shoveling industry.  California is trying to up their image by mandating referees in their gang turf wars.  The gluten-free craze is no doubt hurting Kansas wheat growers.

Wyoming is looking rather bleak because Dick Cheney has moved back home and is now officially listed as "unemployed".  South Carolina and Florida are hurting because tourists have just noticed it's hotter 'n hell there.  Same for Arizona....times 3.  Georgia...Atlanta.  'Nuff said.

Ohio....they've filled the position for who dots the i.  Everyone else is SOL.  Michigan's numbers suck, but I predict a strong rebound as they make all those replacement parts for the 30,000,000 recalled GM cars.  And every time Brick O'Bama's ratings crater ever deeper, the Illinois tourist industry sees another drop in attendance.

And since Cranky Old Man has taken retirement to a whole new level of horizontal living, New Jersey has lost their roll model.

Bringing up the rear....Nevada.   With those long-life LED light bulbs the new big thing, all those Las Vegas strip light bulb changers are getting pink slips.  (Move over buggy whip makers.)

Who have I missed.  Help me out, please.  :)

S

The linchpin of 20th Century history

Here's another Paul Harvey-ish "The Rest of The Story" (stay with me here):

Those of us who stayed awake in history class already know the story of how this meek looking Serb...

 ...Gavrilo Princip, assassinated the heir to the Austo-Hungarian throne, Archduke Ferdinand and his wife, Sophia 100 years ago in Sarajevo. 

 The last photo taken of Ferdinand and Sophia before they were killed moments later.

This led to war between Austro-Hungary and Serbia, which also brought in Germany, England, France, Russia, the US, The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) and others to what we know today as...

...World War I.

Because of Russia's disastrous showing under the corrupt Czar Nicholas his people revolted, eventually leading to the rise of....

...Vladimir Lenin and his Bolsheviks/Communists.

After The Great War the victorious Allies put in place very harsh terms on the vanquished which brought great misery to average Germans, eventually leading to the rise of....

...Adolf Hitler and his Nazi Party and World War II.

The new Post War League of Nations gave administration of the Mid East to France and Britain, who set up the boundaries of many of the present day countries there.

The newspapers still remind us every day how well THAT worked out! 

And of course Lenin's legacy brought us the Cold War...

 ...which lasted until the end of 1991.

All things considered, it was a pretty crappy century.

Now for The Rest Of The Story:  How exactly did Princip come to assassinate the Archduke and his wife?  He had fashioned a crude bomb which he dropped from a bridge onto the Archduke's automobile, but it bounced off the car's folded-back canvas top and exploded without causing injury to the Royals. 

To avoid capture Princip ducked into a nearby business to hide.  The Archduke insisted on completing his ceremonial rounds in Sarajevo so he set out again, but his driver MADE A WRONG TURN which took them right by the shop where Princip was hiding.

Seeing his opportunity, Princip came out and fired 2 shots at Ferdinand and Sophia, killing them both.  Many would argue that that wrong turn set off the chain of events that defined the 20th Century.

Without that wrong turn there might not have been an assassination, WWI, Lenin's revolution, Hitler's WWII, the Cold War, or the current Mid East debacle. 

It goes to show the tiniest things can have the most profound effects on history.

S