Something about they were pretty sure my appearance had changed since my last mug shot. (I've just been renewing online without having to pose for a new photo since they invented the internet back in the '90's.)
I sent them a more current "selfie"....
...but they emailed back they couldn't use it because they can only take "head shots", then added a very nice note about how I should try out for that new TV show Last Comic Standing.
So this morning at 10:30, after I thought the line would have thinned out some, I mosied down to the DPS office.
Missed it by thaaaat much.
I finally made it inside to the "check in" window where they gave me a form to fill out and my very own personalized number, then pointed me towards the packed waiting area. After watching the lawn boys mow the grounds outside....twice....they eventually called for me...."now serving number 12,368".
I gave the nice man my properly filled out paperwork and he looked pleased UNTIL he got to the part about my Social Security number. It seems it didn't match the number in their database. He insisted I wasn't me. He wanted my Social Security card or a W-2. I told him I didn't usually carry my file cabinet around with me, so he was just gonna have to work around it.
It was about then I think I saw him reaching under the counter to push a button which I assumed would bring out a SWAT team or something. Trying to defuse the situation I asked him how I could be in their system since 1966 and they just now figured out something was amiss?
He turned his computer monitor around and showed me: The first two digits of my SSN had been reversed. He told me I MUST return with my official Social Security card or the FBI, Homeland Security, and Interpol would be super pissed, or worse, the Tea Party might have me deported as "undocumented".
In my always playful, pleasant tone I told him it seemed pretty obvious to me a DPS clerk somewhere made a data entry error and FRICKED up my file, and therefore it was up to the DPS to UN-FRICK it!
Did you know there are uniformed, armed State Troopers there patrolling behind the customer service counter? (I wonder how badly you have to screw up to get assigned to the Drivers License Division?)
After a twenty mile round trip home to search through files that haven't been touched since the Carter Administration, I returned with my official Social Security card.
All is good now. After an exchange of money, a donation to some wayward urchin fund, and an agreement to be an organ donor I am now once again authorized to drive on the Highways of the Realm.
Tomorrow....I'm sleeping in. :)