Showing posts with label Dixville Notch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dixville Notch. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It's official. The winner is.....

....actually it's a tie.  It seems the good folks, all 10 of them, in Dixville Notch, NH have split their votes 5 (Obama) to 5 (Romney).  Dixville Notch is famous for opening its polling place at midnight, becoming the first to report election results to the world.  What they need is one more person to move there, and assuming he's an eligible voter, insuring there will never be a tie again.  Until one of the others dies. *sigh...why is this always so complicated?*



Here's what I'm proposing to end the stalemate:  I'll offer myself up as President.  Actually "Dictator" might be more appropriate.

My agenda: 

First, I'd banish all professional politicians to France.  That would mean no more Congress.  Those 9% of you who still like Congress....get over it!  They're now France's problem.

Next I'd go to "Wall Street" (the term to include all the ivory-tower crooked financial types), round 'em all up, and banish them to France.

Telemarketers and those who load up my mailbox with junk mail will be banished to France.  (This means YOU credit card companies!)

Anyone who's mean to dogs....let's make that just mean people in general....will be banished to France.

Chefs who insist on putting "colorful vegetables" on the same plate with my steak....will be banished to France.

Football would become a year-round sport, playing in two shifts.  Each plays for six months, then takes six months off for knee surgeries and rehab while the other shift keeps us me entertained.  Anyone who objects will be banished to France.

Anyone driving an electric car will not have to pay taxes.  Not because I like electric cars, but because they're saving lots of gasoline....FOR ME!  They'll be allowed to vacation in France, but they won't have to.

Anyone not in construction or agriculture who owns a pickup truck will be banished to France.  Minivan owners are on thin ice, too.

And people who are in front of me at a traffic light, yapping and texting and not paying attention, who wake up just as the light turns yellow again, making me miss MY turn to go.....will be banished to France.

I think I'm gonna like this Dictator thing.

Feel free to petition me with those you'd like to see banished to France, too.  After all, I'm here to serve.  :)

S