Sad news

An 82-year-old local gentleman suffering from dementia who has been missing since October 11th has been found by hunters deceased in his vehicle 165 miles west of Dallas.  He left home to go to David's Meats (my butcher) and was never seen again.  No foul play was ever suspected.  A "Silver Alert" was promptly issued statewide without success.

While I didn't know him, I knew his son....he went to school with my brother....and his wife worked for my CPA.  Both were wonderful people.  It's hard to imagine someone wandering off and dying like that all alone, probably cold and hungry.

He was "old school" and didn't have a cell phone which might have been used to locate him. Likewise he had a GM SUV, but wasn't a subscriber to their Onstar service, which could have also been used to track him.  I wonder why the family couldn't have agreed to immediately begin service, allowing Onstar to flip an activation switch and then find him?  It obviously doesn't work like that, but it should.

How come we have drones flying at 30,000 feet that can identify a particular terrorist among thousands of other people, our NSA can identify a particular phone conversation anywhere in the world, there are cameras on every corner that can be pulled up to review every crime scene, and yet we can't find a missing person cruising aimlessly down a state highway in North Texas?

I guess the thing to take away from this is every elderly person should have at least a cell phone with them at all times so they can call for help, or in reverse help can find them.

S

Beware of things labeled "old fashioned". They're NOT!

Big Day #1 has come and gone, and Big Day #2 (chronologically speaking) is still nearly a month away. I think by then I will have recovered from the trauma of eating "old fashioned cornbread dressing" from....well, in the spirit of the season I won't embarrass them by mentioning Central Market's name. 

Our Thanksgiving get-together was a very nice affair at the home of my in-laws.  For age and health reasons they don't travel well, so we all go to them and have our traditional meal there.  

I say "traditional", but honestly, over the years we've slowly integrated many store-bought food items into our feast.  First it was a pie or two, then a "dip sampler" tray, followed by (occasionally) a Honey Baked Ham.

I think 2013 was the year everyone just threw in the towel and said, "everything online, baby!"  Mr & Mrs M ordered a very good smoked turkey and a side dish, K's sis brought more side dishes and some sort of an apple bundt cake dessert, while we brought from Central Market one of their afore mentioned dip samplers, a sweet potato casserole, 2 varieties of dressing (what you people the other side of the Mason/Dixon line call "stuffing"), and a chess pie.

It was all very good, with one glaring exception:  the dish labeled "old fashioned cornbread dressing", traditionally my favorite side dish of them all.  For starters, there are no kernels corn in old fashioned cornbread dressing, or chunks of some unidentifiable red stuff.  Or croutons.  Or leaves.  Everyone tasted it, kind of gave up a sick smile, but did in the interest of politeness refrain from slipping it into their napkin.

I'm thinking, when the Central Market manager told their chef to make a big batch of "old fashioned cornbread dressing", he should have made sure the chef was from this side of one of those big ponds that separates us from those who eat....umm....THAT stuff.  Having a working knowledge of what cornbread consists of would be a definite plus, too.  

All things considered, it was a wonderful meal and a great time with her family, but next year, I'M in charge of acquiring the cornbread dressing.  :)

Lesson learned....when something is labeled "old fashioned", "home cooked", or "just like mom used to make"....RUN!  Run fast, run far.  Those seem to be the code words for "we don't have a clue."

S

A lot to be thankful for....

Every day is a day of thanksgiving when you have a wonderful wife, great daughters and grandkids and SIL's....all healthy....a comfortable, warm, dry place to live, more than enough food to eat, and a TV to watch football on.  And for those who don't have these things, I pray you soon will.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.  :)

S

He has big brass ones, I'll give him that!

So Afghanistan's #1 shakedown artist, El Presidente Humid Carbide, wants the US to jump through hoops, kiss his ass, and empty our pockets into his collection plate or he won't allow us to keep US troops in his beautiful Club Med of a country much longer.  His Committee of Elders says we can stay, so long as we bring more truckloads of money.

Meanwhile President Brick O'bama wants the US to keep 10,000-12,000 troops there for years to come.

What's wrong with this picture?

S

Hi....I'm from the government and I'm here to help

This really has me worked up:  Yesterday my friend Joan Perry posted on Facebook how National Flood Insurance Program reform is causing flood insurance rates to go through the roof in her hometown of Charleston, SC, and probably many other places, too.  I mean rates so high people can't sell their homes and many may actually lose them to the banks.

Briefly, homeowners insurance does NOT cover loss due to flooding.  For that the federal government set up an insurance program available at subsidized rates for those living in coastal areas or other low-lying places.  But after hurricanes Katrina and Sandy the insurance fund is flat busted broke.  Congress passed reforms for the program that were meant to build up reserves again, but as usual, they've just f__ked things up royally.

A newspaper article reported one couple who had planned to sell their home for $349K and downsize, using the surplus to fund their retirement.  But then they found that their flood insurance premium has gone up 1,367% to $22,000 a year.  One quote was $38,000!  Now their home is worth exactly $0 as no one in their right mind will buy it.  One of Joan's commentors said her premium went from $1,200 to $8,000.  Joan's premium on her modest home more than doubled.

If the government wants to eliminate the subsidies, that's one thing.  You do it in increments over a few years time, NOT all in one massive blow.  How many people can afford to have their house payment (principle, interest, taxes, and insurance) go up $2,000 a month?  

Lenders understandably require flood insurance to protect their collateral, but if the owners can't afford it, and if they can't sell, do they just let their homes go back to the bank?

This is what happens when the government tries to directly run an insurance program.  Do they invest their excess premium income in times of low losses to build up their reserves like real insurance companies do?  Do they buy re-insurance (to spread the risk) like real insurance companies do?  I doubt they have that much business sense.

Congress....where do we get these morons?  And "the people" get screwed again.

S

Insanity by a thousand "dings"

If I believed in ghosts I'd swear my world was haunted.  A thousand times a day, out of nowhere, I'll hear "ding".  They come at all hours, usually solo, sometimes in pairs, and always at irregular intervals. The really frustrating part is, I can't find where they're coming from.  Grrrrr!

I've pretty much ruled out the doorbell "ding" because our apartment doesn't have a doorbell, but just a knocker.  And I've checked the timer on both the microwave and that other big hot-box thing under the cooktop.  The elevator down the hall makes a "ding" when it arrives at our floor, but it is much louder than the faint "ding" I'm talking about here.

It's aggravating the same way a smoke detector is when it's battery goes dead.  Except that's always, always at 3 am, and it goes "chirp", not "ding".  But nowadays with 6 or 8 smoke detectors in every home, finding the culprit is a hair-pulling exercise.  I've even changed ALL the batteries at the same time, figuring that would absolutely shut the damn things up.  But as it turns out, sometimes those things just go bad for no apparent reason and need to be replaced. *sigh*

In our humble abode we have two computers (his 'n hers), two iPads (his 'n hers), and two smartphones (his 'n hers), plus "her" has a couple of other electronic gizmos that might also make noises, too, I'm not sure.   But right now, my guess is it's one of those contraptions.

But why would it "ding"?  To notify me of something?  But what?  Wouldn't there be some sort of announcement on the screen?  To tell me there's some new blog post or Facebook entry or email ready to read?  Those things come and go all day long, and I get many more of those than I hear "dings".

Me and Luke out for a stroll.

Maybe I'm the unwilling participant in some sort of psychology experiment to find out "how many unexplained 'dings' does a man have to hear before he goes completely insane?"  In which case they've got the wrong guy.  Some say I passed that milestone years ago.  ;)

S

A really REALLY bad idea....

And you thought YOUR son-in-law was a dud!*  It seems a 25-year-old woman named "Star"....just Star....claims she and the notorious 79-year-old mass murderer Charles Manson will soon be tying the knot.  "Hey, mom and dad....guess who's coming for dinner?"

Manson apparently sees things a bit differently, saying, "Who?"

I understand the FAA is considering....considering....letting people make cell phone calls from aircraft flying above 10,000 feet.  As if chatty seat mates and crying kids aren't bad enough, now we might have to listen to people yap gate to gate?  NOoooooooo!

I wonder who got fired for this one?:  A bank in Oklahoma City sponsored a promotion whereby a lucky fan at their NBA Oklahoma City....umm....Kemo Sabe's (?) could win $20,000 if they sank a half-court shot at halftime.  Two fans did it just this week....five so far this season.  "I told you we should have just given out those little red windshield ice scrapers with our name on them."

And finally, "Why don't we stop and visit with that semi-homeless looking self-professed Kennedy assassination expert over there on the grassy knoll?  Why does he have that stack of $2 newspaper reprints  labeled 'Today Only....$20'?  He does seem to have quite a captive audience [backed into a corner].  Oh come on....what can it hurt?"

Have a great weekend everyone!  Stay warm.

S

*  Not mine.  Mine are super-great guys!  :)

The Bird In A Box

Here's a question for you....I should preface this by saying you Americans who observe Thanksgiving:  Do you cook your own big bird feast or do you buy it pre-cooked or dine out? 

Everyone seems to hold on to the nostalgic vision of the Thanksgiving meal as presented by Norman Rockwell.  Days and days of shopping, cooking, baking, etc, leading up to the presentation and ceremonial carving of the turkey before the assembled family.  But is that really accurate anymore?

I ask this because I'm wondering if we here in Dallas celebrate Thanksgiving the same as people everywhere else or are we an aberration?  It's well known that very few people in Dallas ever cook.  

Restaurateurs I know tell me it's true that Dallas has four-times as many restaurants per capita as New York City.  I don't know if we're too busy or too lazy, but we just seem to prefer to graze for food away from home.

Yesterday I received an urgent text from K asking me to call Central Market and place our Thanksgiving order.  It seems K and her sister threw in the towel and decided it would just be better for all (not to mention easier) if we got The Bird In A Box from CM, then took it to their parents house. 

This is all perfectly OK with me as I come from a long line of the cooking challenged, K excluded, of course.  Besides, I never could justify in my mind the days and days of planning and cooking when the meal itself is over with in 30 minutes.  And The Bird In A Box is really very good.  :)

So, do you cook, or do you import?

S

One for you, and a thousand for me, one for you, and a....

I saw on the news that JP Morgan Chase has finalized a deal to cough up $13,000,000,000 to put to bed all the claims against them for mortgage securities fraud.  A couple of those Bil will go to aggrieved homeowners.  "So we're good now, right?"

Really?  If I was a gambling man, I'd bet that John D(umb) Homeowner will see maybe a penny on the dollar if he's lucky.

I remember a few years ago I received a letter saying I was automatically included in a class-action lawsuit against Mastercard (?) over some sort of illegal fees they charged travelers using their cards while overseas. What ever.

Sure enough, a year later I opened my mail to find a settlement check....in the amount of $.18.  That's eighteen CENTS.  The lawyers got all the rest.  Surprised?  And as I recall, just to piss 'em off, I actually CASHED the check.  Ha!  Take that!  :)

S

Those crazy Brits seem to get all the best news stories....

I've really got to hand it to the Brits....they have a 'nose' for finding REAL news stories.  While US journalists are following up on silly stories about Secret Service agents who can't keep their pants on, the BBC gets the scoop on hard-hitting stories like this:

Red Square Naked Man Faces Charges

A naked performance artist who nailed his scrotum to Red Square as a political protest may face up to five years in prison.

Or this:

An al-Qaeda affiliated rebel group in Syria is reported to have asked for forgiveness after beheading a fellow rebel (L) in a case of mistaken identity.

And not far behind are the German media.  Today they featured a story titled, Five Reasons Stupid People Make More Money Than You.

1.  Beginning life with a healthy trust fund opens lots of doors, even for idiots.  ESPECIALLY for idiots.

2.  Beautiful, tall people will make $230,000 more during their working life.

3.  Men who score low on the "agreeableness" scale make 18% more than their more pleasant colleagues.  (Five percent more for snarky women.)

4.  "Brown nosers" win big.

and 5.  God apparently loves really stupid people judging by the way He bestows excessive "luck" on them.

So today I've learned I apparently come from the loins of indentured servants, am uglier (and shorter) than Danny Devito, am far too nice, have no concept of "sucking up", and couldn't hit the floor if I fell off a barstool.

  

Now that right there is some damn fine journalism.  It explains a lot.  ;)

S

I need a gift certificate to the $6,000,000 Man's parts bin....

Remember the TV show The Six Million Dollar Man?  It was about a guy who was almost killed in a horrible crash, but was rebuilt with artificial body parts.  I need about an hour to scrounge through their parts bin.

A couple weeks ago I had a painful inflammatory problem with my right foot, so my doctor gave me Admenntieosnfkeongweojnsdoiekns (sp?), which fixed me right up.  But now I found out it's giving me an ulcer.  WTH??

The stuff deemed "the best" inflammatory med is also one of "the worst" for my gut.  Side effects suck.  Oh well, I now have my friend / client / gastroenterologist "on ze case".  

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Have you heard of the social media site called Snapchat?  Apparently it enables you to take a picture, send it to a friend where he/she can view it, and then it promptly disappears.  Pfffftt....gone, sort of a 21st Century flash paper like they used on Mission Impossible.

It seems the two 20-something-year-old guys working out of a beach bungalow in Venice Beach, CA who own it HAVE TURNED DOWN FACEBOOK'S $3 BILLION OFFER TO BUY THEM OUT.  They turned DOWN three BILLION dollars!

I would have been strolling the grounds of my Lake Como estate by now.  But that's just me.  :)

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This makes me feel really good....

There was a photo gallery in this morning's online news showing our US military bringing in food/water/meds/supplies to the Philippines as fast as their planes can land.  I only hope the rest of the First World is doing their part, too, to lend a hand.  

I see the suffering there and realize how insignificant my silly swollen foot issue is.  Maybe I'd better just shut up and be grateful for whatever comes my way.

Have a good day everyone.  :)

S

My "man" adventure at the grocery store

I've become pretty confident maneuvering my way around grocery stores.  Years ago my ex gave me a choice:  I could stay home on Saturday mornings with the kids while she did the shopping, or I could take the list and go do it myself.  Poopie diapers, throw up, the screaming (THEM, not me)....it was a no brainer.

Since then I've learned how to make a chart of every section in the store and where everything is (and I keep it updated when they try to trick us shoppers and re-arrange things) and I keep an itemized list of my most commonly purchased things on a computerized checklist.   (Don't get excited, it's just on WORD....I'm still a techie Neanderthal).  Today I think I have things pretty well refined.

But....

As a worthy sequel to The Great Cream Cheese Incident of '82*, K got me good yesterday.

I came back in from being taken on a walk by Luke the Wonder Dog and found the TV was left on one of those (Italian) cooking shows.  The power of suggestion being what it is, I WANTED SPAGHETTI.  I mean the good stuff, the kind K makes.  Only she was working, and I was here doing....well....not much.  My mission was clear!

She emailed me her receipe and instructions and I hit the road.  Buying the meat, the sausage, the onions and garlic, a bottle of wine, and some little cans of tomato stuff was no problem.  Then I hit the wall.

Her list said I needed something called "Italian seasoning salt".

Italian seasoning is that powdered stuff you mix with oil to make salad dressing, right?  Umm....or maybe it's some fancy kind of salt, like from a salt mine in Italy?  OK, try this:  It comes in those little bottles on the "spice" aisle?  The poor little zit-faced kid stocking shelves was no help at all.  After running in circles for half an hour I finally had to break down and do it....call K.

"You're making stuff up.  There's no such thing as 'Italian seasoning salt'.  I have torn this place UP!  This is NOT funny!  You're being mean to me!"  :(

"No, silly," she said.  "Read it again.  It says, 'Italian seasoning' COMMA 'salt'."

Today....I cook.

S

*  "The Great Cream Cheese Incident of '82":  I was sent to the store with instructions to buy "18 oz" of Philadelphia Cream Cheese.  But it only comes in 4 oz and 8 oz blocks.  No combination equals 18 oz.  DUH!  THAT was a half hour of my life I'll never get back!  (What she wanted was 1-8 oz block of Philly Cheese.  Who knew?)

Yin and Yang

Do you ever think about life's yin-yang?  That's an old Chinese philosophy used to describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world.  Like light and dark, or life and death, or pizza and beer.  Well, 2 out of 3....

Being a bit introspective this morning (at least as introspective as my oddness will allow), I was thinking about how every single person I've known who has had more than a few candles on his birthday cake has had serious yin-yang life experiences.  

I remember a friend from my childhood who came from a very comfortable family, had pretty much every material thing he wanted, was smart, had no trouble in school, had his own great family, career....then crashed when he had life threatening kidney disease resulting in a transplant.  I don't even know if he's still alive today.

For myself, I've had some great times, some decidedly NOT so great times, some sky-high and some wagon-rut low career experiences, too.  I've had some skin cancer, but it was no biggie, and all is well today.  Yin-yang.

My point is, we're not islands.  People who are whole and healthy need to be helpers and "pay forward", because odds are the day will come when they, too, will need help.  It works both ways.

Proof?  I just heard on the news a civilian sailboat off the coast of North Carolina recently found itself in trouble and had to call for help.  Their rescuers?  The USS Cole (the same ship attacked by Mid-east terrorists back in 2000).  

Just think about that for a minute.

S

Happy Veteran's Day!

Thank a veteran today.  Thank a veteran EVERY day.  :)

S

Weekend's ROCK!

My, how time flies when you're having fun. 

Today it's a cool, cloudy, very quiet early Sunday morning in 'da hood....

....but yesterday we took Luke the Wonder Dog to Clyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas, a first for him.

There were sights and sounds and smells (and tastes) he'd never experienced before.  I think he enjoyed himself.

We had a great selection of food trucks to choose from:  I ate off The Butcher's Son....2 brisket/jalapeno, 1 cluck fillet sliders....sorry, too good to stop and take pictures of, while K had a Ruben grilled cheese off another "roach coach".  (Not really, they're super clean!)  For the record, Luke preferred my brisket. 

We wore Luke out!  On the way home he curled up in K's lap and passed out.  Back home I gave him a bath as he was overdue anyway, plus being on the streets of downtown Dallas.... 

I even gave K a haircut (yes, another skill set on my resume) and sent her to the showers, too.  Then I hosed myself down also and settled in to an evening of college football.  :)

Today it's Starbucks for a coffee and a read, then a trip to *gulp* Toys R Us to do the grand-kidlette's Christmas shopping.  Better now than DECEMBER 10th, right?  I think there's a small art show somewhere, too.  I'll have to Sherlock Holmes that.

But my sacrifice will all be rewarded when this evening I'll grill us some beautiful prime steak fillets I purchased from David's Meats yesterday.  Good times!

S

Investment advice....5 cents. Hurry, this deal won't last long.

How's this for some twisted logic:  The CEO of Germany's Deutsche Bank is telling his corporate customers that they should prepare to look elsewhere to borrow money to grow their businesses.  

He says his bank, like all European banks, are being told by the wacko regulators they have to put more money in reserve TO COVER LOSSES DUE TO BAD LOANS they've made.  (This means they need to put a pot of money off to the side to cover the stupid high risk/high profit potential loans they've made that didn't pan out, money that now won't be available to loan out to customers.)

So it's the banking regulator's fault business loans will now be harder to get?

Ummm....try this Mr. Greedy Banker:  Only make loans to quality, credit worthy customers.  Then you wouldn't have all those horrible losses.  Greece is/was NOT a quality, credit worthy customer.  Nor was Ireland, or Italy, or Portugal.  (Of course then you wouldn't have your whopping big bonus either.  Ohhhh....now I get it!)  

As for my own investment strategy, I'm playing it safe.  I've put everything I have into Gallagher's Sledge-O-Matic, becoming the exclusive North American distributor for his fantastic "slicing / dicing / cuts Julianne fries but you gotta hit  that sum bitch juuuuust right" miracle kitchen device. 

Cha-ching!

S

Lucy, 'splain it to me....lesson 47

I need a lesson in business / labor relations....somebody help me out here, please.  Congress couldn't put together a budget or agree to raise the deficit ceiling, so they sent 40% of all federal government workers (those considered non-essential) home for 16 days.  Some said the idea was to save taxpayers money ($2 Billion) and curtail government.  Then they worked out a deal, brought everybody back to work....AND ARE GIVING THEM FULL BACK PAY?

So government workers were given an additional 16 days vacation....time off WITH pay?  Am I understanding this correctly?  Is this how things normally work after an employer lock-out, which is essentially what this was, right?

The American Federation of Government Employees thinks it's fair since they've already been hit with a three-year pay freeze and given no more "increases" to their retirement contributions.  "Employees are frustrated at being made the sacrificial lamb of deficit reduction....the federal government is becoming a less attractive employer."

Like they don't already have a cushy deal now?



* NOTE:  The private sector pay chart above is already skewed by outsized pay for corporate executives / CEO's, sports stars, rock stars, etc.

Numerous studies have shown that federal workers already get 25-33% MORE in pay / benefits than workers in the private sector doing comparable work. I don't see bringing their pay package more in line over time WITH THE WORKERS WHO PAY THEM is being unreasonable.   I'm not suggesting they deserve anything less, but just comparable. 

OK, there's my conservative thought for the day.  Now to appease my more liberal friends:

While we need to be very careful to not step over the social safety net fiscal make / break line*, I do think taxpayers are looking to save money in the wrong places.  They're all upset about the costs involved with ObamaCare, and considering how the government mucks up most everything else it touches, I'm not so sure it's the way to go, either.  But still, I do firmly believe in some sort of "universal health care".

Let's be pragmatic here.  Yes, it will be a huge weight off all our shoulders to know that if we are sick or injured we can all receive quality health care without going bankrupt.  And obviously they can't just give it away....we must somehow pay for it.  

But think about how much more competitive this will make us in the new world economy.  A healthier, stronger work force....mentally, emotionally, and physically....is bound to contribute significantly to our national bottom line.  I just don't see how it couldn't.  Instead of trying to tear apart the idea, why not work together to find a way that can make it work?

IMO, not all conservative ideas are bad, nor are all liberal ideas bad.  We should calmly, logically consider them all.

* There is an interesting article in the NYT today highlighting the crushing burden on the French of their cradle-to-grave social programs and how it is busting their national budget.  

OK, rip me.

S

And you thought YOU were having a bad day....

The Pakistani Taliban ruling council has chosen this man ^, Mullah Fazlullah, as their new leader.  This came after their previous leader, Hakimullah Mehsud, was killed in an American drone strike, as was the guy before him, and the guy before him, too.  Minutes of the ruling council meeting were obtained by the BBC and show that Mr. Fazlullah was the only member missing from their monthly business meeting and goat roast luncheon.

After he was tracked down and given the news of his election, he was reported to have said, "THANKS A LOT MOTHER F__KERS!"  *Oh yeah....Allahu Akbar*

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And it may not be such a good time to be a Tea Party member, either.  Today's headline read, "GOP Weighs Limiting Clout of Right Wing".  It goes on to say, "Leaders of the Republican establishment are pushing their party to rethink how it chooses nominees and advocating changes they say would result in less extreme contenders."  

They want open primaries instead of state caucuses or conventions, which they say can be more easily hijacked by extremists.  Seems they realize the Tea Party is a long term losing cause for them. 

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And finally, the Big get bigger:  Amazon is reaching out to small independent bookstores with a joint marketing scheme.  Amazon wants them to sell it's Kindle eReaders, and in return the stores can then also get a cut of whatever Amazon makes selling books to these new Kindle owners (for 2 years).  Seems Amazon isn't selling as many new Kindles as they would like since both Target and Walmart stopped carrying them.  Win-win?

I have mixed emotions about this one.  I'm a big fan of Amazon, and buy lots of stuff from them, including both books and ebooks.  They're cheaper, and they come right to my door with free shipping (preferred customer thing).  But I still go to the local bookstore and look around there, too. I would hate to see them all go out of business.  

Is this Amazon offer a way to keep the small locals alive, or just a way to put a few more nails in their coffin? 

Who knows.  All I know is I have a load of groceries waiting to be bought.  Gotta go.  :)

S

Back in the saddle again....

Looks like I'm in good company at least. 

It seems the last few days I've been afflicted with the "Disease of Kings", aka gout.  My right foot / big toe started hurting like hell, as if I dropped a 50 pound weight on it, except without all the black and blue.  The doc diagnosed it and gave me some meds, and I'm much better now.

In the olden days it was usually royalty that had gout, mainly because they were the only ones who could afford red meat and alcohol, two of the prime culprits that cause gout.  But in my case, however, it seems the problem is Coca Cola's.  

My red meat and alcohol intake are very modest....a few beers or glasses of wine a week, depending on what is served for dinner, and the same for my red meat consumption....but I buy and drink Cokes by the case.  And a check on the World Wide Web says that "high fructose sweetened drinks" are bad, bad, bad for causing gout.  Looks like it's adios, my good canned buddies.  :(

Wonder if this means I'll have to stop wearing my crown, too?  (Just as well.  Most of the little rhinestones have already fallen out.)

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As you all know, I'm a news junkie.  Some of what I take away is very serious stuff, but some is just comical, to wit:

The NYT headline read:  "After Outside Pressure, Rebels in Congo Lay Down Their Arms".

Ummm....it looks to me like their arms decided to just lay down and surrender all by themselves.  I'm guessing the term "maintenance" doesn't translate into Congolese.

And the BBC is reporting a new warning put out by the UN that says our output of atmospheric clogging "stuff" is again setting records.  They go on to say much of this is due to the well known problem of cattle flatulence. (That's a $3 term for cow farts.)  

As anyone who has driven anywhere even close to a West Texas cattle feedlot will testify, it's a serious problem for sure.  So why hasn't someone thought of just producing a heavy-duty version of Beano for bovines?  

And the same article says that much of the global emission of greenhouse gasses is due to he way farmers in may parts of the world improperly plough their land, citing this photo ^ as an example.

Just thinking out loud here....instead of just throwing out billions of dollars in foreign aid money around the world to see it siphoned off by the corrupt dictators and generals, why don't we just start sending them boat loads of John Deere's and Massey Ferguson's?  Jobs for us, more food for them, cleaner air for us all.  DUH!  This ain't rocket surgery, people!

See, I've already fixed our global warming problem, and it isn't even noon yet.  (Note to Nobel committee:  That's Scott with two "T"s  :)

S