Which came first....Mr. T or the t-shirt?

Isn't it ironic that the one thing I can do well, I mean really world-class-well, is tie a necktie?  Why couldn't it be picking winning lottery numbers, or collecting hot women's hotel room keys a la James Bond?  (Disclaimer:  This would have been long before K, of course.)

Yesterday I was asked to do something I haven't been asked to do in 40+ years;  a total stranger stopped me on the street and asked if I knew how to tie a necktie.  I said yes, and he whipped one out and asked me to please help him out.  So I put it around my neck, round / round / tuck / pull, and there it was.  I loosened it, slipped it over my head, handed it to him, and off he ran.  I didn't even have time to ask him what this was all about.

Several light years ago, back when I was in college, I was the go-to guy for half the guys in my dorm who needed a tie tied.  Starting mid-afternoon on Saturday's guys would come to me one after another, waiting sometimes two or three deep, for me to tie their necktie, which they were sure would help them "round the bases" later in the evening.

The irony of all this is I absolutely HATE to wear a necktie myself.  I will lie, cheat, or fake appendicitis to avoid going to a wedding or a funeral, the only two occasions that in my mind still require a necktie.  In retirement I'm down to one suit and one sports coat, and two ties....one for marryin' and one for buryin'.   (At my age the buryin' one is now inching ahead in use.)

DAMN THOSE CROATIANS!

As I see it the guy who invented the necktie is in a sprint straight to hell with the guy who invented the business suit.  I live in Texas....it's 110 degrees....and I'm supposed to button my top shirt button, cinch a tie tight around my neck, and put on A COAT?  Does this make any sense at all?

After a little research I found that it was Croatian mercenaries fighting for the French in the Thirty Years War (1618-1648) who were first seen wearing knotted kerchiefs around their necks to denote their regimental affiliation.  And of course the French, being the little sissies they were (are?) thought it looked cool and made it fashionable.  Damn them all!

Today my wardrobe, courtesy of LL Bean, looks more like this.

I figure I started out life wearing a little "onesie" t-shirt, and I'll go out wearing a slightly larger XL t-shirt.  As God intended it.  :)

Happy weekend everyone!

S

No wonder people laugh at France....

....French people talk funny.

Week two of French lessons and it's kicking my argot.  Actually I can read the words and understand what they mean.  I can usually get the gender, tense, etc right, too.  It's when it gives me a verbal sentence to translate that I lose it.  To me it sounds like ellefillegarconcahtnoirettubrutesontsomme when it's said in .003 seconds.  

Hold on there Kemo Sabe....S L O W   D O W N.  "Es" and "est" both sound the same to me when spoken at warp speed.  What happened to the "t" sound?   If France is supposed to be such a laid back place, why do they talk so damn fast? 

I'm thinking about speaking in English and then just wrapping it in a faux-French accent.  Have you ever noticed how all mimes are French?  You know why that is?  Because learning French kicked their argot, too.

Seriously, I'm committed to learning this.  I've always wanted to learn another language.  I'm thinking it will keep my mind....oh look....I Love Lucy is on.

The British on the other hand, despite their outwardly stodgy image, seem to know how to have a good time.

Reading the announcement of the new Royal Baby, Prince Elmo

An English judge

The famous Beefeaters

It looks to me like the whole country is just one giant costume party.

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K is taking a few days off work, so today we're going to visit the new George Dubya Bush Library on the SMU campus in Dallas.  Photos to follow.

Have a good day everyone.  Stay cool.

S

I'm gonna need one of those funny hats

I've been wanting to learn a foreign language for some time now.  A friend told me recently when he was preparing for graduate school he began learning Japanese because he thought learning another language would sharpen his mind.  As he is very successful today I'm guessing he might have been right.

But which language?  Spanish should be the logical choice as there are Spanish speakers everywhere here.  To me, though, it's just not a very pretty language to listen to.  I took it in college and after two years mastered little more than ordering eggs and beer and hurling various assorted familial insults.

I narrowed it down to German, Italian, and French.  Since K had several years of French in school and could probably help me, it's the one I chose.  For now I'm using an online app, but if I steadily progress and stick with it I'm going to invest in a Rosetta Stone*.  (A good luck charm wouldn't hurt, either.)  After 4 days I already know that French boys eat red apples and French women are rich. 

I'm pumped!  At this rate I'll be speaking like a regular Frenchie before you know it.  I can already feel my mind being honed to a razor's edge.  Y'all better stand back.  ;)

S

*Anyone have any experience with Rosetta Stone?  One to five, how many stars?

Maybe I've been too hard on the French

Ever since The Great War it's been pretty easy....fashionable even....to poke fun at the French.  Example:

TV NEWS:  "Today it was announced that the French will be sending a battalion of troops to join the coalition fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan."

ME:  "Umm....could they just donate a hundred bucks instead?"

But today I read that a "Parisian archive" (whatever that is) has brought in four of these rather shaggy looking sheep to eat the grass on the grounds of the archive (whatever that is).  They're obviously trying to go Green and mothball their lawn mowers, letting the sheep graze to their heart's content instead.

Bravo Parisian archive!  (Whatever that is.)  Credit where credit is due.

Homeowners of America....UNITE!  Let's follow the lead of this innovative Parisian archive (whatever that is) and ditch our lawnmowers.  Just think how much more pleasant our weekends would be if we just left the lawn mowing to the sheep?  And the fertilizing, too.  Screw the HOA!  They want Green?  Let's give 'em Green!

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OK, one last dig at the French. (Old habits die hard.)

It seems that back during one of the many Anglo-French Wars the French captured a British officer.  During his interrogation the French asked him why the British always wore red uniforms?

The British officer explained that if he were to be wounded in battle his blood wouldn't show on his uniform and his men wouldn't become demoralized.

The French realized what a morale-boosting idea this was and that is why, to this very day, French officers wear brown pants.  ;)

Now you know.  Have a great weekend everyone.

S