A confession I am NOT proud of....

So this morning, as is my custom, I settled in to the....umm...."library" and carefully chose my reading material.  Too late I realized I had already read all the words off of every page.  DOH!  

Then, I must confess, I did something that I'm not at all proud of.  I....I....*gulp* I picked up one of K's ladies magazines and took a peek inside.  There.  I said it.  *Bye-bye Man Card*

It was More magazine, which based on my quick peek inside was short for More Ads, because that's what was in there.  More Ads to look at than anything to actually read.

But among the few articles was one that was really pretty interesting.  It was by Linda Yellin and titled "When did kale get a publicist?"  She wrote that she went to the store to buy a bag of potato chips and instead found an entire section of kale chips.  

And not just plain vanilla kale chips, but in flavors like Bombay curry, zesty nacho, and one scary-sounding variety called mango habanero.

Now please keep in mind that I was born and (mostly) raised in Texas when I ask, "What the #%&* is kale?"  The only "kale" I know spelled it with a "C", and he was an old-school NASCAR driver.  (All hearsay, of course.  I'm not into NASCAR.)

I used to kill stuff growing wild in my yard that looked more appetizing than this.

Even the author said she never ate it because "it's hard to wash and tastes like rubber."  (So was kale the inspiration for Gummy Bears?)  Up until now I always thought the parsley growers had the best PR guy in the business, but now I'm thinking this kale guy has him beat.

Think about it:  With parsley, that little green weed-looking thing restaurants put on your plate so they can get a few "presentation points", all you do is look at it, then immediately knock it off your plate carefully set it off to the side.  

With kale, their smooth-talking PR guy actually gets you to put it in your mouth and chew it (and chew and chew and chew if Ms. Yellin's description is accurate) and eventually swallow it.  

He's GOOD!  But as I see it, any vegetable that needs its own PR guy must be a real loser.  

Like the author said, back in her day (and my day) your mama would slap down a plate of meatloaf and say, "Eat it!"  The food we ate back then didn't need a fancy PR guy.  Just an "enforcer".  :)

S

You can't bullshit an old bullshitter

The world's toughest job?  Being the public relations guy for a bank.  This was a tiny little article in today's paper:

Greece offered universal health coverage until an agreement with its international lenders (banks) stipulated the unemployed must pay for their own treatment.

Isn't this just bringing the unemployed into line with the banking policy of charging customers a hefty fee for bouncing a check?  They're just charging you more of what they already know you don't have any of.  Duh!

A close second might be the PR guy representing Foxconn, the huge Chinese electronics contractor who employs hundreds of thousands of low-wage workers to assemble iPads for Apple.  (Their motto...."The beatings will continue until morale improves.") 

"They actually like working 18 hour days, on account of there isn't anything to do back in the dorm with their 250 roommates."

The Feds are suing Bank of America, accusing them of making home loans without ever even checking borrower credentials, a policy known mockingly within the company as "the Hustle".  They then sold the loans to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, where they mostly went straight into default.  

The taxpayers had to assume the loss when Fannie and Freddie failed, and now the Feds are going back on B of A.  How might the bank's PR guy possibly spin this?  "Ahh....umm....the Hustle?....that was just a dance contest we had on casual Friday's, that's all.  We're good."

Another tough one....the PR guy for bankrupt American Airlines.  "If we don't give big bonuses to our senior executives we'll lose our top talent to our competitors."  

Dude, you're BANKRUPT.  You don't HAVE any top talent.  That's why you're BANKRUPT!

You can't bullshit an old bullshitter.  ;)

S