Showing posts with label bent banana law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bent banana law. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Public Enemy No. 1....yep, that's me!


Last week K bought a new, comfy upholstered chair.  One afternoon I was sitting in my chair reading and out of the corner of my eye I saw one of those little white tags showing underneath her new ottoman.  You know, the ones that certify that the stuffing in the chair meets all fire safety standards, etc, then goes on to say "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW".

Being just slightly OCD I couldn't read for looking at that damn label.  It was just taunting me, I swear.  I couldn't help my bad self....I flipped the ottoman over, whipped out my trusty pocket knife, and cut it off.

Within seconds there was a rather forceful knock at my door.  I thought, "Holy crap!  There really IS a Label Police!"  Should I try and make a run for it?  Plea bargain?  Is it true I only get one phone call?  So who should it be to?  K?  A lawyer?  My 63 year clean record, pffffft...gone...over a label!  DOH!

I had visions of being Bubba's girlfriend in The Big House.

Turns out it was just the UPS guy.  *whew*

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True....ridiculous, but true:  The European Union has a rule, EC2257/94, that regulates the allowable curvature of elongated produce such as bananas and cucumbers.  It says that to be graded Class 1 it must be "practically straight and bent by no more than a gradient of 1/10."  

So is there a Banana/Cucumber Police that goes from farmers market to farmers market looking for bent produce?  Do they have Department of Bananas specialists and  Department of Cucumbers specialists?


Do they have special identifying uniforms?

Is this all they have to do in Europe....put people on the government payroll to go around policing rules like EC2257/94?   

Bureaucracy at its finest.  I wonder if they got the idea from our Label Police or if we got ours from their Banana/Cucumber Police?  Either way I can't believe such rules exist for me to write about in a blog post.  

What a waste of time.  I'm pretty sure consumers can figure out that a banana that's tied in a knot isn't something they want to buy for their families.

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Speaking of a waste of time:  You've heard about the law passed by the Arizona Legislature that allows service to be denied to gays by those who are offended by homosexuality on religious grounds?  Why are they even bothering with such a law?

If the Governor signs it someone will simply trot across the street to the Federal Courthouse where a Federal Judge will immediately issue a restraining order and shortly thereafter declare it unconstitutional.  Duh!  Talk about chasing a windmill.

Is this what happens when politicians stop taking their medicine?

S