One down, two to go

Summer in Texas is a miserable, disgusting time of the year.  Anyone who disagrees has been out in it too long.  When you open the door first thing in the morning to step out to get the newspaper, for example, and you're immediately hit by a blast of air so hot and muggy your glasses fog up, it makes you want to just crank down the A/C and go back to bed.

This climate change thing has blindsided a lot of people this year.  Blizzards when they weren't supposed to, heat waves where we weren't supposed to, floods, freak sand storms....what's next?  But oddly enough, Dallas has so far had a fairly palatable summer.  We've had a few 100 degree days, but we've also had a few days that never even climbed into the 90's. 

This morning before 7 I took Luke the Wonderdog out for a long walk.  My weather app said the temp was 74 degrees, but a pretty stiff breeze made it feel like it was in the 60's.  And if the weatherguessers are to be believed, this will be one of those sub-90 degree days.  SWEET!

I'm not foolish enough to expect August and September to be like our July was, but at least I only have two more months of misery to endure before October relief arrives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like lists.  Not "To Do" lists, but lists of fun things.  Like today on Yahoo news, for example, it had a list of the 10 coolest summer cities (we're talking temperatures), and also the 10 hottest.  

Two of the top 10 coolest are among my personal favorite cities, too:  Seattle and Denver.  Seattle because of its uniqueness and Denver because it's just a short drive (by Texas standards) to the mountains.  THE mountains.  THE ROCKY mountains.  I love THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS.  *insert little tiny heart shape symbol here*

My new address when I win the lottery

No surprise, 4 of the top 10 hottest summer cities were in Texas, Dallas being #3.  What's that old saying?...."I've got a spot in heaven guaranteed 'cause I've already done my time in hell."

Carry on and stay cool.

S

So, how do you like summer so far, Scott?

We're only four days into summer and I've already had a near-death heat-related experience.

I spent 4 hours outside yesterday afternoon and thought I was gonna die.  I came home around 5 drenched in sweat and went straight to the shower.  I turned on the shower water and began to undress and realized I couldn't get my t-shirt off.  It was stuck to my back.

I wrestled with that damn thing for 10 minutes and finally got it up my back to my neck, and managed to get one arm half way out, when things went straight to hell.  My left arm was sticking half in and half out of its sleeve, my right arm was behind my head tugging for all I was worth to get get the t-shirt up and over my head, while my head was bent straight down on my chest.  I needed to get my head back up so some oxygen could make it into my lungs.  I couldn't move and I couldn't see because salty sweat was in my eyes.  I was in a helluva shape.

I figured I was either going to have to call for help, rip my t-shirt to shreds to get it off, or say "hey" to Jesus.  With hot water running out it was now or never.  One last try....and I was free!  The t-shirt was a bit stretched out, but I think it's salvageable.  

Then my underwear.  I couldn't just drop 'em and step out.  I had to roll the waistband down....it sounded like velcro pulling apart as it broke its grip on my sweaty butt.  (Not a pretty visual, is it?)

You know that story about Rip Van Winkle?  Is that even possible?  I don't want to sleep for 20 years, but I wouldn't mind hibernating in a cool place until, say, early October.

All things considered I guess it could be worse.  In addition to this #$%^&* heat and humidity, my brother is having a colonoscopy on Wednesday and a tooth extraction on Friday, and the reconstruction first step for a tooth implant.

Maybe I'd best count my blessings and just suffer in silence.

Here's to you, summer.  ;)

S

Making reservations for the 2024 Olympic Games

I hope they hold the 2024 Games somewhere cool* as I'll be there cheering on my grandson.  And by cool I mean "cool" as in "not hot".  By then I'll be older than dirt and I don't want to pay big bucks to travel half way around the world to sit there and sweat.  I can stay in Dallas and sweat for free!


Today my daughter sent me pictures of her son intently mimicking every Olympic event he sees on TV:

Volleyball...

tennis...

even fencing.

And yes, he does live in the back of Toys R Us, thank you for asking.

Maybe by then they'll bring back baseball as an Olympic event.  Right now at 3-years-old the little Slugger can hit a (plastic) baseball over the house.  And with a trampoline in his back yard, that's a possibility, too.

Move over Shaun White.  Make room for the new Olympic cereal stud.  ;)

S

*A quick check with the Weather Channel shows that today in Stockholm, Sweden (which coincidentally is the home of the Swedish Bikini Team) it will reach a high of 72 degrees.  72 in August....I could handle that.  Just sayin'.  ;)

Let the bitchin' begin

Our forecast for Dallas today was 97 degrees w/ a heat index of 105. I'm sure we comfortably hit those numbers. By late July I might be acclimated to this, but not this early. By late afternoon I felt nauseous. I've come to absolutely detest Texas from June through September. Hell itself could not be any less hospitable. Any of you yankees want to swap places for the next 4 months?


S

The latest "Texas" joke.....

June 20th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.  I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect ol' Mr. Sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a  shopping bag, then exploded like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Poop. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freakin' blow dryer! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $425,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car I thought my rear was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and rear. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a repeat recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this freakin' state? There's water rationing now, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me?  "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Texas....What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.


Hahaha!  Lotta truth here.  :)


S

This is NOT funny!

Today is likely the day that we'll begin to see planned rolling brownouts across Texas.  Unlike other areas of the country that have regional electric production/distribution systems that can shift power from one side of the grid to another in an emergency, Texas is so large it has it's own intra-state system.  And the whole damn state is HOT!


I walked the dog last night at 9 pm and it was still 104.  This morning at 6 am it was 88.  We've set all-time record high low (overnight) temperatures, too.  


We've also been setting electric consumption records (68,000 mega(?) watts) and we've been asked to use as little as possible.  Don't wash clothes in the afternoon when it's the hottest, don't use your ovens or cooktops, turn off lights, etc.  They've even brought back on-line several old mothballed electric generation plants, but it apparently isn't enough.  Now they're gonna turn off our air conditioners through rolling brownouts.


What?  No air conditioning?  OH, THE HORROR!


Somebody tell me again why I'm supposed to love summer?  I'm not feelin' it.


Whatever I did wrong, God, I'm sorry!  Pleeeeeeze.......


S

Hell in real time...+ EDIT

I'm not freakin' believing this:  Our weather forecast for today through next Saturday reads sunny and 107, 109, 109, 107, 107, and 106 respectively.  And this is just August 1.  We still have at least 6 more weeks of this.


Dallas must have the best Chamber of Commerce EVER to be able to talk people into moving here.  Personally I'm keeping my eye on Ft. Collins, Colorado.  Winters aren't too cold, summers aren't too hot.... :)


S


EDIT....It was officially 107 today, a new record high for this date, but on my car thermometer I recorded 115.  

Move over Lewis & Clark....

....make room for Scott & Kelly.  


Yesterday evening K and I took a class at REI Coop (an outdoors store) on map and compass reading.  Years ago I knew how to navigate by compass but over the years I've forgotten most of it.  We hope to be able to go back to Colorado next year and thought we'd try some hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, hence our new found interest in maps and compasses.  

Now if we get lost we can put our new skills to use....or use our iPhones to just call for help.  (Just doesn't sound as rugged, does it?)  


We have reservations to rent some kayaks this weekend and paddle around White Rock Lake.  They've actually rigged a portion of the Trinity River to include some rapids for recreational use, but I think we're a long way from being able to do that.  Baby steps first.


Tropical Storm Don is in the Gulf of Mexico and looks to eventually make landfall somewhere along the lower Texas coast.  While I certainly don't want to see anyone get hurt by it, some rain would be welcome.  We're bone dry here, some lakes so low you can't put a boat in, some further west totally dry.  This heat and drought is working its way to the very top of the record books.  I'm hoping the northern-most projected storm track, the one that comes closest to us, will be the correct one.


One day closer to the weekend.  Yea!


S

Beginning to feel 'beat down'

You know how you feel after you've finished all your chores?  Your work is done and you know you can relax and enjoy yourself for a while.  And then there's before you've done your chores....you look ahead and all you can see is work demanding your attention.  Ugh!


I feel like the latter.  I have one client who is wearing me pretty thin.  (My brother, too.)  He's a very nice guy, but he tries to micro-manage everything.  His new home is well in excess of $1M and of course I want to accommodate him, but it gets harder every day.  He admits he's OCD and apologizes and says he'll try to do better, but nothing changes.


In a different sense, everything changes....daily.  What he originally told us he wanted, and what we bid, in no way resembles what he wants today.  Or what he'll want tomorrow.  He's all over the board.  He can't make up his mind.  I'm just too organized for my own good sometimes.


And I'm sure this weather is taking it's toll on me, too.  I'm used to hot Texas summer weather, and if this were late August I could put up with it better knowing cooler weather would be here soon, but this is still mid-July.  I would love to have a cool, drizzly, lazy Saturday.  *sigh....maybe in 3 or 4 months*


On a brighter note, yesterday we were given the go-ahead by a new customer to begin a room addition project for them.  It's not a big job, but it is a job, and I'm grateful to have it.  :)


S

I honestly couldn't make this up

This is an "un-posed" picture of Elliot the bulldog trying to beat the Texas heat after his owners dumped out their ice chest on their driveway.  It was taken in Sachse, Texas, just a few miles from where I live:

Have a great weekend everyone.   Stay cool.  (Move over Elliot.)

S