She was in her element

My experience yesterday reminded me of the play I saw years ago called Defending the Caveman.  Basically it was just an amplification of the "men are hunters, women are gatherers" theme.  K could have been the female co-star....except it was a one-man show.

Yesterday K went to a department store for some clothes shopping.  What an eye opener!  I don't know how women do it.  How do they even know where to start to look for anything?

A man goes into a department store, he finds everything is all together on the second floor in the northeast corner.  He wants a suit, it's on the second floor, in the northeast corner.  He wants underwear, a belt, a shirt....it's on the second floor, in the northeast corner.  

A man goes in to buy a pair of pants, he goes straight to the second floor, northeast corner, buys his pants, and leaves.  Ten minutes, tops.

A woman goes into a department store, she finds the petite-casuals on the first floor, northwest corner.  Plus-size business attire, second floor, southwest corner.  Summerwear, scattered all over the first floor. Petite-business wear is on the first floor, south side of the building.  Eveningwear?  Try the second floor, behind the double doors, southwest corner.  Close out specials....first floor by the exit doors.  On and on....

*whew*

And once she buys what she went in for, SHE KEEPS SHOPPING FOR THE SAME THING SHE JUST BOUGHT!  Why?  She just bought it.  Go home.

Oooooooh no!   The game has just begun.  Now it's to the other end of the mall to start the same treasure hunt all over again, different store.  And of course she finds something she likes better than what she bought at the first store, which necessitates a return trip to the first store for the obligatory merchandise return.  Apparently a shopping trip isn't a success unless she returns something.  

So if the second store ALWAYS has something better than anything the first store has to offer, why not just make THAT the store you go to first? 

I know I could speed up the process by at least 60%, but when I try to offer my constructive criticism K calmly turns towards me, smiles, and says, "Look at you.  Now look at me.  Go wait in the car."

Yes dear.  :)

S

"Vegetarian"...Old Indian word for "bad hunter"

What is it about women and vegetables?  If a bunch of women get together for a girls night out I can almost guarantee you that, once they all go to the restroom together, most will come back and order plates full of vegetables.  Colorful vegetables.  They seem to have this obsession with green ones, and orange and yellow, too.  But mainly green.  It's something dietitians have harped on for years, but have you noticed....most dietitians are women.  Coincidence?

Women have attached some near-mythical status to spinach and carrots and squash and beets, veggies that most men see as having little redeeming social value.  Speaking for myself, and you can quote me on this, "Blech!" 

Like most men I'd rather spend my dining energy chewing on something that not long ago was walking around on four legs.  That's probably why steak houses are always decorated in a heavy, masculine style....beams, wood paneling, etc, while tea rooms have flowery wallpaper and miniature dishes (so I'm told).  

IMO the social scientist who first came up with the concept of "hunters" and "gatherers" was spot on.  My concern, however, is that today men are becoming more feminized.  For example, if a man goes to a market to buy his meat, is he still "hunting" or is he now "gathering"?

The most insipid new product facing men today is faux-meat.  They've actually learned how to take vegetables, somehow melt them down, cosmetically alter them, and press them into shapes that make men believe they're eating meat.  Well, very nearsighted men, at least.  

Come on wives and girlfriends, please don't do this to us.  We admit you're smarter than us, but please allow us to enjoy this one last little primordial piece of our caveman heritage.  We deserve our steak, our scotch, and a nice after-dinner angioplasty.  Let us go out with a little dignity.

Bon Apetite.  :)

S