Oh yes....lawnmowers. I remember those.

Do you remember hearing stories from 40 years ago about some inventor who perfected a car engine that could get 100 mpg, but then all talk about it disappeared because his invention was supposedly bought out by the oil companies?  Seems they had a vested interest in seeing us chug along in our 15 mpg chariots, buying oil/gas from them by the boatload, pun intended.

I have an idea similar in its potential to revolutionize how we live our lives, but seeing as how I pretty much screwed off during high school chemistry and learned little more than how to make stink bombs, I don't know how to develop it.  I can be the creative (read:  screwball) partner, now I just need a smart geeky partner to breathe life into my idea and it's off to the bank we go.  Here's my idea:

I was out this morning walking the pooch when I noticed how ragged the lot across the street looked.  A guy with a big tractor was just out there last week cutting it, but already some weeds are now knee-high again.  Not all....just some.

Chemical companies can make stuff to make things grow faster (fertilizer), and they know how to make potions to make green stuff die (herbicides), right?  (Yeah, yeah, I know....we're poisoning Mother Earth, blah, blah....just stick with me here.)  Why can't they make something that makes everything grow at the same rate?

Just imagine....you mow your yard in the spring.  It looks nice.  A month later everything....grass, weeds and all....are now 3 inches tall.  (Hey, green is green.  Just don't look too closely.)  Another month later, they're all 4 inches tall.  Another month 5 inches tall, etc.  

Eventually, depending on how big a dog you have, you'll need to mow your lawn again (you'll know it's time when you let your dog out and you can't see him anymore), but until then yard mowing will just be a twice or three-times-a-year event.  Woo Hoo!

Of course, this is bad news if you're the CEO of a lawnmower manufacturer or maybe Briggs and Stratton, but screw 'em.  We just got our weekends back, guys!  

OK....I need a geeky partner with a knowledge of chemistry (or at least the patience to do a lot of online research).  Who's interested?  *Cha-ching!*

S

I fought the lawn and the lawn won

Ahhh.....spring.  That time of the year when we all have visions of turning our hum-drum yards into showplaces like this:

Nurseries and the garden departments at the home improvement stores call this the "100 days of hell" as people come out of the walls buying plants and new sod and seeds.  I've been there myself.  Fresh air, sunshine, being outside without sweating....wonderful!

  But by early August, however, my song was more like "I fought the lawn and the lawn won."

At some point in history somebody....I'm guessing maybe Karl Marx or one of Adolph Hitler's ancestors....decided we didn't have enough to do just surviving and should spend hours and hours outside every week manicuring the field in front of our houses.  Bastards!

Here was an average summer week for me:  Wake up on Friday morning at 5 am, ready to mow as soon as the sun popped it's head.  By 9, dripping wet due to the early morning 99 degree heat, I had mowed, edged, weed-whacked, de-weeded the flower beds, and blown all the grass residue down the street where in theory it would somehow magically disappear.  This gave me Saturday and Sunday free.

But because Southern Botanical had come and fertilized my lawn the week before and it had come a little rain shower on Sunday evening, by Monday my yard was looking pretty shaggy again.  Naturally all my neighbors were in a headlong competition to win the Yard of the Month from our HOA, while I was just hoping to not come in dead last.  

So Monday evening at 7 pm, as the temp was on it's way down from its mid-day hell-on-earth 105, I was back out with that damn lawnmower, just hoping the guy across the street and two houses down would let his go, assuring me #119 to his #120.

Screw buying flowers when I had little yellow ones popping up everywhere for free.  Yes indeed, I definitely had a green thumb.  Johnson grass is green.  So is crabgrass.  And I learned I was quite the entomologist, too.  I always had chinch bugs, grub worms, and other assorted crawlies cavorting all over my yard like it was their Six Flags.  WooHoo!

I finally had my "gesundheit" moment (my 600th sneeze of the week +/-) and threw in the towel.  I hired a yard-mowing crew to come weekly and do all those lawn chores I so hated.  I timed them....their truck came to a screeching halt out front, 3 guys jumped out, and in 14 minutes they had done all those things that used to take me 3 hours. 

Sorry kids, but I spent all your inheritance.  And loved every minute of it.  F__k you Karl Marx!

S

Me from A to Z

Shades of JournalSpace!  These sorts of personal expose's were common back "in the day", but I haven't seen one since JS permanently crashed.   This exercise was at the suggestion of my friend Suldog, and at his request I'll play along.  Here's me, from A to Z:

Age:  62 chronologically, much less emotionally.  K sometimes says I'm a "stick in the mud", and I'm sure I am at times, but most of the time I'm having too much fun to act my age.  That may be because I pretty much toed the line as a kid and now I'm making up for lost time.

Bed Size:  Queen.  To me a King is just too big.  They're so big you can stretch out and never even know you're in bed with anyone else.  I like to think snuggling in a Queen bed is the perfect way to promote world peace.  *I can't imagine why that line hasn't worked better?*

Chore I Hate:  Yard work, hands down.  I hate mowing, edging, weed-eating, trimming shrubs, raking leaves, fertilizing, spraying for various bugs and lawn diseases....all of it.  All so it can look good for maybe 3 days until it starts looking shaggy again?  Talk about an exercise in futility!

Dogs?  I love dogs, pretty much all dogs.  But I only want a small to medium sized dog for myself.  Big dogs have too much going in one end and coming out the other.  My love of dogs is odd since my parents didn't have dogs and therefore I was never around one as a kid.  Right now we have a Yorkshire Terrier (Luke), and before him we had a Miniature Schnauzer (Emma), a West Highland White Terrier (Tara), and many years ago (pre K) I had an American Eskimo (Tahsha).  Dogs bring me much happiness.  :)

Essential start to my day:  A cold beverage.  Right now I'm partial to Trader Joe's Latte's and Mocha Cappuccino's.

Favorite color:  I'm easy.  I like green, blue, red....there's no color in particular I plan my wardrobe or room furnishings around.  If it looks good in context, I like it.

Gold or Silver?  Silver.  It's less flashy than gold.  I'm not a flashy person.

House or Apartment?  For 35+ years I owned my own home(s), but for the last 4 years I've had an apartment and I LOVE IT!  In fairness, at certain times in my life, such as when I had small children and they needed a safe place to play, a house was perfect.  But I'm long past that now.   A house again someday?  Never say never. *wink*

Instruments played:  AM radio, FM radio, Quadraphonic stereo, 8-track, cassettes, CD's and iPods.  I'm accomplished in them all.  ;)

Job title:  Until last fall, President of Park Place Custom Homes.  That sounds impressive until you read my job description:  "Responsible for every shitty detail if no one else can be found to dump it on."  Now I'm semi-retarded.

Kids:  Three daughters; Kristan, Andrea, and Erica.  Today all are grown, well educated, and gainfully employed.  *happy dance*  They've also blessed me with four grandkids (Austin, Colby, Parker, and Blakely), with one more (Reese) on the way.

Live:  If that's a long "i", yes I am.  Otherwise, in Frisco, TX, a far-northern Dallas suburb.

Married:  Happily, to the lovely and talented "K".  Six years so far and counting.  :)

Never Again....will I ever sign my name to a mega-million dollar bank note.  Been there, done that, (successfully) escaped by the skin of my teeth.  I don't trust #$%& bankers.  "He who has the gold makes the rules", and the rules are 100% tilted in their favor.  Always!

Other Fun Facts:  I love history (college minor), and in particular aviation history.   For a while I was a docent at a Smithsonian-affiliated aviation museum.  I was also very active for nearly two decades with the Confederate Air Force, today known as the Commemorative Air Force.  I traveled the country on their behalf and had a great time, but what I did was extremely dangerous and about 8 years ago I figured I'd pushed my luck long enough and hung up my chocks.  

Pet Peeves:  People who throw cigarette butts on the pavement, people who make messes and leave it for someone else to clean up, f__ked-up renditions of the Star Spangled Banner, people who pull in front of me on the road and then just poke along, cops who get all bent out of shape when I do 54 in a 40....

Quote:  "Character means doing the right thing, even when no one is watching."  (author unknown)  Also: "Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense." (Winston Churchill)

Righty or Lefty?  Righty, although I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

Siblings:  One, Todd.  Good guy, business partner, extremely competent, totally trustworthy.  He's 11 years younger than me (can you say "Oops"), so we were never close as kids.  Especially after the time I put him in the clothes dryer and gave him a couple of spins.  (Oh stop it!  You know you'd have loved to do the same thing to your kid bro/sis.  You just didn't think of it.)

Time you wake up:  Wake up around 5:30 (thanks to Luke the Wonder Dog), feet hit the floor about 6.

University attended:  Texas Tech University, class of '72.  Nine of the happiest years of my life!  (Kidding....I made it in 4.)

Veggies I dislike:  Pretty much all of them, especially those that have a color...yellow, green, red, orange...yuck! The blue ones aren't too bad.  And I do like jalapenos.  (When I was a kid to get my mother to quit bugging me I convinced her a jalapeno was a green vegetable.)  

What makes you run late?  Very few things.  I'm extremely punctual.

X-rays?  Sure.  For dental work, of course.  And on my head to see if I was "normal"....oh, and to check out my sinuses, and on my back, and on the typical assorted adolescent broken bones. 

Yum foods?  Steak!  Mexican!  Italian!  Banana pudding!  Pecan pie!  Ice cream!  (I'll stop there as this post is already waaaay too long.)

Zoo animal (favorite):   I'm not really into zoo's all that much, but I'd have to say it would probably be one of the birds of prey.  I find them fascinating.

OK, that's me.  Now as Jim (Suldog) challenged me, I'm challenging you to do one of these on yourself.  I think it's a pretty cool way to learn more about your blogging friends.  

Hope you enjoyed.  :)

S

My downsizing saga, Pt. 1

I've been a custom home builder for nearly 40 years.  Inflation, zoning laws, and buyer's tastes being what they are, most of the homes I build today are very large and cost well over $1M (just the kitchen appliances cost more than my first home) and look something like this:

(Sorry for the small photos.  Any larger and they lost sharpness.)

Maybe that's why big swanky houses hold no special allure for me....I see them every day.  *yawn*  For myself I built a more modest-sized home....3,147 sq feet, two-story, corner lot, study, 24' x 36' Great Room, etc.  (I know...what was I thinking?)  When I met K and first brought her to my home her jaw hit the floor when she walked in.  To me it was just run-of-the-mill, but to her it was "a mansion".  She loved it at the same time I was tiring of it.  That was in 2006.  By 2007 the economic outlook was getting scary.  By 2008 it was obvious to me it would be "man-the-lifeboat" time very soon.  I could see a little pro-active strategic planning was in order.

In retrospect I'm the last person who should own a home.  I HATE yard work, but with a next-door neighbor who was Mr. Yard-of-the-Month I had to put forth at least some effort.  To me a yard is just a place for the dog to crap.  I don't entertain much at home, and never have any overnight company. 

I DETEST doing maintenance of any kind, but of course I do it (grudgingly)....I want things to look good and work right.  I flip the switch and expect things to come on.  Unfortunately things don't always work like that and my home was by then at the age where maintenance / repair was becoming a regular occurrence.

My kids were long since grown, educated, married, and on someone else's payroll.  I had bedrooms....an entire upstairs even, unused.  When is a 24 x 36 foot Great Room too big?  When you have to wave your arms and yell to get your mate's attention.  And besides, when you're in bed asleep you can't tell if your bedroom is 13 x 13 or 23 x 23.  The thought of paying for all that unused space, and paying taxes on it, and insurance, and utilities, etc, was really bugging me.

I knew it was going to break my new bride's heart to give up her "mansion", but she deferred to me (thank you Sweetie!) and let me put it on the market.  My timing was fortunate....values were still up there and financing hadn't yet seized up.  We sold it before the economy "hit the fan" and did well.

Since K had been driving 50 miles round trip in heavy traffic daily to work I told her we'd rent a 2 bed, 2 bath apartment somewhere closer to her work for a while and we could address another, smaller home later.  My plan was moving forward.  

That's where I'll leave the story for now.  Part 2 tomorrow.

S