Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Royal Baby

He probably looks something like this.

Daily life in Great Britain, the US, and much of the rest of the world came to a standstill for a few minutes yesterday when Princess Kate Duchess Windsor Middleton Cambridge gave birth to a new heir to the British Throne.  Little Prince Elroy* and his mum are both said to be doing well.  A beaming Prince William was quoted as saying, "Me?  Don't we have Royal Hired Help to change those?"

With the new expanded Windsor-Middleton-Cambridge family scheduled to come home today, Extreme Home Makeover, UK crews "gave it the beans" (English euphemism for "hurried things up"), getting the baby's room painted blue and the wood-cut-out letters E L R O Y hung over his crib.  

Elsewhere Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip were spotted wearing floppy hats and dark sunglasses trying to quietly get a few last minute things at We Be Toys.  Besides a lamp and a small rug, the Queen reportedly bought a gilded photo frame for the autographed picture of Herself she planned to present to the Royal Tyke.

Royal Bookies currently have Baby Elroy eventually becoming a Royal Air Force Sea King helicopter pilot like his dad, 5-2 odds over becoming a British Army Apache helicopter pilot like his uncle Harry, despite the fact that Apache's are way more cool.

The Lowandslow's have sent their congratulatory email, and we look forward to someday meeting King Elroy when we visit England for a little sightseeing.  I'm sure he's looking forward to meeting us, too.


*Prince Scott was ruled out early after Scotland announced they would soon hold an election on whether to remain in the United Kingdom or go it alone.  An incensed Queen Elizabeth reportedly said, "Well then, shag 'em."


  1. Ha! Entertaining!

  2. King Elroy I would be pretty great. Of course he won't inherit the throne until he's 70 without some Game of Thrones-style treachery. Sometimes I wonder if they've just been using a double for Queen Elizabeth like the movie "Dave" so they won't have to let Charles take the throne, which let's face it no one except him and Camilla want that to happen.

  3. King Stephen would be a nice name. Once upon a time there WAS an English King Stephen but he spent all his time warring with his mother, Empress Maud. Hmmm...this sounds familiar.

  4. Charles got nervous when he heard the baby was "crowning."

    1. He may never be King, but's he's one helluva ribbon cutter.

  5. Prince Elroy? And here I was hoping for Prince Neville.