Dear Audi,
First, let me say how much I enjoy the car you built for me. It's really fast, but it doesn't look like it should be. Most cops don't even look twice when I slam on my brakes then coast through their speed trap. They just assume it was the kid in the red Camaro running beside me that pegged their radar gun. Haha! And it gets good gas mileage and doesn't break, either, which makes me very happy.
That said, there is one little thing that I don't like about the car you built for me. See that tiny little space between my seat and the console? ^ It's about 1/4 of an inch wide. My fingers are wider than that. A LOT wider. So whenever I drop something down into that narrow gap it's pretty much gone forever.
That's not so bad if it's just an old french fry or a freebie pen that says "Stolen from Mabel's Whore House" or something, but occasionally something of value drops in there. Like today, when I was sitting there minding my own business, eating a brownie after lunch that K (that's my wife) made for me.
That's when I dropped my stylus....it's like a pencil with an eraser on the end (but with no lead) that I use to push the little bitty keys on my tablet keyboard. Have I mentioned that I have "not skinny" fingers? Well, without a stylus to push all those little bitty keys, a tablet is pretty much just a rock with a data plan. I pushed the seat all the way forward and tried sticking my hand under from the back seat, but all I could grab hold of was a bunch of wires.
Then I tried running the seat all the way to the back and stuck my hand in from the front, but just found a bunch of petrified french fries and something else I couldn't begin to identify. I tried sliding a ruler down the crack (that sounds really gross, doesn't it?) but didn't find my stylus that way either. Did you know Tic Tac's have a shelf life of years? I swear, they're like Twinkies!
Anyway, I finally went and got one of those telescoping thingys with a magnet on the end and that did the trick. Here's my point: Please, either make that gap at least an inch wide so us guys with clumsy "not skinny" fingers can get down in there, or put one of those telescoping magnet things in the toolkit you pack under the spare tire.
Thank you....er....Dankeschön.
Lowandslow
Frisco, Texas USA
I think the 1/4 crack is standard in all automobiles, not just Audi. It replaces the crack created when you sat down in the old bench seats and shit fell into it never to be found again.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, I hope Audi listens to your suggestion...if not at least it was a very funny post!
Yeah my Focus is like that too. It can be really annoying when stuff gets down in there.
ReplyDeleteI hope they listen and respond to your letter, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
ReplyDeleteMy hand will fit down there, but then it can't really do very much. So I can feel the earring, but I can't actually grasp it. VERY annoying!
ReplyDeleteOh, man, I can so identify with this. Even in my '97 Pontiac, there's an area between the seat and stick that just swallows stuff. Once in a blue moon, it's something I really need, then I have to stop the car, get out and onto my knees so I can get some idea of where to aim my hand under the seat, reach toward the other side of the seat, and HOPE that what I contact isn't alive or something because there is no way to see my target.
ReplyDeleteFor every letter like this from people like you and me (the sausage-finger people, as I like to call us), Audi gets three letters from
ReplyDelete"telescoping-thingys-with-a-magnet-on-the-end" manufacturers that tell them their design is just great.
We all need to get those sales letters about "telescoping-thingys-with-a-magnet-on-the-end"!!
ReplyDelete