Showing posts with label Duck Dynasty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Duck Dynasty. Show all posts

Thursday, May 9, 2013

There's hope for me yet

According to an article I read in Fortune magazine I should be a corporate CEO or top-tier engineer or scientist, or maybe a general or admiral.

Fortune quoted a study titled "A Stupidity-Based Theory of Organizations" which claims when an organization has too many smart people they tend to argue among themselves about who has the best ideas and actually get less done because they can't decide on a course of action.  

Stupidity on the other hand has a unifying effect....it boosted productivity.  People content in an atmosphere of functional stupidity came to a consensus more easily and had greater "roll-up-our-sleeves" enthusiasm to get the job done.

Well, anyone who knows me knows I live in an atmosphere of functional stupidity.  Much of it comes from me, but I have no shortage of stupid friends, too.  According to this theory I shouldn't just HAVE an iPhone, I should OWN Apple.  All of it....mine!

Uber-smart people get bored with work easily and lose interest.  Stupid people who have had to work hard all their lives to get just the simplest chore done know the value of diligence.  Imagine learning to tie your shoes:  The smart kids picked it up easily, the stupid ones invented Velcro.

And look at NASA....they spent years and millions of dollars to invent a pen that could write upside down and in zero-gravity.  The Rooskies just used a pencil.  OK, bad example.


Speaking of rocket scientists, look at the Duck Dynasty boyz:


They AREN'T.  But they ARE rich! 

So carrying this analogy through to its logical conclusion, these are without doubt the SMARTEST people in the country world universe:


We need you Alfred E. Neuman!  ;)

S


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Reality TV....the race to the bottom


Did you ever stop and think about the themes that come and go in TVland?  When I was a kid it was westerns.  Gunsmoke, Have Gun Will Travel, The Rifleman, Rawhide, etc, and on Saturday mornings The Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, and plenty more.

Then we drifted into comedies....The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, Mary Tyler Moore, All in the Family, Green Acres....

Later still we had the cops 'n robbers shows:  Kojak, Hawaii Five-0, Starsky and Hutch, Baretta, Cagney and Lacey....

Today reality shows are all the rage.  I must admit, overall this is my least favorite TV genre to date.  I understand why the TV producers like them:  They're easy and cheap to produce, "talent" is everywhere, and there are no expensive sets to design....the grungier the better.

One of the few I do like is Duck Dynasty, about a family in Louisiana who's made million$ making duck calls, but still lives the redneck lifestyle.  I say it's about 80% "show" and 20% "reality", but K thinks they're the real deal.  

Consider this:  The family patriarch has a Masters degree in education, was a star college quarterback who had an offer to play in the NFL, and the "boys" are well educated, married to attractive "normal" women, and live the good life.  I think the beards are just their TV gimmick.



Here's the "old" Willie Robertson of pre-TV fame.


Here's the "new" TV Willie (R) with his father, brother, and uncle.  I think this show is one of the best marketing gimmicks ever.  Can you imagine how many duck calls they sell now?

Another current blow-out reality show is Doomsday Preppers.  It showcases people across the country who think "the end is near" and are stocking up on ammo and Ramen Noodles.  A few seem semi-sane:  They're worried about an economic collapse or maybe some sort of natural disaster such as an earthquake on the west coast.  OK, fair enough.

Most, however, are worried about things like the world flipping upside down (yes, the north and south poles switching places).  Loonies!


The aluminum hat is obviously to protect his "brain" from mega-sunspot radiation.  No, really.

Here's how they think....they turn their home into a bunker, fill it with MRE's and barrels of water, buy a small arsenal of weapons, and then have a "bug out bag" (a backpack) so they can strike out cross-country when it all hits the fan.  And leave all that stuff they've been hoarding?  DUH!


And of course there's Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, the little girl with "star power" and her stage mom.  I've only seen this one once.  It was so gross I couldn't take any more.  On the one hand I feel sorry for them because the whole world is laughing AT them.  But on the other hand they're getting rich, so I guess the last laugh is on THEM.

Other than that you have The Real Housewives of NJ / Atlanta /  Orange County / Frog Knot, The Race Around The World (or something like that), blah, blah.  Somebody please stop this madness!  

Does this say something about our nation's collective intelligence?  If so, I want to cash in, too.   How about this:  


A show about a retired guy who eats fried pork skins for breakfast....


....spends his days chasing his dog "Little Fucker" (as in "come here you little fucker!") around the house....and writes blog posts about how things were "back in the day?

Move over Boo-Boo.  *Cha-Ching!*

S


Friday, January 4, 2013

Where was this advice when we needed it?

Today would be a good day to be a wedding planner in China.  The BBC reports there is a wedding boom in China today because "4 January 2013" in Mandarin sounds similar to "I'll love you all my life."  

I think it might be advisable for anyone planning marriage to research which date sounds like "I'm gonna make your life a living hell!" and plan accordingly. 

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Heard on Duck Dynasty:  "It's OK to be creepy if you're old."

Finally.  I've waited my whole life for this!

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"Meggings".  Really?  Why?

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First our gubment outlawed further manufacture of old fashioned incandescent light bulbs, mandating compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFL's) instead because they're more energy efficient. Now we learn that these CFL bulbs are dangerous, possibly causing skin cancer.  It seems they emit ultraviolet rays so strong they can burn skin and skin cells.

In every bulb scientists tested they found the protective coating around the light creating "phosphor" was cracked, allowing dangerous ultraviolet rays to escape.  They're advising us to stay at least two feet away from the bulbs when they're in use.  

Sheesh!  I go outside and I get skin cancer.  Now I stay inside and still get skin cancer.  I can't buy a break!

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I was sure that Speaker of the House John Boehner, aka "Boner" would not be re-elected to that post by the new House sworn in yesterday, but DOH!....he was, with just 5 votes to spare. This tepid support makes him pretty "toothless".  He's being likened to a cemetery superintendent....he has a lot of people under him, but no one is listening.  


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The December unemployment report is out and it showed 155,000 jobs were created last month.  Interestingly, the most active hiring sectors of the economy were in manufacturing and construction, two of the hardest hit by the recession.  Maybe the "Buy American" initiative is catching on.

It's Friday.  Out.  ;)

S