So, how do you like summer so far, Scott?

We're only four days into summer and I've already had a near-death heat-related experience.

I spent 4 hours outside yesterday afternoon and thought I was gonna die.  I came home around 5 drenched in sweat and went straight to the shower.  I turned on the shower water and began to undress and realized I couldn't get my t-shirt off.  It was stuck to my back.

I wrestled with that damn thing for 10 minutes and finally got it up my back to my neck, and managed to get one arm half way out, when things went straight to hell.  My left arm was sticking half in and half out of its sleeve, my right arm was behind my head tugging for all I was worth to get get the t-shirt up and over my head, while my head was bent straight down on my chest.  I needed to get my head back up so some oxygen could make it into my lungs.  I couldn't move and I couldn't see because salty sweat was in my eyes.  I was in a helluva shape.

I figured I was either going to have to call for help, rip my t-shirt to shreds to get it off, or say "hey" to Jesus.  With hot water running out it was now or never.  One last try....and I was free!  The t-shirt was a bit stretched out, but I think it's salvageable.  

Then my underwear.  I couldn't just drop 'em and step out.  I had to roll the waistband down....it sounded like velcro pulling apart as it broke its grip on my sweaty butt.  (Not a pretty visual, is it?)

You know that story about Rip Van Winkle?  Is that even possible?  I don't want to sleep for 20 years, but I wouldn't mind hibernating in a cool place until, say, early October.

All things considered I guess it could be worse.  In addition to this #$%^&* heat and humidity, my brother is having a colonoscopy on Wednesday and a tooth extraction on Friday, and the reconstruction first step for a tooth implant.

Maybe I'd best count my blessings and just suffer in silence.

Here's to you, summer.  ;)

S

There's hope for me yet

According to an article I read in Fortune magazine I should be a corporate CEO or top-tier engineer or scientist, or maybe a general or admiral.

Fortune quoted a study titled "A Stupidity-Based Theory of Organizations" which claims when an organization has too many smart people they tend to argue among themselves about who has the best ideas and actually get less done because they can't decide on a course of action.  

Stupidity on the other hand has a unifying effect....it boosted productivity.  People content in an atmosphere of functional stupidity came to a consensus more easily and had greater "roll-up-our-sleeves" enthusiasm to get the job done.

Well, anyone who knows me knows I live in an atmosphere of functional stupidity.  Much of it comes from me, but I have no shortage of stupid friends, too.  According to this theory I shouldn't just HAVE an iPhone, I should OWN Apple.  All of it....mine!

Uber-smart people get bored with work easily and lose interest.  Stupid people who have had to work hard all their lives to get just the simplest chore done know the value of diligence.  Imagine learning to tie your shoes:  The smart kids picked it up easily, the stupid ones invented Velcro.

And look at NASA....they spent years and millions of dollars to invent a pen that could write upside down and in zero-gravity.  The Rooskies just used a pencil.  OK, bad example.

Speaking of rocket scientists, look at the Duck Dynasty boyz:

They AREN'T.  But they ARE rich! 

So carrying this analogy through to its logical conclusion, these are without doubt the SMARTEST people in the country world universe:

We need you Alfred E. Neuman!  ;)

S