Insanity by a thousand "dings"

If I believed in ghosts I'd swear my world was haunted.  A thousand times a day, out of nowhere, I'll hear "ding".  They come at all hours, usually solo, sometimes in pairs, and always at irregular intervals. The really frustrating part is, I can't find where they're coming from.  Grrrrr!

I've pretty much ruled out the doorbell "ding" because our apartment doesn't have a doorbell, but just a knocker.  And I've checked the timer on both the microwave and that other big hot-box thing under the cooktop.  The elevator down the hall makes a "ding" when it arrives at our floor, but it is much louder than the faint "ding" I'm talking about here.

It's aggravating the same way a smoke detector is when it's battery goes dead.  Except that's always, always at 3 am, and it goes "chirp", not "ding".  But nowadays with 6 or 8 smoke detectors in every home, finding the culprit is a hair-pulling exercise.  I've even changed ALL the batteries at the same time, figuring that would absolutely shut the damn things up.  But as it turns out, sometimes those things just go bad for no apparent reason and need to be replaced. *sigh*

In our humble abode we have two computers (his 'n hers), two iPads (his 'n hers), and two smartphones (his 'n hers), plus "her" has a couple of other electronic gizmos that might also make noises, too, I'm not sure.   But right now, my guess is it's one of those contraptions.

But why would it "ding"?  To notify me of something?  But what?  Wouldn't there be some sort of announcement on the screen?  To tell me there's some new blog post or Facebook entry or email ready to read?  Those things come and go all day long, and I get many more of those than I hear "dings".

Me and Luke out for a stroll.

Maybe I'm the unwilling participant in some sort of psychology experiment to find out "how many unexplained 'dings' does a man have to hear before he goes completely insane?"  In which case they've got the wrong guy.  Some say I passed that milestone years ago.  ;)

S

I need a gift certificate to the $6,000,000 Man's parts bin....

Remember the TV show The Six Million Dollar Man?  It was about a guy who was almost killed in a horrible crash, but was rebuilt with artificial body parts.  I need about an hour to scrounge through their parts bin.

A couple weeks ago I had a painful inflammatory problem with my right foot, so my doctor gave me Admenntieosnfkeongweojnsdoiekns (sp?), which fixed me right up.  But now I found out it's giving me an ulcer.  WTH??

The stuff deemed "the best" inflammatory med is also one of "the worst" for my gut.  Side effects suck.  Oh well, I now have my friend / client / gastroenterologist "on ze case".  

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Have you heard of the social media site called Snapchat?  Apparently it enables you to take a picture, send it to a friend where he/she can view it, and then it promptly disappears.  Pfffftt....gone, sort of a 21st Century flash paper like they used on Mission Impossible.

It seems the two 20-something-year-old guys working out of a beach bungalow in Venice Beach, CA who own it HAVE TURNED DOWN FACEBOOK'S $3 BILLION OFFER TO BUY THEM OUT.  They turned DOWN three BILLION dollars!

I would have been strolling the grounds of my Lake Como estate by now.  But that's just me.  :)

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This makes me feel really good....

There was a photo gallery in this morning's online news showing our US military bringing in food/water/meds/supplies to the Philippines as fast as their planes can land.  I only hope the rest of the First World is doing their part, too, to lend a hand.  

I see the suffering there and realize how insignificant my silly swollen foot issue is.  Maybe I'd better just shut up and be grateful for whatever comes my way.

Have a good day everyone.  :)

S

Statistics don't lie. Well, SOMETIMES they don't lie.

Recently several of my friends...Stephen at Chubby Chatterbox and Bruce at Oddball Observations....looked back on their blogging stats and shared what they found.  They both are a pleasure to read and deserve their success.  I never paid much attention to mine, so I thought I'd peek and see what lurked in my numbers.

This is my 824th post here at Blogger.  Up to this morning I've had 96,385 pageviews.  Almost all were from the US, with Germany, Canada, the UK, Australia, the Netherlands, China, France, Ukraine, and Serbia rounding out the rest.  I suspect the ones from Russia, China, Ukraine, and Serbia were those who just spread spam.  I think the rest were probably legitimate.  

My most read post was one titled "Reality TV....the race to the bottom" with 483 pageviews.  Like everyone I throw out some fluff pieces, too....you know, posts about cars and clouds and such.  But I also like to put out some discussing current events and editorial pieces that hopefully make people think....and disagree.  I enjoy hearing differing opinions.  They make ME think.

Before this I participated on Journal Space, which contained a remarkable group of writers and readers.  It went abruptly kaput so I have no idea what my numbers were.  As best I can recall they were up in the several hundred thousands.  One in particular stands out:  It was the first "conversation" I ever had with my future wife, K.  :)

I also read and post on Facebook, but frankly, that site is pretty bland.  It seems to me it's the site people go to who don't want to think.  But if you want a killer cupcake recipe or a picture of a cute puppy*....  ;)

Thanks to those who put up with me.

S

*Don't get me wrong, I like eating a good cupcake and playing with a cute puppy, but it just doesn't make for very stimulating conversation.

It's all about the nickels and dimes

Yesterday my friend Kelly over at Facebook shared a story about a one-day strike underway in several cities by McDonald's employees demanding a raise from minimum wage to $15 an hour.  Her question...should they get it?  

The consensus said no, while we sympathize with their plight, it isn't exactly skilled labor, and there are people waiting in the wings for each of those jobs.  It's simple supply and demand (of labor).  If they need more money (who doesn't?) they should learn a skill.

But then I wondered....

If a McDonald's franchisee took it upon himself to pay his employees $15 an hour, reducing his profit margin, and advertised his experiment to the public, I wonder if his customers would be appreciative enough to bring in their friends and buy MORE burgers, ultimately making him MORE net profit?  Would you go out of your way to patronize such a business?

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Years ago my dad shared with me some business advice that I follow to this day.  He said, "A fast nickel is better than a slow dime."  He meant it's better to deliver good service and value than to just hold out for top dollar.  At the end of the day you'll make more money.

Over the past 30+ years I've put together an excellent group of craftsmen who build my homes.  I know for a fact I could get cheaper carpenters, brickmasons, painters, etc, but these guys are good and they take very good care of me and my customers.  From what I can tell my gross margin is somewhat less than most of my competitors.

I routinely go back 2...3...4 years after a family moves in and patch a hole in a wall that their rowdy kids kicked in, or replace a piece of hardware that has tarnished, even though their state-mandated warranty period has long since expired, all for free.  I'm sure I spend a thousand dollars or more all totaled doing these things every year.

But here's the payback:  When the economy went into freefall back in 2008 (and before that 2001, the mid-90's, the mid-80's, etc) and most of my competitors closed their doors (literally), we muddled through thanks to repeat business (unheard of in the homebuilding industry) and direct referrals from previous customers.  We never advertise, yet 80%+ of our business comes looking for us.

We're never going to get rich doing business this way....we understand that.  We just don't have that "win at all cost" mentality.  But we're modestly profitable, we owe no one, and we can sleep at night knowing we haven't screwed anyone.

This is a business model that IMO is suitable for private companies.  Few of those companies publicly traded can be this generous.  Shareholders demand every last penny profit they can get, and if you can't give it to them, they'll jump ship for a .01% higher return elsewhere.

They don't care who they have to step on to get it, they want their damn money!  That's one reason the banks are so crooked.  (Another is their bonus depends on it.)  Kinda makes you wonder if maybe the Anglo-American version of capitalism hasn't taken just a few too many steroids?

My point is....well....I'm still standing.  Dad was right.  "A fast nickel really IS better than a slow dime."  It's a shame more businesses don't "get it".  

S

The opening salvo of World (cyber) War I

Cyber Command Central, located in a secure underground location in Montana.

It began with an excited, almost hysterical call from a Miz Kelly Park of Frisco, Tx.  She reported that the internet was down.  Not just Facebook, but Google, Pintrest and all the rest were black, too.  An immediate check with CNN, Fox News, and the Home Shopping Network mentioned nothing about the attack, leading Miz Park to believe re-runs had been inserted to make it appear all was normal.  

"It's started", said Air Force Maj. Gen. Ralphie Jordan, head of Cyber Command.

"The Event" had been widely anticipated for quite some time.  China's Peoples Liberation Army Unit 61398, their crack unit of government sanctioned hackers, was immediately suspect.  In past bank hacking incidents the origin had been traced back to a non-descript office building in Bejing, and this is where Cyber Warriors loyal to President Brick O'Bama immediately focused their attention.

Efforts were made to inform the President who is currently traveling in Africa, but nobody in Washington could find the area code for Senegal, and the only State Department official who actually knows where Senegal is was with the President, acting as his guide and food and water taster.  Using Constitutional protocol, Vice President Biden assumed command in Washington during the crisis.

Cyber-nerd reservists were immediately activated and ordered to report to their mother's basements and man their computers.  Auxiliary internet channel 6 was powered up, which fortunately was found to be unfazed by the hostilities.

It was assumed there was chaos in the streets all across America, and perhaps even Europe and Australia, too, but as Twitter was knocked off the broadband no one could be sure.  The fear now is that in 9 months there will be one or more babies born to nerd couples who were so bored without their internet they actually tried sex.

One hour and 38 minutes after it began, Reserve Cyber Officer Sheldon Sakowitz phoned Miz Park and asked her to try tightening the coaxial cable connection to her router.  She did, and the internet surged back to life.  

The investigation continues this morning with forensic cyber-scientists trying to figure out how Chinese infiltrators made it across the border and on to Frisco, TX where they Beta tested their newest internet-crashing technology.

Miz Park is currently negotiating a book deal with the Kindle division of Amazon to digitize her riveting, near-disastrous brush with internet death.   You can pre-order your copy now for WiFi delivery on July 8, 2013.

S

*Under duress (by Miz Park) I must report portions of this re-creation were slightly enhanced for effect.  But only "slightly". ;)

  

Now I know how Rodney Dangerfield felt....

"I don't get no respect", not even on my birthday.  ESPECIALLY on my birthday....

Haha!  Now that's funny!

I like these smart-ass kinds of cards.  Pretty much everyone who knows me knows if they get a birthday card from me, it's going to be highly insulting.  I reserve the serious kind of card to show respect for the deceased because (I'm told) a "bada-bing, bada-boom" sentiment just isn't appropriate.  (Even if the dead dude was a joker himself?)

Then there's the "grandma card".  You know the type....it's the one with all the glitter on it.  I'm guessing years ago a card designer at Hallmark decided nothing says "I love you Grandma" like glitter, and apparently in the glitter hierarchy purple is King....er....Queen.  No really.  Just go to the greeting card aisle at the pharmacy and look at all the glitter on the floor under the "Grandmother" section.  Purple predominates, with some red and some gold scattered in for (I suppose) it's shock value. 

But by far the most popular way to say "Happy Birthday" these days is on your Facebook "Timeline".   I didn't even know I had a Timeline until yesterday when I was inundated with well wishers.  I was flattered, but at the same time baffled.  K said there is an icon or something that supposedly pops up on my Facebook page daily to inform me who's birthday it was that day, but I'll be damned if I can find it.  So to all my Facebook friends whose birthday has come and gone with nary a "Yo, dude!" from me, I'm sorry.  

Some day I'm hoping my technological savvy-ness progresses beyond 1992 and I'll find that elusive Facebook birthday icon.  Until then, gimme your snail mail address and I'll send you a highly insulting birthday card....sent with love, of course.  ;)

S

Me vs TXU Energy....Epilogue

To clarify, that would be me (metaphorically speaking) on the right, foreground.  ;)

You may remember a couple of weeks ago I posted a rant here against TXU Energy over the final bill they sent me saying that for just 12 days service I owed $153.34, nearly 3 1/2 times as much (average daily consumption) as I used the previous entire month.  NO WAY!  I called TXU's 800 Customer Service number and spoke with a guy whose training apparently consisted of little more than learning to say "NO" in several languages.  I kept demanding to go upstream and was finally told a higher-up would call me the next day.

In the meantime "Lauren", a TXU social media service rep (many large companies have such people who monitor Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, etc, looking for mentions of their company) commented that I could contact her and she would see if she could help.  I did, forwarding the facts and also photos of evidence of "meter room" door tampering, which raised yet another red flag in my mind.

The bottom line:  TXU requested a meter re-read from Oncor, the electric distribution company who actually owns and reads the meters, and guess what?....I was right!  They notified me yesterday my revised bill is $29.69.  BIG difference!

So what have I learned from this experience?  First, as the old saying goes, "Never accept 'NO' from someone not authorized to say 'YES'".  If you honestly feel you're right, and you have some logic / evidence on your side, KEEP PUSHING!  Principle matters.

Second, TXU Energy is firm, but fair.  They probably have hundreds (thousands?) of scams aimed at them every day, and their natural instinct seems to be to just say "NO", but if you're adamant, they will listen.  Thank you Lauren.  :)

S

Social media backfires

Besides just being a fun way to keep up with what friends are doing, social media has become much more.  Over the past several years for example it has helped bring down numerous mid-eastern governments.  People in one city can see in real time atrocities being committed in another city hundreds of miles away, inflaming passions and helping to coordinate revolutions.  Syria is on the cusp of that right now, and Facebook is in the thick of it.  It's become a sort of 21st century version of "the pen is mightier than the sword".


But now we learn social media can be used to squash Spring Break here at home, too.  I guess you could say it's turned Spring Break into Spring Brake.  The kid's fear is that a video with them in it doing things that could cause dear old mom and dad to cut off their cash might go viral.  Talk about unintended consequences! 


And in a similar "you heard it here first" vein, it seems scientists have discovered that male fruit flies rejected by females drink significantly more alcohol than those that have mated.  Interesting.  I didn't even know friut flies went on Spring Break. (I wonder if that was a taxpayer funded study?)


Yeah, it's a slow news day.  That's all I have.  :)


S