!! BREAKING NEWS !!

Kidding....this must be the most boring news day ever.  Did Beyonce lip-sync the Star Spangled Banner at O'Bama's inauguration?  Why would anyone care?

Michelle O'Bama rolled her eyes at something John "Boner" Boehner said at lunch.  The big deal is they won't tell us what he said.  Shouldn't there be some Freedom of Information Act rule that applies here?

Apache helicopter pilot Prince Harry (Capt. Wales if you're curious) is in trouble with the Taliban....shouldn't that be a mark of honor?....for saying popping terrorists is like playing a video game.  Take note Xbox....I've found your next celebrity spokesman.

All the world's big-name bankers are assembled in Davos, Switzerland trying to tell us they're really good guys and asking us to pleeeeease not regulate them any more.  Now that's an uphill PR battle.  "Listen to what I say, just don't watch what I do."  

One of the Williams sisters lost her match and destroyed her tennis racket in frustration.  Like that's never happened before.  Next they're gonna tell us some golfer got pissed and threw his clubs in the lake.

Hold the presses:  The AP headline reads "Foes of NYC Soda Size Limit Doubt Racial Fairness".  Huh?  

Airlines still have all their Boeing 787's parked due to the plane's insistence on smoking in the lavatory, and in the cockpit, and in the cargo hold, and in the avionics bay....

To try and make a few bucks off of them while they're just sitting there smoldering, how about this:  Open them up as kid's playgrounds.  I mean, are those cool slides or what?  :)

And finally, it's been leaked that this year's Super Bowl XLVII will be heavy with beer, car, and cola commercials.  Unlike the other XLVI Super Bowls that came before it. 

Y'all behave.

S

The End is Near-ish

So how is this "End of the World" thing gonna happen?  If I understand it correctly, the Mayans in their infinite wisdom have it figured tomorrow is "the day".  "Turn out the lights, the party's over".  It sounds rather silly to me, but then again, who knows?

If it turns out to be true I'd hate for my last meal to be a grilled cheese sandwich.  And I wouldn't want to spend my last day on earth rotating the tires on my car.  And why ruin my last day by balancing my checkbook or going grocery shopping?  To the contrary, I'm thinking about blowing all I have and then some on something really decadent.  Maybe I could drive my new Maserati to III Forks for a juicy, medium rare steak.

Do I dare chance it?  What if the Mayans were wrong?  I can't afford a new freakin' Maserati!

OK....OK....I'VE GOT IT!  We should be able to see this end of the world thing coming, right?  Wouldn't it start over in the western Pacific at the International Date Line?  Then it would work it's way around the world one time zone at a time.  Yeah, that's it.  By the time "the end" made it to Hawaii I would be behind the wheel of my new dream car.  By the time the lights went out in LA I'd be savoring my last bite of steak.  

As things got quiet in Denver I'd be assembling the kids and grand kidlettes in order to watch them open their Christmas presents.  Then we'd be off to the airport (no need for luggage....security should be a breeze!) where my private (rented) jet would be waiting to take us to maybe Paris....no....MONACO!  Wonder if we'd have time for a stopover in Switzerland?  I've never been there and it sounds pretty cool.

Hmmm....maybe I should have been accepting all those credit card offers I get every day in the mail that I've been pre-approved for.  We could've had one epic "Going Out With a Bang!" party.  Oh well, too late to worry about it now.

We could wind down the day in Singapore.  (Is that east or west of the IDL?  I'd better research it.)  Then we could sit and rest a while and thank God for all He's done for us and tell Him again what a great Boss he's been to us all.

Yep, I think I'll take today off work.  I have some shopping to do.  (But I'll keep the receipts just in case.)  *wink*

S