The Napolean Complex canine-ified

I seem to have a new not-so-secret admirer, namely one Mr. Luke The Wonder Dog.  I'm wondering if he knows I'm a dude, too?  So far he's reserved his leg humping for K, but I'm wondering if that's where our relationship is headed also?

He's apparently decided that I'm more comfortable to lie on than his pet bed.  If I'm on the computer for more than just a few minutes he's beside me standing on his hind legs, wanting me to pick him up.  Then when I do he walks from my lap right up my chest and gets in my face.  This causes me to lean my desk chair as far back as it will go, trying to get a little face-to-face separation.  

By this time he has me right where he wants me at about a 45 degree angle.  Next he plops down and proceeds to settle in for a nice nap. 

I guess I should be glad he's an 8 lb Yorkshire Terrier and not some big honkin' Mastiff or something.

Next he'll probably want me to fan him with palm fronds and drop kibble into his mouth.  What happened to the days when your dog would bring YOU your slippers, or the newspaper, or maybe a beer?  I think I'm being played!

S

The biggest mis-match of all time....

No, this is not a post about my sense of fashion.

This morning I took Luke the Wonderdog out for his usual morning stroll around the 'hood.  HIS hood, or so he thinks.  Seems he hasn't yet noticed he's a Yorkshire terrier weighing in at a mere solid 8 pounds.  There are some regulars we see every day out walking, too, like Oliver the bulldog, Angel the little fluffy "thing", The Lady Who Won't Talk To Anyone and her long-haired dachshund, and a few others.  They all pay their respects to Luke, and he lets them use his sidewalk.   Vivre et laisse vivre.

Today there was a new kid on the block, a Mastiff.  He was HUGE!  And yes, it was most definitely a "he".  I didn't have my camera with me, but as best I can remember he looked something like this:

He was on the other side of the street checking out the smells of his new neighbors when he and Luke spotted each other at the same time.  Luke immediately widened his stance and stood a 1/4" taller as though saying, "Did I say you could look at me?  Did I?"

The stare-down lasted a good minute.  I don't know if the Mastiff actually blinked first or if he just really, really had to go pee, but he broke things off and went looking for a suitable tree, and Luke went back to sniffing bugs, about the only things outside that are smaller than him.  

One of these days I'm gonna have to sit Luke down and explain to him how the jungle works, but for today at least, I was proud of the boy.  :)

Happy Friday everyone!

S

Luke the Wonderdog vs a ball

Who Are You? with EDIT

I was recently tagged by Joe of CrankyOldMan to participate in this 25 question "getting to know you" exercise.  As there doesn't seem to be a male version of this questionnaire I guess I'm stuck with this one.  But, never one to back down from a challenge, I'll give it a shot....

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
San Antonio, Texas

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?
Yes, the Scott family, the first people to befriend my parents when they moved to North Texas.

IF YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?
Three daughters, ages 36, 33, and 30.

HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?
One, Luke, a Yorkshire Terrier.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST INJURY?
Injury?  My worst "medical issue" was a series of detached retina's in my left eye.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I float.  I can't swim along on the bottom of a pool. When I try I shoot back up to the surface.  Friends use this as proof that I'm full of hot air.  ;)

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?
Probably brownies.  Really, if it comes in a box with instructions and requires no more than 3 ingredients, I can bake the heck out of it.  I'm a regular Freddy Crocker.

FAVORITE FAST FOOD?
Fuzzy's Tacos.  I love their tempura shrimp tacos.  And with a slogan like this (for real)....

....how could I NOT like it?

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Yes, and no.  I'd love to, but after my detached retina problems a few years ago my doc said no activities with an abrupt stop at the end.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their eyes and smile.  And then if I find they have a good sense of humor, too, so much the better.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The last time I saw one of those Humane Society commercials that showed abused/neglected/abandoned dogs.  *snif*

ANY CURRENT WORRIES?
Probably financial security issues.  I've made and lost multiple fortunes (?) in my life.  I guess now I'm just paranoid.

NAME 3 DRINKS THAT YOU DRINK REGULARLY.
Coke Zero, Arnold Palmer Half & Half Iced Tea/Lemonade, and Trader Joe's Caffe Latte.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?
While I don't read many books (I prefer magazines) I'd have to say something by Frederick Forsyth or Tom Clancy.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?
Aaaargh!  I mean, sure.

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Rich, very high quality leather, especially when covering the seats of a vintage car.

WHY DO YOU BLOG?
To meet people; to write something that might get people thinking and talking and hopefully smiling, too.

WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Amazing Grace, by the pipes/drums/brass of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards. (Hear it here.  Be sure and wait until the brass kicks in.  Wow!)

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm hard to get close to.  I have lots of "friends", but very few really, really CLOSE friends.  And I talk too much.

FAVORITE HOBBY?
Today I'd have to say reading, blogging, and activities involving automobiles.  A few years ago I would have answered anything involving aviation, but my eye/retina problems have made that past tense.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?
Someone who can make me laugh, and who I can always trust.

NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
I've flown on most of the really great/historic aircraft of World War II.

     LATE EDIT:  I have one "trap" (landing) and one "cat shot" (catapult launch) from a US Navy aircraft carrier at sea.  I'll have to tell that story some other time.

ANY PET PEEVES?
Bad renditions of the Star Spangled Banner; people who drive slower than the posted speed limit.

WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?
Watching my dog watch the Westminster Dog Show on TV last night.  Actually I find humor everywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The instructions say I'm now supposed to tag 10 other people and challenge them to reveal 25 things about themselves, too.  While many of these have already been tagged elsewhere, I'm gonna tag 'em again anyway.  Folks, in no particular order....you're up:

PT Dilloway

Betina/Pixel Peeper @ Thoughts From My Corner of the Couch

Old Geezer @ Old Geezers Out to Lunch

Dana/Bug @ Bugs Eye View

Dr. Mike @ Child of a Frosty Morning

Bruce @ Oddball Observations

Jim @ Suldog

Doug @ The Voice Inside My Eye

Jimmy @ Jimmy's Opinion

Ben @ BenB

And finally, James Bond @ Skyfall.com (just in case he reads my blog.)

Adios y'all....

S

She's created a monster!

If you look up "Pain in the Ass" in a medical encyclopedia, this is what you'll see....K's dog Luke.

I know, your first reaction is, "He's so cute, all dressed up in his Christmas sweater, posing for his Christmas card center spread."  But I'm tellin' ya, he wakes up at O-dark-thirty every morning, having had 8 hours +/- to think up ways to just pester the hell out of me.

He's an attention whore.  You wanna read or watch something on TV?  Not without his blessing you don't!   If he wants to play or eat or just be stared at for a while, he will hound you (terrier you?) until he gets his way.  He's a whiner.  Dang, he has that little squeal down to a science.  I swear he knows exactly at what pitch my ears start to bleed, and he can hit it like an opera singer every time.  OUCH!  Are all Yorkshire Terriers like that?

I just thought of something:  You think K's trying to kill me?  "Death by Yorkie"?  *hmm....I do have insurance*

When K's home she'll play with him, but if I get home before her I have to take him for a long walk, the goal being to wear him out so he'll sleep and leave me alone.  Never mind that it wears me out, too, and makes ME want to sleep.  

Next time I want one of those kinds of dogs like in the TV commercials, the kind that will bring you a beer from the fridge or hide the remote from the missus so she can't switch over to one of her reality shows.  

That's what I want.  But I probably won't get one.  This one will likely outlive me, out of spite.

But, yeah, I guess he is kinda cute. Dammit!  ;)

S

Luke the voyeur

Luke discovers the Animal Planet channel....is completely star struck.

Public Enemy #1

Luke, aka "The Lukester",  'lil Buddy, "you little bastard",  PITA, and finally Public Enemy #1.

This is Kelly's dog,  Luke.  Most of the time he and I get along fine, and when we do, I just call him "Luke".  Sometimes we get really chummy and I call him "The Lukester".

He sleeps on his own fluffy blanket at the foot of our bed.  We're careful not to kick him, and we all sleep in peaceful coexistence.

At 4 AM this morning when he woke up and started walking around our bed, he became "'lil Buddy", as in "Go back to sleep 'lil Buddy".  It's not time yet."

When he woke me up AGAIN at 5:18 he became "you little bastard", as in "It's still dark outside.  Go back to sleep you little bastard."

When he was jumping around and whining at 6-something he became PITA, as in "OK, OK, I'll take you outside.  You're a Pain In The Ass, you know that?"

After he peed a thimbleful and chased bugs for a while we went back inside and I tried to go back to sleep, but his incessant whining got me up again.  I closed the bedroom door so at least K could sleep, and I "slept" sitting upright in my big chair while PITA had his breakfast and roamed the house.

Around 7-ish I gave up.  He won.  His whining and "talking" and demand....not "request", but DEMAND....that I play "chase the mouse" with him meant any more sleep this Sunday morning was out of the question.  At that moment of realization, PITA officially became "Public Enemy #1".

He should be appearing on "America's Most Wanted" any week now.

S

It was sheer pandolerium!

This was the scene yesterday at the new Trader Joe's that opened in Plano, just a couple of miles away from us.  We had dinner out last night, then thought we'd drive by TJ's and check it out.  It was crazy!  People began camping out the night before to be among the first ones inside on opening day.  We didn't dare buy anything because there were 20 people deep at every check out.  We just did a quick reconnoiter, found the snack aisle and the Three Buck Chuck (wine) display, then fought our way back outside.  Whew!  Maybe we'll try again in a couple o' weeks. 

One disappointment:  It's a tiny little store.  I thought it would be like a regular grocery store, but it's maybe 20% as large as Central Market or Whole Foods.  Maybe they're trading quantity for quality.  I'll let you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took Luke The Yorkshire Terrier out this morning as usual to find the weather had changed dramatically from yesterday's 104 degrees.  As forecast, the wind was howling at 20+ mph and the temp was in the mid-60's.  I was lovin' it, but the Lukester....not so much.  The poor little dude would find himself a nice tree and hoist his leg....and then he'd blow over.  Another tree, another try, same result.  (His "trees" were more like a big bushes, but when you're as small as he is, I guess even a bush looks like a tree.)  I finally took him over to the construction site a block away where he used one of their big orange "road closed" barrels as a wind break and completed his mission. I wish I'd had my camera....it was a hoot!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday they opened a 41-mile-long stretch of toll road between San Antonio and Austin, TX.  With a speed limit of 85 mph it's billed as "the fastest road in America".  I hate to be the one to break the bad news to the toll road authorities, but no one is going to pay money to slow down to 85 when they can drive 90 (illegally) for free everywhere else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Going back outside to get me some more cool.  :)  

Have a great Saturday, everyone.

S

How do you walk a terrier?

You don't.

I've always envied those people who can take a brisk walk and have their dog trot along beside them.  Those of us who have terriers are not "those people".  We just amble from clump of grass to pile of rocks, our faithful mutt sniffing diligently, hoping to be able to uncover one of the rare mice terriers were bred to find. 

The fun is when they actually find a mouse.  A few years ago our dog at that time, Emma Belle (a miniature schnauzer), found one that had come in through the dryer vent into the utility room.  It made it's way to the kitchen pantry where it got in to some dry pasta, then tried to make a run for it back  under the washing machine.  Those little bastards can scoot!  Emma...not so fast.  She was running in place, slipping on the hardwood floors, while the mouse pulled away.   For the better part of a day Emma stood guard, keeping it holed up.  It eventually ate some rat poison I put out and that was the end. 

I wonder what Emma thought of all that?  "So THAT'S what I've spent my life sniffing for!"  I suspect she felt pretty darn proud of herself.  I guess that's why I just let Luke (the Yorkie) amble along like he does.  I'm sorta hoping he'll find something.  It would probably scare the crap out of him, but I would find it quite entertaining.  ;)

S

World....meet Luke

Many years of nagging persistent persuasion finally paid off for K this past weekend.  She got her dog.  When she and I met she already had Emma.  For whatever reason, Emma bonded with me instantly.  I couldn't go from one room to the next without her tagging along.  K said I "stole" her dog.  What can I say?  I have that effect on women.  *sarcasm at it's finest!*

For reasons I'll never understand K wanted a tiny little Yorkshire Terrier.  It's no secret this would not have been my chosen breed, but, hey, it's her dog.  I like my dogs a little more "robust".  I mean, if the canine world was a 9-course meal, Yorkies would have trouble qualifying as an appetizer. Maybe more like a mint on a pillow at bedtime. 

Some day I'll get me another dog, probably another mini schnauzer as I like everything about them.  But Luke is here, now, so I've got to walk a tightrope.  Of course I want to help take care of PLD  (Poor Little Dude), but I can't get so chummy with him that he likes me more than K.  If that happens again I will be relegated to the dog house.  (I wonder if those things come in an XL?  With maybe a big screen and a mini-fridge?)

For now Luke is behaving himself very well.  He and I can circle each other for a while longer this morning, then I must go earn money for more kibbles.  I'll be back later with a damage report.  ;)

S