Cool wheels, dude!

A few years ago I built a home in the Lakewood section of Dallas.  It's a very eclectic, free-spirited kind of neighborhood.  A doctor might live next door to a buttoned-down CEO, and across from an "indoor horticulturalist".  *wink*  They were all over the board.

There was one guy in the neighborhood who always intrigued me.  I named him Leo, just because.  Internet guy above reminds me of him.  Plump, wild hair, tie-dyed everything, obviously an old, unrepentant hippie, and he rode either a bicycle or a little moped, depending on whether or not he was in a hurry (3 mph vs 6 mph).  I rather envied him, despite the fact that I couldn't be more un-like him.  (Mr. "Stick-Up-Your-Ass", that's what K calls me.)

New topic:  Bicycles.  They appeal to me.  The thought of hopping on a bike and going up to the corner market for a few last minute things, or to the coffee house for a latte....that sounds fun.  Never mind that one block north of where I live is a 4-lane boulevard, east is a 6-lane boulevard, and to the west an autobahn, and traffic moves at 70 mph on all three.  (Speed limits are apparently viewed as just a suggestion.)  And we don't have bike lanes.  Cyclists here I'm convinced have suicidal tendencies....if the traffic doesn't get 'em, the heat will.

The one thing that doesn't appeal to me about bicycles is that damn seat.  What sadistic bastard invented those?  Ouch!

What I need is something more like this.  Now doesn't that look more comfortable?  Mount something like that on a bike like this....

....and you might get my attention.  Mount one of these on it, too....

....and I might be willing to risk it.  

A couple months without a haircut, some snazzier t-shirts, a few more cheeseburgers, and I could be Leo!  (And Frisco, TX , the winter home of Thurston Howell III, would never be the same.  Haha!)  What was it Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman said?...."Why be normal?"  

Tempting.

Peace, out.  ;) 

NOTE:  This post was inspired by my friend Dana "The Bug" who was recently presented with a new bike by her thoughtful spousal unit, the good Dr. M.

And they want me to pay for this?

I don't understand the concept of self-deprivation and the intentional infliction of pain.  I was reading the new issue of Outside magazine because it had several articles on weather, a subject that fascinates me.  The ads for all the "adventure trips" also fascinated me, but not in a good way.

"We'll have you up and on your bike and peddling your little legs off by 4 AM.  You'll ride 100 miles before we let you stop for a granola bar and some thick, nasty-tasting carb drink.  Mmmmm.  Then it's back on the road, the goal to totally numb your body before the sun comes up.  You haven't hurt until you experience 110 degree heat while peddling for your life wearing a 1/2" wide bicycle seat like it was a cheap thong." 

"And if you ever feel like dropping out, just look around....rattlesnakes and scorpions as far as you can see.  Talk about getting your second wind!  And did we mention the entire 4-day trip is uphill?"

"When you successfully complete the course you'll receive this fine parchment memorializing your achievement, as well as a fake gold medal on a ribbon and an oval-shaped little bumper sticker for your car that says '521.6'.  Your friends will see you in a whole new light!  All this for the all-inclusive price of just $3,400.  Or share the misery and bring a buddy for just $3,399 more."

Or you could just do this:  Send me all the money in your bank account, and I'll send over an ex-con truck driver I know who will beat the crap out of you with an ax handle.  Certificate included.   ;)

S