And they want me to pay for this?

I don't understand the concept of self-deprivation and the intentional infliction of pain.  I was reading the new issue of Outside magazine because it had several articles on weather, a subject that fascinates me.  The ads for all the "adventure trips" also fascinated me, but not in a good way.

"We'll have you up and on your bike and peddling your little legs off by 4 AM.  You'll ride 100 miles before we let you stop for a granola bar and some thick, nasty-tasting carb drink.  Mmmmm.  Then it's back on the road, the goal to totally numb your body before the sun comes up.  You haven't hurt until you experience 110 degree heat while peddling for your life wearing a 1/2" wide bicycle seat like it was a cheap thong." 

"And if you ever feel like dropping out, just look around....rattlesnakes and scorpions as far as you can see.  Talk about getting your second wind!  And did we mention the entire 4-day trip is uphill?"

"When you successfully complete the course you'll receive this fine parchment memorializing your achievement, as well as a fake gold medal on a ribbon and an oval-shaped little bumper sticker for your car that says '521.6'.  Your friends will see you in a whole new light!  All this for the all-inclusive price of just $3,400.  Or share the misery and bring a buddy for just $3,399 more."

Or you could just do this:  Send me all the money in your bank account, and I'll send over an ex-con truck driver I know who will beat the crap out of you with an ax handle.  Certificate included.   ;)

S