Smooth jazz and Italian coffee

K is a recruiter for a major national company, and recently one of her district managers sent her a very nice Bose radio to say "thank you" for sending him good candidates for a very hard-to-staff area on the East coast.  Apparently they're working out just fine and his bonus was substantial.  (Anything Bose isn't cheap, you know.)

Very nice of him, to say the least.  :)

This week is "Italia Week" at Central Market.  This is a high-end grocery store that carries a variety of specialty produce and such....no paper towels or laundry detergent-type merchandise.

This is the type of theme stuff they do, in this case an Italian guy (?) walking around the store playing accordion music.  (Do Italians wear berets, too?  I thought that was just the French?)

Their bakery offered lots of specialty things to celebrate Italia Week, like this Chocolate Chocolate Biscotti.  (Are you paying attention Dana and Betina?)

K bought herself some Italian Coffee.  I wish she hadn't.

This stuff should come with a warning label:  CAUTION....DRINKING THIS ITALIAN COFFEE WILL MAKE YOUR MOUTH MOVE INCESSANTLY AND AT SUPERSONIC SPEED.

This morning we had the Bose thingy tuned to smooth jazz on Pandora.  It was a nice calming background to compliment my morning newspapers.  Then she came into the Great Room.

"I'm gonna call my mother now and tell her all about the new underwear I bought over the weekend.  Hey, since we're going over to see her next weekend for Mother's Day maybe I can take her to Macy's so she can get herself some new underwear, too.  I really like these....they're so cool, perfect for summer wear."

*the radio gets turned up*

"I'll be ready to go to work in just a minute.  I need to get me a new tube of Chap Stick.  You know I can't leave the house without my Chap Stick.  My lips dry out so quickly.  I'm thinking it's the low humidity in our office.  They keep that place so cold!  I'll be ready in just a minute....hold on."

*the radio gets turned up some more*

"Oh, and I need a little plate to take to work. I bought some of those Italian cookies, and I'm gonna put them on a plate.  Italian cookies need to be served on a plate.  I'm pretty sure that's how the Italians do it.  Not that I've ever been to Italy, but that just seems like that's something they would do, you know....being Italian and all."

*the radio is now maxed out*

"Tonight we're having sausage....you know....the kind we found at Central Market that's won awards in Houston?  And they apparently know their sausage in Houston, 'cause that is GOOD stuff.   Oh, and sweet potatoes.  Remember when you used to not eat sweet potatoes?  Boy have you come around!  They're SO good, huh?  It's that little bit of brown sugar on top that does it.  OK, I'm leaving now."

*Kiss-kiss. Love you, mean it*

Wonder how long-lasting Italian caffeine is?  Tell me again how laid back and slow moving the Italians are?  Don't they drink their own coffee?

Now where was I?  Yes, smooth jazz and the newspaper.

Have a good day everyone.  :)

S

Acceptable Valentine's gifts

Today's the day, guys.  Before the sun sets you'll be either a hero or a goat.  Play your cards right, bring her an appropriate gift, and your future could be filled with fireworks.  Mess it up and you're on the couch with a bag of Cheetos as your only companion.

The deciding difference is "THE GIFT".  Obviously flowers, candy, a fragrance, jewelry, a Hallmark card (but only Hallmark....any other will get you labeled a cheap slug), and / or a nice meal at an upscale restaurant should suffice.  

Every guy who can fog a mirror should know by now that household appliances (think vacuum cleaners or toasters) are a sure way to have your dinner handed to you for the foreseeable future in a little bag by a high-school kid at a drive-thru window.  Fuggetaboutit.

What about the thousands of other potential gifts you could choose from?  My lady, for example, would be quite happy if I took her on a shopping spree at a bookstore.  Or pushed the grocery cart for her as she perused the aisles at Central Market where they stock all those crappy "healthy" foods women seem so enamored with.  OK, a little off-beat maybe, but still has the potential to get me a spot on the king size mattress.  Just remember it's a very fine line between "hero" and "goat".

Tickets to a play or musical should be safe, but personally, I'd rather take my chances with the couch.  *Oh, the horror!*

Sporting goods?  Absolutely NOT!  While some women might like the idea, many would read something into it that never crossed your mind, like "So you think I'm fat, huh?  You think I need to work out?"  Ouch!  Don't chance it.

A vacation trip might be well received, but you've got to think it through very carefully.  Nothing near a fish-filled river, a sports stadium, a race track, or any locale that has a tasting room attached to a distillery.  The only acceptable destination involves a chase lounge on a beach or the top deck of a big-assed boat. 

There are probably a few other gifts that might impress her, but I suggest you just put that "I'll be different this year" idea back in the can (and that includes personalized headgear after I crashed and burned yesterday) and ante up some flowers / chocolate, etc.  

As I've learned many times before I got old and wise:  "Man cannot live by Cheetos alone."

Happy Valentine's everyone!  :)

S