English is one phucked up langwige.

K's phone message "ding" went off this morning at O-dark thirty.  It was an automated text from a weather app letting us know that today would be a high pollen day.  Sure enough, after I'd been up for just a few minutes I could feel something percolating in my sinuses.   A runny nose, a couple of sneezes, then the flowing mucous made it to my throat and I began coughing.  

I hate that stuff....flim.  That got me to thinking.  If it was spelled as it sounds it would be "flim", right?  But it isn't.  It's spelled "phlegm".  Really?

Are we really the bad spellers, or is it "them"?

What word butcher could have ever taken a word that sounds like "flim" and turned it into "phlegm"?  What kind of phucked up langwige is English anyway?

How many people do you know, native born Americanos....er....Americans, who have been speaking English all their lives and still can't spell "believe" or "cantaloupe" or "maneuver"?  English spelling is just bizarre!  I have no idea how someone could learn English as a second langwige....I mean language.

I remember when I was a kid in school and I was stumped with a word my teacher would tell me to look it up in a dictionary.  That made no sense to me.  If I knew how to spell it in order to look it up in a dictionary, I wouldn't need to look it up in a dictionary.  DUH!

Is it too late to scrap the English language spellings we have now and make up new ones....ones that are more "user friendly"?  Or should I say more "user frendle"?

Ya think I might have too much time on my hands to think about stuff like this?  Does anybody besides me think about stuff like this?  No?  I'll bet George Carlin would have.  

Dang, I miss him.

S