English is one phucked up langwige.

K's phone message "ding" went off this morning at O-dark thirty.  It was an automated text from a weather app letting us know that today would be a high pollen day.  Sure enough, after I'd been up for just a few minutes I could feel something percolating in my sinuses.   A runny nose, a couple of sneezes, then the flowing mucous made it to my throat and I began coughing.  

I hate that stuff....flim.  That got me to thinking.  If it was spelled as it sounds it would be "flim", right?  But it isn't.  It's spelled "phlegm".  Really?

Are we really the bad spellers, or is it "them"?

What word butcher could have ever taken a word that sounds like "flim" and turned it into "phlegm"?  What kind of phucked up langwige is English anyway?

How many people do you know, native born Americanos....er....Americans, who have been speaking English all their lives and still can't spell "believe" or "cantaloupe" or "maneuver"?  English spelling is just bizarre!  I have no idea how someone could learn English as a second langwige....I mean language.

I remember when I was a kid in school and I was stumped with a word my teacher would tell me to look it up in a dictionary.  That made no sense to me.  If I knew how to spell it in order to look it up in a dictionary, I wouldn't need to look it up in a dictionary.  DUH!

Is it too late to scrap the English language spellings we have now and make up new ones....ones that are more "user friendly"?  Or should I say more "user frendle"?

Ya think I might have too much time on my hands to think about stuff like this?  Does anybody besides me think about stuff like this?  No?  I'll bet George Carlin would have.  

Dang, I miss him.

S

Why doesn't Blogger have a font like this?

I was walking the pooch the other day and noticed this truck parked across the street.  I had to do a double...triple...then quadruple check before I could read what it said.  Can you read it?

At first I thought it said "Live Frat" and I thought it was some kind of promotion for college fraternities.   Well, that's just dumb.

Then I thought it said "Live Fart", which was even dumber.  Why would you want to advertise farting unless you were George Carlin trying to sell CD's?

I finally figured out it said "Live Fast".  But here's the problem:  If this guy is driving down the highway at 70+ mph and he wants people to see his logo and call him, they have to be able to read it in 2 seconds, max.  I'm guessing the "Live Fast" phone won't be ringing off the wall.  Maybe the Live Fart phone, but not the Live Fast phone.

I wonder if the Live Fart....er....Fast.... guy started out his sign painting career as a graffiti artist?  Am I the only one who can't read most graffiti?  Does this ^ say anything?  Is it some sort of protest sign?  If so, what are they protesting?  Or are they selling something?  I have no idea.  

K always accuses me of being a stuffed shirt.  Actually what she says is I have a stick up my a__.  If I have something to say, or sell, I write it plainly and keep the message simple.  If you can't read it in a couple of seconds it loses it's impact.  It's worthless. Old fashioned maybe, but it works.

Trust me.  I know all about signs.

S

Back In The Saddle Again

I never knew Gene Autry was talking about bankers when he recorded this song.

Short recap:  The banking industry persuaded (bribed) lawmakers into relaxing rules and regulations that had kept them honest for the previous 50 years, allowing them to originate all kinds of highly profitable but also highly risky investments.  After massive profits were skimmed off the top the scheme collapsed, and taxpayers had to step in and take on massive debt to bail them out.

Lawmakers said "never again!" and drafted new rules that put curbs on big banks.  Of course the bankers fought back, wanting to keep their mega-profit machine up and running.  They won.  This was in the news this morning:

WASHINGTON-- Bank lobbyists are not leaving it to lawmakers to draft legislation that softens financial regulations.  Instead, the lobbyists are helping to write it themselves.

One bill that sailed through the House Financial Services Committee this month--over the objections of the Treasury Department--was essentially Citigroup's, according to e-mails reviewed by The New York Times.  The bill would exempt broad swaths of trades from new regulation.

In a sign of Wall Street's resurgent influence in Washington, Citigroup's recommendations were reflected in more than 70 lines of the House committee's 85-line bill.  Two crucial paragraphs, prepared by Citigroup in conjunction with other Wall Street banks, were copied nearly word for word.  (Lawmakers changed two words to make them plural.)

Remember last November when candidates told us if we would just vote for them, they'd get the government out of our lives?  They double-crossed us.  What they really meant was, "Vote for me and I'll give the bankers whatever they want."  And we bought it.  Sure, they'll let us fight over the social issues of the day, but if there's money involved, the bankers call the shots. 

I think George Carlin was right:

Face it....the bankers own us, lock, stock, and barrel.  We're trapped.

S