Sunday, May 28, 2017

Shopping is for women

I recently had the misfortune of going to the mall where I was reminded again of just how skewed retail stores are in favor of women.  Go into Macy's or Nordstrom's or Dillard's and it's obvious.  Quite frankly, I think those big stores would be happy if men just stayed out of the way, or better yet, just stayed home and sent their women out to shop for them.

Think about it:  On the first floor you'll find perfume, tall women's shirts, short women's pants, large women's casual clothes, skinny women's bras, and jewelry.  Upstairs you'll find petite women's professional clothes, skinny women's beach attire, tall women's skirts, short women's shirts, large women's evening attire, and most undergarments.  Women's flip flops and boots are on one floor, and sneakers, sandals, and all other shoes are...umm...scattered around.  Same with socks and belts.  Oh, and purses...I think they're grouped by size...S, M, L, and Luggage, on at least two floors.

Meanwhile, the men's section takes up about 2500 square feet on the second floor.  (Women are allocated what seems like 800,000 square feet.)  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is there.  Shirts (LS, SS, dress, polo, casual, and tee's), suits, pants (dress, business casual, jeans, and shorts) swim suits, shoes, socks, underwear, and belts.  You name it...if it isn't in that 2500 square foot section, they don't have it.  Go home.

This is because men are disciplined shoppers.  We go into "our" section, find what we're looking for, buy it, and leave.  It ain't rocket science.  Women define "impulse shoppers".  They buy the shirt they went in for, then look around and start squealing..."Oooo, look, I want, I want, I want!"

Want more proof retailers prize women shoppers?  A man's blazer is, say, $200, while THE SAME blazer in a (smaller) women's size sells for $350.'s $40.  Women's...$95. Men's underwear...3-pack for $20.  Women's underwear, $15 each minimum.  Cha Ching!

And have you ever noticed there are no windows in those big retail stores?  Men will walk in, turn left and right and left and right a few times, look around and realize they're lost, then panic and look for a window to try and figure out which way is north, and therefore where the door is.  They want to traumatize men so we'll never come back.  Women could care less if they ever find a door.  They just figure at some point during their wandering around they'll find one, and that's good enough.  No hurry.

The bottom line for men is this:  Admit defeat.  Malls don't want us there getting in the women's way.  Stay home.  Shop online.  It's our only sane option.



  1. Malls don't carry my sizes anyway.

  2. I very rarely want to browse - I like the surgical strike - in, out and home again. I much prefer online shopping, but sometimes you just have to go into a store. Sigh.

  3. That settles it: when shopping, I'm a man. All these choices and sizes and options overwhelm me.

    In my next life, I'll be a man. Or a nurse who wears scrubs all day long.