"Normal" is a relative term

Looks like things are returning to normal here.  Over the past week we buried my 96-year old aunt (on Tuesday) and yesterday we laid to rest my 96-year old step-mom, too.  They both just wore out and died peacefully....they did it right!

Interesting factoid:  If I understood the story correctly, my step-mom invented the "conference call".  It was during WWII and she was working for the Southwestern Bell phone company.

  
She figured out a way to plug in the wires to the switchboard in such a way that she could connect calls from servicemen to multiple people on the other end at the same time, enabling them to all hear their loved one during the very brief calls the soldiers were allowed.  

Later the phone company techies of the day ran with her idea and, in the true spirit of capitalism, perfected a way to charge us extra for it.

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They are officially zero.  I'm talking about the odds that I will ever travel to India.  Before I read today's paper my odds of visiting India were about the same slightly lower than my sweeping Scarlett Johansson off her feet and driving off into the sunset with her beside me in my vintage Ferrari.

It seems in the northern Indian state of Uttar Prapesh the heat spiked to 117 degrees and the power company shut down.  The story said that on a good day power only works for a couple of hours anyway, but now they don't even get that.

And being the super intelligent folks they are, they rioted, took the electric company employees hostage, and burned down the electric substations.  Yeah, that'll show 'em!

So now they have 200,000,000 people (literally) running around without even their usual 2 hours of electric service a day.  And to make matters worse, I'll bet you $100 the stores are all sold out of deodorant, too.  Man, they can't buy a break!

Nope, sorry. No air conditioning, no Scotty boy.  Texas in the summer is bad enough.  I'm not going looking for trouble.

Stay cool everyone.  :)

S

Back in the saddle again....

Looks like I'm in good company at least. 

It seems the last few days I've been afflicted with the "Disease of Kings", aka gout.  My right foot / big toe started hurting like hell, as if I dropped a 50 pound weight on it, except without all the black and blue.  The doc diagnosed it and gave me some meds, and I'm much better now.

In the olden days it was usually royalty that had gout, mainly because they were the only ones who could afford red meat and alcohol, two of the prime culprits that cause gout.  But in my case, however, it seems the problem is Coca Cola's.  

My red meat and alcohol intake are very modest....a few beers or glasses of wine a week, depending on what is served for dinner, and the same for my red meat consumption....but I buy and drink Cokes by the case.  And a check on the World Wide Web says that "high fructose sweetened drinks" are bad, bad, bad for causing gout.  Looks like it's adios, my good canned buddies.  :(

Wonder if this means I'll have to stop wearing my crown, too?  (Just as well.  Most of the little rhinestones have already fallen out.)

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As you all know, I'm a news junkie.  Some of what I take away is very serious stuff, but some is just comical, to wit:

The NYT headline read:  "After Outside Pressure, Rebels in Congo Lay Down Their Arms".

Ummm....it looks to me like their arms decided to just lay down and surrender all by themselves.  I'm guessing the term "maintenance" doesn't translate into Congolese.

And the BBC is reporting a new warning put out by the UN that says our output of atmospheric clogging "stuff" is again setting records.  They go on to say much of this is due to the well known problem of cattle flatulence. (That's a $3 term for cow farts.)  

As anyone who has driven anywhere even close to a West Texas cattle feedlot will testify, it's a serious problem for sure.  So why hasn't someone thought of just producing a heavy-duty version of Beano for bovines?  

And the same article says that much of the global emission of greenhouse gasses is due to he way farmers in may parts of the world improperly plough their land, citing this photo ^ as an example.

Just thinking out loud here....instead of just throwing out billions of dollars in foreign aid money around the world to see it siphoned off by the corrupt dictators and generals, why don't we just start sending them boat loads of John Deere's and Massey Ferguson's?  Jobs for us, more food for them, cleaner air for us all.  DUH!  This ain't rocket surgery, people!

See, I've already fixed our global warming problem, and it isn't even noon yet.  (Note to Nobel committee:  That's Scott with two "T"s  :)

S

Life is too short to eat bland food

But did he miss the squirrel?

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It was bound to happen.  After nearly 63 years, eating super-spicy foods has caused my digestive system to revolt.  

I love jalapenos and Tabasco and all sorts of combinations of spices that give food a kick.  Life is just too short to eat bland food, but apparently I've worn out my esophagus lining.  Yesterday my doctor gave me a new pill for breakfast.  All I remember is it starts with Om___.  He said to go ahead and party on.   "Better living through chemistry!"

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For a nation that professes to be "Christian", we're sure not showing any compassion for Paula Deen, are we?  She said she was sorry, that it happened a long time ago, and I haven't heard anyone come forward to say that's the way she talks or acts today.  So is she going to be an outcast the rest of her life?  Apparently peer pressure and political correctness trumps "forgiveness".  

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What to do?  There's a big car show tomorrow at the Frisco kickball stadium.  Who in their right mind plans a car show....outdoors.... for this time of year, in TEXAS?  From noon to 5 pm no less.  Didn't they get the memo about global warming?  (You know I'm gonna go anyway, right?  ;)

Have a great weekend everyone.  Stay cool.  ;)

S