Why do news stories always include the participant's age?
"Mary Jones, 46, was in the Ajax department store on Tuesday afternoon shopping for linens when a chandelier fell from the ceiling striking her, killing her instantly. Sales Assistant Suzie Cumquat, 32, was explaining thread count to her when the incident occurred."
Does it matter how old they were? Mary's still dead, and Suzie still missed her commission.
Why is it always referred to as "the South of France"?
I don't say, "I live in the North of Texas, but I attended university in the West of Texas." Or "I prefer the West of Colorado to the flatlands of the East of Colorado."
They need to stop it. It sounds snooty.
Why, when you're far away from home on vacation, will someone ask you where you're from, and you'll answer Dallas (or LA or Chicago or New York), and then they'll ask, "Ohhhh!!!.....do you know Rick Finkelbooger?"
Really?? There are 6.5 MILLION people here! Thinkaboutit. (I'll always answer, "No, but is he one of the Finkelbooger's from the East of Texas?")
Why do they put 40 cookies in a package, then tell you the correct serving size is TWO?
Really, TWO? That's just enough to piss you off.
Why do they put an EPA mileage estimate on the window stickers of expensive luxury cars?
People who can afford a $250,000 V-12 Ferrari or Lamborghini or Aston Martin don't give a rat's ass about how much gas it's going to take to move it down the road. If they did they'd just buy a Toyota Prius and put some cool wheels on it.
Why is the deepest sleep right before the alarm goes off?
Or is it just me? All I know is it makes getting out of bed sooooo hard.
Why do people read this drivel I write?
I dunno, but I thank you. ;)
S
Yes, and today's drivel made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteOh, I went to school with a Rick Finkelbooger, did you know him?
Tall guy...about 6'4, red hair, great basketball player, recruited out of high school by Baylor and Kansas State? No, never heard of him.
ReplyDeleteS
I give up. Why do they do that?
ReplyDeleteRoz
PS Why does my laptop keys do things I don't want it too?
OMGosh....ROZ! Where have you been? You don't call...you don't write...
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting. Keep in touch?
S
LOL - when I came back from Zambia I had people asking if I knew so & so - and so & so was in Nigeria or some such. I would just explain about it being a rather large continent...
ReplyDeleteI think we found the replacement for Andy Rooney!
ReplyDeleteI'm betting you feel much better after the emotional core dump. By the way, the next time you see Rick Finkelbooger would you tell him that I haven't forgotten the money he owes me. And forty cookies are ONE serving, maybe two. Never more.
ReplyDeleteThey read it because those are all good questions, Scott.
ReplyDeleteI have always resented having to tell people I live "in the backside of Prescott Valley." The term predates our life here.
I'm thinking Rick must be Nick Finkelboogers younger twin brother, they are two years apart because of the rain in South of Dallas.
ReplyDeleteSeriously I have just started reading this drivel and am proud to be here.
Excellent post.
I don't know Rick Finkelbooger or what kind of gas mileage he gets with his car, but I'd like to know why he parks on driveways and drives on parkways!
ReplyDeletePeople from the East of Texas do odd things Peeper. Must be the water.
ReplyDeleteS