Monday, September 9, 2013

She was in her element


My experience yesterday reminded me of the play I saw years ago called Defending the Caveman.  Basically it was just an amplification of the "men are hunters, women are gatherers" theme.  K could have been the female co-star....except it was a one-man show.

Yesterday K went to a department store for some clothes shopping.  What an eye opener!  I don't know how women do it.  How do they even know where to start to look for anything?

A man goes into a department store, he finds everything is all together on the second floor in the northeast corner.  He wants a suit, it's on the second floor, in the northeast corner.  He wants underwear, a belt, a shirt....it's on the second floor, in the northeast corner.  

A man goes in to buy a pair of pants, he goes straight to the second floor, northeast corner, buys his pants, and leaves.  Ten minutes, tops.

A woman goes into a department store, she finds the petite-casuals on the first floor, northwest corner.  Plus-size business attire, second floor, southwest corner.  Summerwear, scattered all over the first floor. Petite-business wear is on the first floor, south side of the building.  Eveningwear?  Try the second floor, behind the double doors, southwest corner.  Close out specials....first floor by the exit doors.  On and on....

*whew*

And once she buys what she went in for, SHE KEEPS SHOPPING FOR THE SAME THING SHE JUST BOUGHT!  Why?  She just bought it.  Go home.

Oooooooh no!   The game has just begun.  Now it's to the other end of the mall to start the same treasure hunt all over again, different store.  And of course she finds something she likes better than what she bought at the first store, which necessitates a return trip to the first store for the obligatory merchandise return.  Apparently a shopping trip isn't a success unless she returns something.  

So if the second store ALWAYS has something better than anything the first store has to offer, why not just make THAT the store you go to first? 

I know I could speed up the process by at least 60%, but when I try to offer my constructive criticism K calmly turns towards me, smiles, and says, "Look at you.  Now look at me.  Go wait in the car."

Yes dear.  :)

S


17 comments:

  1. That's the good thing about having to buy most of my clothes online.

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  2. Trying to understand women? Scott, go stand in the corner!

    One of your best! A three AC* post.


    *audible chuckle

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  3. Dunno how she got you that far in the first place. I am in awe. fin

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  4. I sometimes think that the gauge of a successful marriage is the man's ability to say, "Yes dear." I hate shopping and avoid it whenever I can.

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  5. LOL - that's funny :) My mother LOVED to shop - it wasn't a race or an opportunity to be efficient. It was her life's blood. Me? I shop online as much as possible & just try to do it as quickly as possible if I have to go in person.

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    1. To me shopping is something to be endured, not enjoyed.

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  6. OMG...you are my twin! Well, when it comes to shopping for clothes you are. I hate hate hate it. Just last weekend, I walked through the men's department of a store with my husband, telling him how jealous I was that everything was plain, simple, and logically organized.

    When we got married almost 24 years ago, just the thought of having to shop for a dress gave me fits. I finally walked into a store and said to the sales person: "I need a dress. I'm going to a wedding."

    I have very few clothes...and they all look alike... Wonder if K would be my personal shopper?

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    1. Betina, they ought to put us in charge for a while. We'd have things running smooth, logical, organized, I mean, how hard could it be? ;)

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    2. K said she'd be happy to shop for you. Just send your unlimited credit card to PO Box 75034...;)

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