Thursday, March 27, 2014

"But daaaaad, all the other kids have one. I need one, too. Pleeeeeze?"

OK, I readily admit I'm not a techie.  I hear about new gadgets every day that can do things that don't need doing and wonder, "Why?"  And then I get trampled by the stampede of people rushing to buy these gadgets that do things that don't need doing.  Go figure.

It seems to me the gizmo makers are really scratching their butts these days trying to figure out how to sell people "new and improved" versions of things they already have that are so new they're still in warranty.  Their latest ploy:  Cellphones with curved screens.

"Dad, come check this has a curved screen!"

"Oh dear gawd.  What have you done now?  You sat on it, didn't you?  If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, don't put your phone in your back pocket.  You'll sit on it and break it."

"No dad.  It's new.  I bought it this way.  It's already pre-sat"

"Please tell me you got it off the 'defective / gently used' shelf.  I mean, it IS broken."

"No, it isn't broken.  It's supposed to be this way."

"You paid full price for it that way?"

"Full price?  No!  I paid a premium.  Innit cool?"

"No, it isn't 'cool'.  You got screwed.  You bought a used phone that overheated and partially melted!"

"But it came this way from the factory."

"Bullshit.  If it came from the factory like that, they have a serious quality control problem."

*sigh*  "I read about it in Gizmo Today.  LG has been developing this technology for 3 years."

"No, LG has been dreaming up this story ever since a whole load of their cell phones got hot and warped on the boat ride over."

In my day we called it "putting lipstick on a pig."

I don't get it.

My advice:  Buy LG stock.  Lots of it.  Now.  This is gonna be BIG!  :)



  1. Yeah I don't see the point of a curved screen either but I'm sure people will get really psyched when Apple comes out with one. At this point if Apple literally put lipstick on a pig and called it the "iPig" we'd all have sows running around our houses.

  2. I just checked this out, and the ergonomic design

    "follows the curvature of your face,
    for an outstanding voice and sound experience by reducing the gap between the microphone and your mouth."

    I'll bet you never even knew that the gap between you microphone and your mouth was such a problem!
    I think I automatically rock my wrist slightly to speaking and hearing position. With this phone I can eliminate that rocking wrist motion...OH THANK GOD!! Actually I usually put the phone on speaker so...

  3. I'm a babe in the woods when it comes to new technology. I'm still thrilled with my microwave oven.

  4. Wasn't the old flip phone somewhat curved when open? And it was fun flicking that thing open with your thumb.

  5. It will probably increase sales in glasses or corective lenses in a couple of years.

  6. I still have my original Motorola Flip Phone at home, will check the curve when I get there and take a pic.

  7. Put a strap on it, and we'll be wearing this technology on our heads. Curved phone between our ear and mouth, Google glasses over our eyes...what's next?

  8. The one who brings us a flexible phone, now there's the bazillionaire.