That's because now there's....there's....*deep breath*....a new alarm clock app for your iPhone from Oscar Mayer that wakes you to the sound of sizzling BACON! And with a small add-on accessory you can even get the SMELL of sizzling bacon, too. How cool is that?!?
Is this even legal? It's like showing dope to a dopehead or a bottle of booze to a boozer. Or a lobbyist to a politician.
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Have you ever heard of a Golden BB? It's a "lucky shot", the idea that it's technically possible for one shot from a BB gun to shoot down an airplane if it hits in juuuuust the right place.
This concept popped in to my mind this morning when I took Luke The Wonderdog out for his early dootie call. Something about this electric transformer caught his eye, or more probably his nose, and he went over to check it out.
For a split second I thought, "OH NO...the golden BB! He's gonna raise a leg and douse it! In just the right spot he'll short it out, it will blow up, then things will snowball downhill until the entire city is blacked out. I wonder how much THAT is going to cost me?"
If the mutt is ever that lucky, I'm gonna take him straight to the store what sells lotto tickets and buy a bunch, and have Luke pick the numbers. Cha-Ching!
No such luck. He peed, nothing blew up, and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in. *sigh*
Have a great weekend everyone. :)
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The only way to really get out of bed in the morning would be some Rube Goldberg contraption that would flip the bed over when the alarm clock goes off.
ReplyDeleteScience needs to work on one of those George Jetson machines where I could just get on a conveyor and get showered, shaved, and dressed without doing anything.
DeleteThat i-phone bacon thing is in my Stupid Headline Sunday crap...when I saw it, my first thought was that you would be its first customer.
ReplyDeleteI heard about that bacon app just this morning on the news. I don't get it; you wake up to the smell and sound of bacon sizzling in a skillet but when you crawl to the kitchen there isn't anything cooking on the stove. Sounds like a crummy way to start the morning. And as a morning person I'd probably drive you crazy!
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ReplyDeleteGood thing Luke didn't cause a black out. Imagine how many bacon alarms wouldn"t work.
Very funny post. Need to get that app asap.
ReplyDeleteWhat you need is an app that wakes Kelly before you and sends her to the kitchen to begin cooking bacon.
ReplyDeleteHah - a bacon app. Never heard of such a thing before.... :-p
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