Wednesday, July 23, 2014

"Man shopping" for clothes

Over the past several "semi-retired" years my wardrobe, modest in the best of times, has taken a nose dive.  I can count only three decent sports shirts that I can wear out in the evening or to a casual business meeting.  As I have another meeting tomorrow and they've already seen me as "Larry, Curly, and Moe", I figured it was time to go do a little shopping.

 Whatdayamean "Am I going out looking like this?"

Like many men, I'm not a good shopper.  That's why I rarely do it.  That's also why I usually look like a holocaust survivor, except for the part about being brutally starved.  (Trust me, I DON'T look starved.)  My default version of clothes shopping consists of going to the LL Bean website and buying some new shorts and t-shirts, then waiting for the UPS man to arrive.  Easy peasy.

But today I felt brave and ventured out to the big mall just a couple of blocks away.  I went in to Dillard's first, found the men's department in the back corner, and then found several shirts that looked nice.  The lady whose first language sounded like it was Russian told me they were now 40% off.  Sweet!

I whipped out my wallet and she said, "I'll need your Dillard's card, please."

I said, "I'll just pay with my debit card, thank you."

"Oh no sir (or maybe it was "Comrade"), the sale price is only for Dillard's Club members.  I'll be happy to open you a membership.  ("Membership" must now be the code word for credit card.)  Nope, no more "memberships" for me.

Bye-Bye.

At the other end of the mall was Macy's.  Same drill, found the men's department and a couple of nice shirts....they were Tommy Bahama....but they were waaaaay over $100 each.

Bye-Bye. 

Next it was on to Nordstrom's.  I found their men's department in the corner of the basement (how come women get 95% of the store?) and a couple of acceptable shirts.

The tag said the fabric was "modal".  So I said to myself, "Self, WTF is modal?  And more importantly, does it need to be ironed?"  I looked it up on the World Wide Web (thank you iPhone) and it said modal "pills" and likely needs ironing.

Bye-Bye.

I decided my last stop before I gave up entirely would be REI.  Fortunately they had a couple of Colombia shirts that I liked, never mind that they looked like I was going fishing, so I bought 'em.

Now I'm just hoping the "fisherman look" is better than the "holocaust survivor look".  I'm thinking it's a toss-up.  Meh.  ;)

S

7 comments:

  1. What is the point of being married if you shop for your own clothes?...well aside from that other stuff.

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    1. I am not allowed to pick out his underwear or socks......or anything else that is clothing. I am consulted only. It works LOL

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  2. LOL - I hate shopping too! Some of the clothes that I wear were first purchased 15 years ago - I'm sure my coworkers are tired of seeing me in the same things all the time. Urgh.

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  3. I enjoy shopping if it involves book, kitchen stuff, or electronics. Clothes shopping makes me break out in sweat. I was born a couple of centuries too soon...I'd prefer the uniforms they wore on Star Trek. I'd love a closet with seven identical pants and shirts! I should have become a nurse or doctor: scrubs. Problem solved.

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    Replies
    1. shopping for any kind of pants or shorts .... well that's just it's own version of hell.

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  4. I've always hated clothes shopping. Even when I was younger and thinner I couldn't by pants off the rack so it's discouraging when everything has to be hemmed, and Mrs. C. doesn't do hemming.

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  5. Make sure you hang a few lures on the shirt before the meeting. That is a show of power.

    I live in colored shirts and shorts and sometimes cargo pants, nobody to impress.

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