Why is it that good 'ol boys are the ones the news media always approach first when they want an eye-witness account of a disaster? Most haven't shaved in months, they're wearing ripped shirts with holes them, and they rarely have time to put their teeth in, things apparently happening so fast.
"Uh, yeah, well, I seen this little feller just floatin' down the street, holding on to his beer cooler for dear life, chasin' his house as it floated away. He was yellin', 'Mavis, you and little Elvis get up on the roof and keep a look out for gubment helicopters.'"
"Ever thang worked out OK as he saved his beer and his house got jambed under a bridge about a half mile down the road. I think it was Old Milwaukee. The beer, I mean."
Not long after K and I met we were talking and she asked, "Have you ever been on TV?" I was at first a bit taken back as I'm well groomed, my shirts are in excellent condition, and I have all my own teeth.
"Sure, lots of times. Why? Did something blow up? Are we going to be on TV? What did I miss?"
"No, just curious. When were you on TV last?"
"About 3 years ago. There's a real estate show that nobody watches on Sunday mornings and I was featured. The camera crew took shots of the neighborhood, the interior of one of our homes, then we (the drop-dead gorgeous TV lady and I) sat out in the back yard and talked, with the golf course and little lake in the background."
To me the obvious follow-up question should have been "how did you do" or "were you nervous" or maybe "did people stop you on the street later and say they saw you on TV?" (good, no, and no)
Nope, not K. Her only question was, "What did you wear?"
What did I wear? Huh?
I don't remember what I wore 3 days ago, much less 3 years ago. All I'm sure of is I wasn't buck naked. Beyond that I have no clue.
Chalk it up to one more of those differences between men and women. ;)
S
That always seems to be the most important thing on a woman's mind. I find it is best to just make something up.
ReplyDeleteVery funny!!
What was the beautiful TV lady wearing?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to plead the Fifth on that one, Bruce. ;)
DeleteBlogger Girl is gonna be on the teevee tomorrow. I've been lots of times too, like the time I was live on five or six NYC channels at once after calling in sick at work.
ReplyDeletef
I've never been on TV, which is a good thing because my voice sounds like Tiny Tim and people would be adjusting their TVs.
ReplyDeleteThat settles it...when it comes to clothes, I'm not really a woman. They only way I can remember what I wore yesterday is by looking in the laundry basket.
ReplyDeleteNever been on TV, but I took a picture of a moon once that made it on the local news, and they mentioned my name.
I still want to know what shirt you were wearing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you wonder why I always dress for disasters. Pete Delkus [local weather dude] gets on TV and starts sending me personal texts [we are friends like that - me and a million other ppl] about the tornado heading my way - I am in the closet finding something appropriate to wear. I am packing a bag and finding a nice outfit - because the second I think that Pete is wrong about this one and the second I stay in my old ratty t-shirt and undies is the second the roof flies off and we are on TV and then I'm that "crazy redneck on TV in her undies talking about how the roof flew off and I'll never get my casserole dish back"
LOL at Kelly :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with PP on this - I have to look in the laundry basket too. Although I WOULD remember what I was wearing if I ever appeared on TV. Maybe. I mean, I remember what I wore to my wedding... (but I only have a vague idea of what Mike wore - ha!).