Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Looks like I'll be checking out soon

Ugh!  Just take me now.

I saw a story online this morning....and we all know everything on the internet is true....that said there are 11 foods that are so contaminated with bacteria and other yucky crawly things they are likely to kill you.  Then it went on to list my diet!

Meat and poultry....Yes, I eat a modest amount of both.

Leafy greens....I like a salad on occasion, even though some improperly washed lettuce likely was the source of my food poisoning a couple weeks ago.

Eggs....That's been my Sunday breakfast ritual since I was a kid. 

Tuna....I made some tuna salad just last week.

Oysters....I tried to eat them once but my mouth rejected them.

Potatoes....Love 'em.  You cook 'em, I'll eat 'em.

Berries....I have several varieties in the refrig right now.

Sprouts....I swore off them a few years ago after a near death experience.

Tomatoes....I eat them daily when they're in season....like right now.

Cheese....Some smoked Gouda is on my tapas lunch menu for today.

Ice cream....I have a half gallon in the freezer at all times.  I currently have some Blue Bell Pralines 'n Cream.

Luckily I'm still allowed bread.  It said that most people will have "sub-optimal results" (like a slow, painful death?) with a gluten-free diet.  Good, 'cause I like glute.

Until I read this I didn't realize I was virtually on life support.  (Apparently reading will kill you, too.)

You're all invited to my wake.  Casual, of course.  I've requested some fine Single-Malt Scotch be served.  Cheers!

S


15 comments:

  1. That illustrates the importance of washing food and cooking it properly.

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  2. I've got cherry tomatoes on my desk right now - yikes!!

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  3. THese foods combined with saliva and ingested daily over many, many years will indeed kill you.

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    1. Oh dear gawd...then I am SO screwed!

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Was the story/"research" sponsored by the fish farmer's council? ;)

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    1. I don't know, and frankly I'm not concerned by it in any event. I'm not about to change my diet now. :)

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  6. I eat most of them, but worry little..

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  7. I do believe most of the worries about what we eat can be reduced or eliminated by washing those dangerous foods down with the appropriate kind of liquid. You know, the kind that has a %-sign somewhere on the bottle... :-)

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  8. Now I'm wondering what I'll have for dinner....wait! I see a census-taker coming up the walk, and I have some fava beans and a nice Chianti in the kitchen....
    Ta,

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  9. EVERYTHING we eat is going to kill us eventually. Cave people only had a life expectancy of 25 years so food without pesticides didn't allow them to live any longer.

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    1. And if preservatives keep food from spoiling, won't they keep ME from spoiling, too? :)

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  10. nobody gets off this spinning rock alive anyway. :)

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