Friday, February 15, 2013

Hi, my name is Scott, and I'm a neat-freak



It's true.  It's not something I'm especially proud of, but it feels good to finally admit it out loud.  I'm out.  Please be kind.  I hope this doesn't jeopardize my man card when I say this, but I actually know how to wash clothes, and dishes, and iron shirts, too.  

Strange thing is, my neat-freakishness wasn't inherited.  My parent's house was always clean, but they never worried about every little thing being in its place.  And my childhood was back in the day when it was the women who beat the clothes on a flat rock down by the river....no wait, that was Little House on the Prairie.

What I meant was, the women did the housework, and the men did the yard work.  My dad instilled in me a fear / awe of our washing machine.  We both looked at all the little dials and knobs on top like they were the controls of a 747.  (Make that a DC-6....this was back in the '50's.)  We didn't dare touch anything.

It wasn't until I was married and began my hobby of working / volunteering at airshows that I learned how to use a washing machine.  I would come back from a show with my dirty laundry, splotched with oil and dirt and stink, and my wife would refuse to even touch them, much less wash them.  So, with my stubborn gene being challenged, I dove in. 

Let's see....clothes in here (duh)....soap on top....let's go with "normal" wash....hot?....cold?....split the difference....GO!  Hey.  It worked!  Clean clothes.  Methinks mom (and wifey) had us bamboozled all those years. 

Over time I figured out all the nuances of washing and drying clothes.  Then I moved on to ironing shirts. On those occasions when I needed to look like a civilized human, it was me ironing or going without.   (NOTE:  Most of my shirts to this day are "wash 'n wear", whether the tag says so or not.)

During my bachelor years I really hit my domestic stride.  I had a housekeeper (still do), but things can get pretty messed up between cleanings, so I learned how to vacuum, clean the wood floors with this special little mop thingy, learned which detergent didn't leave spots on my plastic Dickey's BBQ and Fuzzy's Taco's cups, etc.

By the time K came along my domestic skills were hitting on all 8 cylinders.  I could cook enough to keep from looking emaciated, put everything away in it's proper place, dust, scrub, and spit shine....she thought she'd hit the lottery!



I like to keep her thinking that way.  ;)

Have a great weekend everyone.  

S



9 comments:

  1. Yep, you are a nut (which we already knew). But good for you! Although we both do a great job with laundry (gotta have clothes!) I am a half-hearted housekeeper (at best), and Mike is even less interested. It requires a LOT of effort on our part when we're expecting company!

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    1. "I'm like an Almond Joy...."some times you feel like a nut, some times you don't." It's just that more ofen than not I DO. ;)

      S

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  2. I, too, am fairly fluent in these domestic skills, though alas they don't reach the level of neat freak, as my wife will attest. There remains a certain degree of haphazardness in my perfection of these skills. Still, my wife acknowledges that she's lucky that I'm willing to cook, shop, do laundry, and we all there is merit to keeping wives feeling happy.

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    1. Yes sir! "If mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" :)

      S

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  3. I will do wash, and even fold. I will load and unload the dishwasher. I even vacuum from time to time and clean bathrooms...but seriously Scott...even women don't iron anymore!

    If you were not a builder you might have to turn in your card.

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    1. Relax Big Joe, that's only when someone is getting married or buried.

      S

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  4. For reasons I'm sure you will understand, I will not be sharing this post with Mrs. Chatterbox.

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  5. Three cheers for you!

    When I was younger, my whole family used to laugh about one uncle who was exceptionally unskilled in ANY domestic task. My aunt would do everything for him. However, he was totally screwed whenever they had a fight and his wife was mad at him. He had no clue how much sugar and cream had to be put into his coffee, or how many times it had to be stirred so that it would come out the way he liked it.

    I would love a poster of your second picture...

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  6. It's funny. I do much more laundry than MY WIFE, but it's mostly because of two factors.

    1) I smoke and she doesn't, so I'm paranoid about keeping my clothes at least somewhat free from smoke odors.

    2) I use a new towel every time I bathe or shower, while she grew up in a household that hung up wet towels to dry and be re-used. Actually, I think this would make a swell blog post and I'll probably expand upon it next week, so thanks for giving me the germ of an idea!

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