Thursday, January 10, 2013

High tech pooping


Presenting...*drum roll*...the iPotty.  TaDa!

Really?  Most people will just look at this and chuckle or maybe shake their head and think "whatever."  I look at it and think, "The little fucker has his own iPad?"  So now even 2-year-olds have blown past me on the technologically savvy scale.  OH....THE SHAME!  And does the little tyke have one of those Bluetooth thingys stuck in his ear, too?

Whatever happened to that universal fixture of every well furnished bathroom, the magazine rack?  For that matter, what's happened to magazines?  Have you bought a Newsweek magazine lately?  No?  That's because they don't print it anymore.  Pfffft!  Gone.  Online only.  Every month my magazines seem to contain a few less pages of reading material and a few more pages of ads.

But back to the immediate crisis in my life.  The annual Consumer Electronics Show is now underway in Lost Wages...er...Las Vegas.  Nerds from all over have assembled to show off all their newest gizmos, things that to me look like more nails in my low-tech coffin.  They've even taken over that most holy of passions in my life....cars.

Nowadays most mainstream cars (the kind that I can afford, ie: no Ferrari's or Maserati's or Aston Martin's) no longer talk about performance.  All buyers care about today is a car's iPod connectivity or it's Bluetooth capability or it's ability to electronically parallel park itself.  And getting 60 mpg from their 3-cylinder skinny-tired hybrid "mobility device".  Where's the fun in that?

I read somewhere that a majority of kids these days don't even get a drivers license until they're pretty much forced to.  They just hole up in their rooms with their iThis and iThat and text back and forth to each other, avoiding personal contact (and daylight) at all cost.

Is this what the Apocalypse looks like?

S



8 comments:

  1. Hey my nephew is at that show! He's majoring in some computer something or other at Appalachian. And come to think of it, until he went to college he lived in his parents' basement, rarely came out, and had to be forced to get his driver's license. Hmmm.

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  2. I'm sure my niece can already use technology better than I can and she doesn't turn 2 until next month.

    One of my blogger buddies is at CES thanks to our tax dollars, so in a way that makes you part of it!

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  3. The daughter of a cousin is looking for an art class for her 3 year old. Really? How ridiculous is that! Just give the kid a box of markers, crayons, paints, and colored pencils and a big stack of paper. That's all the art class a three year old needs. That and mom. Oh but this mom can't be bothered I guess. She's also got a nanny. Why the hell did she decide to have kids?

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  4. So I'll have to call some dude in India to flush my poop?

    You are always full of good news.

    I have the latest in Apple technology for old people, it's called the iQuit

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  5. How is it that the future is already here? But do any of these devices make our lives any better or do they just give us more time to wish things were the way they were?

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  6. I just take a book in with me...or my tablet :-)

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  7. I believe it will look pretty apocalyptic if some hacker infects the software for all these cars with a virus...I'm picturing masses of stalled vehicle on freeways.

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