Tuesday, January 22, 2013

How do you take a nap?

How hard can it be?  I mean, little babies do it, apparently a big chunk of the population of Greece does it, even our little dog, Luke, takes naps.  Yesterday I tried, but failed miserably.

I had all my "to do" list worked off by 3:30.  I read the paper and perused the internet, but after a while that ceased to be fun.  "OK," I thought to myself.  "I'm retired, and retired people take naps (so I'm told), so I'll take one, too."

I took off my shoes, stretched out nice and comfy, everything was completely quiet....and nuthin'.

*Imagine that, two brothers coaching opposing teams in the Super Bowl.*

*Now where am I gonna find a piece of land where they'll let me build as small a house as I wanna build?*

*Wonder where a safe place is to hide all my usernames and passwords and security questions?*

*They had a big luncheon for the VIP's after O'Bama's inauguration, put together by a 'tasting committee'.  A what?  Is that a paid government position?*

* Wonder how many Porta-potties they had to bring in to take care of all those people at the inauguration?*  

On and on....  

I get up every day around 6 am, and I'm awake until after dinner later in the evening. That's when whatever sleep deficit I have catches up with me.  But not at 3:30 in the afternoon.  Nope, I'm still raring to go at 3:30.

So, what's the trick?  Short of trying to contract the flu on purpose or taking one of those pills that makes you sleepy but leaves you unable to operate heavy machinery (and you never know when you might stumble across a bulldozer that needs operating), I can't sleep in the daytime.

Wonder if they have meetings for that?  You know, the kind where other poor pathetic people who also can't snooze on demand sit in a big circle and confess to each other?   

"Hi, my name is Scott, and I can't take naps."



  1. You are still a rookie at this retirement thing...it's not easy, but it will come. The nap thing is tough but well worth learning...sometimes TV helps. On Sundays a Jet game never fails. Other times CNN might do the trick. It's hard but you will get it...grasshopper!

    Loved this post - What a great problem to have.

  2. Mostly I only take naps if I get very little sleep the night before. I'd rather just go to bed earlier though because naps leave me disoriented for the rest of the day.

  3. You need more practice. You’ll manage it in the end though.

  4. I loved the thoughts running through your head - ha! I can't really do naps - they mess with my sleep schedule. Even as a little kid my mom wouldn't let me take a nap so I would go to bed on time! I know I must be feeling REALLY run down if I sleep during the day.

  5. Only sissies take naps, if you're a grown man that is. You should try taking an afternoon siesta. It's so much more cultured and when you wake up it's the perfect time for sangria.

    1. I just had some sangria. I like the way you think, Steve! :)


  6. I'm a huge fan of naps. As a matter of fact, I take back all those times when I was two and didn't want to take them!

  7. I have no problem taking naps. Getting up at 6am and chasing 2 toddlers around all day helps get me sleepy. Love the thoughts that were going through your head. Too funny. Found your blog on the Cranky old man.