Monday, June 24, 2013

So, how do you like summer so far, Scott?

We're only four days into summer and I've already had a near-death heat-related experience.

I spent 4 hours outside yesterday afternoon and thought I was gonna die.  I came home around 5 drenched in sweat and went straight to the shower.  I turned on the shower water and began to undress and realized I couldn't get my t-shirt off.  It was stuck to my back.

I wrestled with that damn thing for 10 minutes and finally got it up my back to my neck, and managed to get one arm half way out, when things went straight to hell.  My left arm was sticking half in and half out of its sleeve, my right arm was behind my head tugging for all I was worth to get get the t-shirt up and over my head, while my head was bent straight down on my chest.  I needed to get my head back up so some oxygen could make it into my lungs.  I couldn't move and I couldn't see because salty sweat was in my eyes.  I was in a helluva shape.

I figured I was either going to have to call for help, rip my t-shirt to shreds to get it off, or say "hey" to Jesus.  With hot water running out it was now or never.  One last try....and I was free!  The t-shirt was a bit stretched out, but I think it's salvageable.  

Then my underwear.  I couldn't just drop 'em and step out.  I had to roll the waistband sounded like velcro pulling apart as it broke its grip on my sweaty butt.  (Not a pretty visual, is it?)

You know that story about Rip Van Winkle?  Is that even possible?  I don't want to sleep for 20 years, but I wouldn't mind hibernating in a cool place until, say, early October.

All things considered I guess it could be worse.  In addition to this #$%^&* heat and humidity, my brother is having a colonoscopy on Wednesday and a tooth extraction on Friday, and the reconstruction first step for a tooth implant.

Maybe I'd best count my blessings and just suffer in silence.

Here's to you, summer.  ;)



  1. Yeah your brother has a tougher week !


  2. Makes me glad I'm not in Texas. We just have 90 degrees and high humidity here. Yay!

  3. LOL - I have had that shirt experience before - especially after my shoulder surgery when I couldn't move my arm very well. Claustrophobia city!

  4. So sorry your brother has to go through these procedures, but that colonoscopy could be a life saver.

  5. THey need a warning label on tee shirts.

  6. My apologies for laughing. All I could do was imagine the rest of the know, the one after this sentence: "911 - what is your emergency?"