Friday, June 7, 2013

"We just can't have nice thangs!"

I do almost all our grocery shopping and pride myself on never running out of anything.  I know when we're getting low on something and add it to my weekly list.  When we empty a jar of something, for example, you can check the pantry and 99 times out of 100 you'll find another new one ready to go.  "Always Prepared Scott", that's me.

A few days ago I fixed something to eat and couldn't find the Tabasco.  *Gasp*  I know....Tabasco is considered legal tender here in the south, and I had NONE.  Hmm....

Today I was going to fix myself a quick PB&J for a snack on the run and found we had no J.  No jelly?  How could that be?  No strawberry, no grape....none.  What the....?

That's when my CSI-like mind deduced K had been on a refrigerator cleaning spree again.  And I don't mean clean as in "dirty" (it's spotless), but clean as in "I'm tired of looking at this stuff".


The next time you get the urge to clean out the refrigerator, dear wife, don't, OK?   JUST DON'T!

Make your list of what you deem not fit for purpose, and I'll make mine, and then we can call in trained negotiators to decide.  

And just for the record, Twinkies have a shelf life of at least 100 years.  Don't even think about it!  ;)



  1. You are like Mrs. Cranky, we always have a back up! I throw nothing away without checking with the boss.

    Didn't they stop selling Twinkies? That's not food, that is an investment!

    I don't use tabasco...guess I better stay in NJ.

  2. I hope when you go grocery shopping you can buy the stuff without having to call or text your wife before you pick out anything. I hate those people. What did they do before we had cell phones?

    1. No, actually she'll add her stuff to my list, and then I'll have to call her from the store and ask what the hell ____ is?

  3. My wife tells me, for instance, to get some salad dressing. What she doesn't tell me is which of the 400 brands and types she wants!

  4. Throwing out a Twinkie is grounds for divorce in my mind. Just saying... Tell K to be careful. You guys are one of my favorite couples.

  5. We usually wait until it turns green before we throw anything out. Unless it starts out green, then we wait until it turns black. :)

  6. the poor design of our current fridge led to the lack of jelly's and that ancient bottle of tabasco with 3 drops left in it.

    Every day...multiple times a day....Scott goes to the fridge to get a Coke or bottled Coffee....he attempts to bend over at the waste .... usually hits his head and swears like a sailor (this I can attest to having been a Sailor myself - although one that didn't actually "sail") and THEN grumbles something about needing "one with the freezer on the bottom"

    Me: Let's get a new fridge

    Him: grumble banks grumble houses grumble politics grumble f&^%$ banks

    Me: o.....kay.....

    So, about a month ago....Scott said he was going to make room on the bottom shelf of the door for some cokes and coffee bottles...or maybe I said it ....anyway I ended up making some room....well not everything could stay....had to make some spur of the moment decisions...

    Jelly? gone!

    mostly empty three drops left tabasco? gone! (I figured we could get him a nice fresh bottle but I don't use it so I forgot)

    Many things got to stay...including a strange assortment of medication:

    7 rectal suppositories (wrapped in sealed original packaging) all of which expired in 2003 - AND those may have come in handy during the stomach virus of 2010 and 2011

    1 bottle of ear drops for Luke - The Yorkie

    *No box of Twinkies has ever lasted longer than 24 hours in my presence


    1. Those were suppositories? So how come when I had that stomach yuck a couple of years ago and complained my left-over meds were kinda chewy you never said anything? That was SO wrong!

      So then my miraculous 24 hr. recovery was just a placebo effect?

  7. Ooh, cleaning out the fridge is always fraught with danger. We always have problems at work where someone will decide to clean out the fridge there, throw out something that's been sitting in there for a month, and five minutes later the person will come by and ask where their terrifyingly old sandwich is. Never fails.

  8. Me: Let's get a new fridge.
    Him: Grumble banks grumble houses grumble politics grumble f&$#% banks.
    Me: O...kay

    Ha ha. That is so spot on!