Monday, July 15, 2013

What's in a name?

The whole world seems to be watching intently the maternity status of Kate Duchess Middleton Windsor Cambridge (I hope I got that right).  If you're like me and are easily confused by all that Royal lineage stuff, lemme help you out:  Kate's first born will be the eventual heir to the British throne.  That is once Elizabeth calls it quits, and Charles gets a turn, and William, too.  Judging by Elizabeth's tenure, that would mean the soon-to-pop little tyke will become King/Queen when he/she is about 150 years old.

But what's its name?  That's what everyone wants to know.  Traditionally monarchs have had very regal sounding names like William or John or Victoria.  People (and t-shirt vendors) all over Britain are waiting with baited breath to find out the name Wills and Kate have been keeping so secret.  (Think Edward Snowden picked it up on a wire-tap?)

Here's my suggestion....just as the new Pope, Francis, has deliberately tried to identify with the common man, maybe the proud Royal parents should also try to put a human face on the Monarchy.  What better way to do that than by giving their child a name the average bloke down at the corner pub might have? 

Something like Waldo, or Farley, or Edna, or Tyrone?  (Sorry Kate, but Honey Boo Boo is already taken.)  OK, maybe they sound more like guys in a bar in New Jersey than a pub in London, but you get the idea.

All hail King Farley I.
(Yeah, definitely an Old English 800 kind of guy.  ;)



  1. I think they should go with Ralph in honor of the cinematic masterpiece King Ralph. Whatever they name the kid he/she can always take another name when he/she becomes king/queen since I guess it's like the pope that way. At least that's what I gathered from watching The King's Speech.

  2. How about honoring the nation's respected elders and naming it John Paul George Richard. (Ringo would sound silly once he becomes king.)

    1. More silly than "Farley"? Maybe "Bond, James Bond"?

    2. She'd probably be made fun of with a name like John Paul George Richard. ;)

  3. What better way to reach out to their American ... hm, cousins? ... than by naming the offspring Billy Bob or Bobby Jo?