Today's the day, guys. Before the sun sets you'll be either a hero or a goat. Play your cards right, bring her an appropriate gift, and your future could be filled with fireworks. Mess it up and you're on the couch with a bag of Cheetos as your only companion.
The deciding difference is "THE GIFT". Obviously flowers, candy, a fragrance, jewelry, a Hallmark card (but only Hallmark....any other will get you labeled a cheap slug), and / or a nice meal at an upscale restaurant should suffice.
Every guy who can fog a mirror should know by now that household appliances (think vacuum cleaners or toasters) are a sure way to have your dinner handed to you for the foreseeable future in a little bag by a high-school kid at a drive-thru window. Fuggetaboutit.
What about the thousands of other potential gifts you could choose from? My lady, for example, would be quite happy if I took her on a shopping spree at a bookstore. Or pushed the grocery cart for her as she perused the aisles at Central Market where they stock all those crappy "healthy" foods women seem so enamored with. OK, a little off-beat maybe, but still has the potential to get me a spot on the king size mattress. Just remember it's a very fine line between "hero" and "goat".
Tickets to a play or musical should be safe, but personally, I'd rather take my chances with the couch. *Oh, the horror!*
Sporting goods? Absolutely NOT! While some women might like the idea, many would read something into it that never crossed your mind, like "So you think I'm fat, huh? You think I need to work out?" Ouch! Don't chance it.
A vacation trip might be well received, but you've got to think it through very carefully. Nothing near a fish-filled river, a sports stadium, a race track, or any locale that has a tasting room attached to a distillery. The only acceptable destination involves a chase lounge on a beach or the top deck of a big-assed boat.
There are probably a few other gifts that might impress her, but I suggest you just put that "I'll be different this year" idea back in the can (and that includes personalized headgear after I crashed and burned yesterday) and ante up some flowers / chocolate, etc.
As I've learned many times before I got old and wise: "Man cannot live by Cheetos alone."
Happy Valentine's everyone! :)