Monday, February 10, 2014

But now and we'll DOUBLE the offer!

We seem to have an affinity, a need even, to name things.  As a kid I named my bicycle, but I never took it beyond that.  Boaters are notorious for the flamboyant names they give their water craft, and today even stadiums and ball parks have sponsored names.  

Even staid historians* love to name things.  In just the past century they've given us The Oil Age, The Atomic Age,  The Space Age, The Information Age, and now they tell us we're in The Social Age. I want the naming rights to the next "Age".  I'm gonna call it The Sale Age.

Prices reduced up to 50%.  $10,000 off MSRP.  Save, save, SAVE....President's Day Sales start this week!  Red Apple Sale....White Sale....Manager's Sale....

Everything is on sale these days.  If it isn't on sale, we won't buy it.  Lots of people say "I never pay full price for anything."  That's because they don't know what "full price" is.  Trust me, you're paying enough for the retailers to cover costs and make a nice profit, too, call it what you want.  (Macy's stock price is near a 5-year high.  It didn't get there by them giving stuff away.)

Truth is, "full price" is whatever the retailer wants it to be.  It's an absolutely made-up number.  I had to get a Rx refilled over the weekend and the paperwork that came with it said my insurance saved me $140 off MSRP.  WooHoo!  Save, baby, save!

My daughter posted on Facebook recently that the one-hour day surgery for my grandaughter's ear tubes was billed at over $20,000.  Why not make it $50K, $75K, or an even Million?  The full price doesn't mean squat since the insurance companies have already negotiated to pay just a tiny fraction of the billed price.

So in the spirit of The Sale Age I'm making this one time only, sale ends soon, better hurry these prices won't last long, offer:  Sign up today for me to build you a new custom home @ 50% off MSRP and I'll throw in 4-years tuition for your kid to attend Stanford, a lifetime supply of OxyClean, and a cute puppy, too.  I know....I must be CRAZY!

Operators are standing by.  Please have your credit card ready.  :)


* History was one of my college minors.


  1. Great post!

    Everyday I pass a local sporting goods store with a big sign "Handgun Sale." I sometimes think, "Damn, I need a handgun, I've just been waiting to get one on sale!"

  2. I have a sneaky suspecion that when I see one of the German stores that have signs saying 30% off or more, that they marked the items up by that much and are actually selling the items at full price.

  3. I remember after one XMas my brother and I were psyched because a department store was having a "sale" of 50% off all their toys. Except when we got there we realized their 50% off made everything about as much as Toys R Us or KMart. So we ended up buying nothing there.

  4. There was a store in Prescott that had "Going out of Business Sales" for years. They finally DID go out of business, probably because no one was falling for the signs. And don't you just love the "SALE" signs that are painted on the building permanently?

  5. I've been lusting after a new camera. Luckily for our checkbook (and my dear husband's disposition), I research everything to death and mull every purchase over for months before I'm sure enough to make a major purchase.

    Then I found out that Joan Perry just got the same camera I've been lusting after. It's a sign...

    Then I found out that you just got a new camera. It's a sign...

    And then it went on sale at Amazon. I think that sign just hit me in the back of the head...

    1. A woman in lust and a sale at Amazon....a powerful combination. ;)